How would you get revenge? (Lighthearted)

[ohwellnevermindanyway]

I'm a bit upset at the moment and while I'm a very sensible woman, there's a little itch of wanting some revenge that needs to be scratched. I'd never do anything like this and I want into make it clear I'm not being grabby but just hurt.

So it has to come to my attention my "d"f has almost certainly changed his will and leaving everything to his gf (who has been siphoning off his income and savings into her hefty bank account for a fair while now).

Family tried to step in because of legal issues with potential for later life care but he's stubborn snd even if he realises he's been scammed, he would never ever admit it. So, this means when he goes all out family photos, my late mother's jewellery, my dgp's belongings etc will go to his younger girlfriend.

She already "disposed of" many of our sentimental items from my siblings and my childhood and seems to have gone round their flat removing pictures of us and our kids from frames (given as presents to my dad) and put her own kids pictures in. We've tried to retrieve photos and even our birth certificates and been blocked. He's even asked my siblings and I to "give back" our dm's jewellery (that he gave to us after her funeral) because he wants to "keep it together".

It is what it is, there's no way to fight it and nothing will change so go cheer me up....

What low level revenge would you like to dish out to someone you know? Nothing illegal/physically damaging... embarrassment level rather than psychological traumatic.

Prawns in curtain poles? Signing people up for telemarketing calls? Most juvenile wins

I'd make a point of giving him a framed family photo of you and your DCs at every opportunity. Christmas, birthday, Father's Day - big framed photo of you all, every single time. She can't get rid of all of them. Also a photo calendar with pictures of your kids for their kitchen, photo mouse mat, framed pictures drawn by your kids, anything you can think of - basically constant reminders of your presence! If she ever comments you can just coolly say that you've noticed they don't have any pictures up of your branch of the family.

I'd sign her up to dating websites as she may finding bigger pickings or sign her up but use yr dads email and start planting the idea that she is having an affair in the hope that he might chick her out. But I am a complete cow

Frozen sausages. Best. Revenge. Ever.

Sadly very common with stupid, frightened old men.

Dont give the jewellery back but wear it when you see them.

Ohwell I think the best thing to do to save your sanity is to go low contact (not no contact, or she’s won). I would recommend being a thorn in her side though. Make her earn that money that should be yours and your siblings’.

I'd go and take all of your DM's jewellery, all your photos and whatever else then fuck them both off and leave him to get on with it when he needs care.

I'd post letters from an ' wronged wife' whose husband she has been having an affair with. I'd also smear her car in excrement and report her for drink driving ( sorry police, wouldn't really). I'd pay a suspicious looking youth to follow her everywhere throwing eggs and shouting obscenities.

@BlueMerchant I'd hate to get on your bad side

oh well nevermind I have really dark thoughts. Rarely act on them. I'm really quite meek.

ohwellnevermind

The problem is, when the shit really hits the fan, she’s highly likely to not be there for him.
She’s hardly going to be doing the hard slog of care for him.

Can you get him on your own and try and talk to him (though I presume you’ve probs done this) or at least send an email saying how deeply hurt you are about sentimental things,

Other than that, it really is his choice. And you’ll probably end up looking after him sadly.

Yep, we've had that conversation many many many times. There was talk of carers (that he would have to pay for). We organised them for them and then said that he would pay them directly (rather than via transferring a larger amount of money to her as she insisted) and it caused a massive argument and ended with him going nc with one of my siblings.

I'm mainly worried about him requiring care and them saying he's done that deprivation of assets thing. She's not in a great state either health wise.

I would work out a line so that when you’re talking to mutual friends you can say something along the lines of ‘yes we thought she was lovely too. But we were upset when she decided to have a clear out of all mum’s old things and took them straight to the dump as she didn’t want them around - we would have loved to have had our childhood photos and it’s a real pain that she threw my birth certificate away. We would have been more than happy to go and pick them up if only they had asked us...

And if your dad ever asks for the jewellery back start talking about your mum and doesn’t he remember that she wanted you/your siblings to have it, and start waffling on about the plans that he and your mum had for you and your siblings and that you really miss him and hate that he is pushing you out for his new family but that you always love him and wish he would come and see you/you could all go out for a meal/whatever it is you like doing with your dad...

I would also consider ringing up Age UK (think it’s them ) for advice and say that you’re worried that she is financially abusing him and taking advantage of him. They might have some ideas on how to proceed rather than waiting for it to get to the contesting the Will stage.

And not to worry you more - sorry - there was a fascinating article on the bbc website a while ago - about people who marry older people in order to take all their money - even if someone has been diagnosed with dementia and has no idea who they’re standing next to and what they’re doing there’s nothing to stop them from getting married - they had several examples in the story. Then as they were married there was nothing to stop them taking everything as it became theirs at the marriage ceremony. Worth digging out the story as some people were trying to campaign about it. Might have been along the lines of elder marriage.

@wibbletooth I do have a sneaking suspicion that they've got married secretly tbh. When their health was better they went on holiday a few times and they are technically "engaged" (dad kindly let us know on the anniversary of my mum's death one year... via text).

If you love him (and it sounds like you do) I'd intervene. Just 'turn up' en masse as a family. Hang out in his house as often as possible. Drop by for a cup of tea, a glass of wine, Sunday dinner etc. Stop her from being able to isolate him so often.
Make jokey public comments about her family fleecing him every time they ask for stuff. Make it very uncomfortable for her. If she tries to get you to leave just grin and hug him in front of her and say 'he's my dad', showing her you're not that easily got rid of.

I honestly think the best revenge is to start showing round-the-clock family presence. As you leave, your sibling drops by. Keep t up as often and as long as possible. Outstay your welcome by hours and hours on frequent unsolicited visits. That'll re-establish his connection with his own children and it'll show her you're a force to be reckoned with.

Bring round photos f his grandchildren. Take her photos out of the frames and put the new ones in, saying, 'We know you like to change the photos around often.' Play her at her own game.

In your shoes I’d buy a little photo scanner, I have one that cost about £60 and go round one day and scan the photos from your childhood onto a memory card.

I did that when FIL started with dementia and occasionally chucked stuff out - we couldn’t just empty his house so scanned them all in. Also meant DH and his brother could have copies printed.

You can’t change your Dad but you can make sure you don’t lose the photos forever

How long have they been together.?
Deprivation of assets - yes it could been seem like that which would be no bad thing.
And if the are married - better for you if care is needed.
But I agree, get in her face

I can't take credit for this (I think it's genius) but a friend fell out with their neighbours. Another friend suggested putting maggots through the letterbox during the day whilst neighbours at work. They'd crawl immediately somewhere dark and a few days later the house would be overwhelmed with flies x

She wouldn’t be stupid enough to get married at this point. If the will is a done deal.
There is literally nothing you can really do other than be there for him when it all goes horribly wrong.

Are your childhood photos still at his house or did they get thrown away? If they are still there and you know where they are, just take them next time you visit. He's not going to notice if he rarely thinks of you all, let alone looks at your family pictures.
On the same visit I'd go round the house with a thick Sharpie, drawing 'taches and glasses on all pics of her family 😁.

Do you know any older actors who could pretend to be a very wealthy friend of yours looking for love who could then make a play for her, encourage her to leave your dad then once she has left him reveal that he is actually penniless.??? I clearly watch too much shit telly. 🤣🤣🤣