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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think weddings should finish earlier?

88 replies

ThomasRichard · 15/06/2019 22:57

I know it’s being a party pooper but seriously, everyone’s had enough by 10pm and is clock-watching to work out the earliest they can leave without being rude. I always stay to celebrate with the bridge & groom but am so ready to call it a night. Who genuinely wants to be up til midnight dancing awkwardly with the bride’s drunk uncle?

OP posts:

DannyWhizBang · 15/06/2019 22:58

Agree. Such a long day.

FiddleFaddleDingDong · 15/06/2019 23:00

Can't you just leave a bit earlier? I like a party so am generally happy to keep going until the small hours but people leaving earlier in the evening is an accepted thing.

angelikacpickles · 15/06/2019 23:00

Midnight? You'd be doing well to be in bed at 3am after an Irish wedding.

You just need to go to better weddings!

Flamingnora123 · 15/06/2019 23:01

Disagree. They should start MUCH later and not have the awful million hours waiting around while photos are done. Also miss out the dried up formal meals where everyone drinks too much to pass the time but just end up feeling crap and knackered so can't be arsed to celebrate. It should all be about the party! Start at 5pm, or have a nap marquee for the boring middle bits. Anyone looking for a wedding planner?

jamaisjedors · 15/06/2019 23:02

10 pm? Wow that seems really early to me. But surely you can go once the meal and the first dance are over?

Weddings in France usually go on til about 4 or 5 am and include breakfast the next day.

They don't start at 11am though I guess, just afternoon/early evening and then party.

It's true I haven't been to many weddings since my 20s so not sure how I'd hold up now... actually that's not true, friends got married last year and we were the first to leave at 3am, everyone else was staying over (and we are not big party goers at all).

VladmirsPoutine · 15/06/2019 23:06

I think for a wedding I can make plenty of allowances for delays, long tedious speeches, people being drunk and generally carrying on. Yes you're a party pooper

GunpowderGelatine · 15/06/2019 23:11

YABU, some of us like to see in the wee small hours

However they should be shorter and start later I think! Nothing worse than a ceremony that starts at 11am (and you don't get fed til 4pm so you end up starving and get sloshed off the welcome drink 🥴)

coral13 · 15/06/2019 23:12

I must just have friends with great weddings! Every one I'm really sad to leave at midnight as been having such a good time. And the last one I was pregnant so can't even use alcohol as a reason.

dudsville · 15/06/2019 23:17

Oh gaaawwwwd, they are long boring cookie cutter repetitive awful things. Yes they should be shorter. (I no longer attend!)

Outofinspiration · 15/06/2019 23:20

YABU - I love weddings that go on really late, especially if you are staying in the hotel and can stay up in the bar for as long as you want!

You wouldn't do very well at Irish weddings, the first dance isn't until about 10pm sometimes!

Redglitter · 15/06/2019 23:20

You're under no obligation to stay. I'd feel very short changed if they finished that early. The past few weddings I've been to I've stayed at the venue & the after party party has gone on til about 3am. Having said that most weddings I've been to are 3pm ceremonies

JustTheCrowsAndTheBeef · 15/06/2019 23:26

IME you can leave with impunity after the first dance and cake-cutting.

user1474894224 · 15/06/2019 23:27

Ha ha. Our wedding was a month ago. I put that it finished at 10:00pm......we were starting at 2:30pm.....lots of guests have kids......to my mind that was quite late enough for us to all deal with tired kids. Only one person made any comment about an early finish and that was a childless friend. It worked for us. I'm not a 2 in the morning girl, nor is my husband. We didn't have to worry who had the kids as they stayed till the end.

CanBlondesWearMustard · 15/06/2019 23:29

Me! I always feel a midnight finish is too early!

Pipandmum · 15/06/2019 23:33

Good scheduling is key. Hate standing around waiting for the next bit. My first wedding in this country and didn’t understand how it worked at all. Service at 11, lunch, then people just hung around or went off for a bit (to the pub I now realise). I thought that was it so said my goodbyes and people were shocked I wasn’t staying for the evening do.
My own wedding I made sure it was planned so that there was never time for people to get bored. Wedding, drinks and canapés while photos being done (I did my side before the ceremony), dinner, speeches, dancing. All in the same venue.

BearFoxBear · 15/06/2019 23:37

You just need to go to better weddings!

This! Scottish weddings are late affairs too, proper parties, thankfully.

Op, are you English? I've been to a few weddings in England and they were incredibly dull, not like the Scottish or Irish ones I've been to. I was begging for it to be over by 10pm too.

PanteneProV · 15/06/2019 23:41

They should start much later! And have much less hanging about. I got married at 4pm and it was marvellous, everyone still had plenty of vim when it wrapped up at 1am.

CherryPavlova · 15/06/2019 23:48

That’s just as the fun is starting and before the supper is served though.

Original poster

ThomasRichard · 15/06/2019 23:49

Haha yes I am just feeling old I think! I’m not a big dancer or maker of small-talk so find the evenings tedious. So many people have left by the end that I can’t be the only one.

OP posts:

switswoo81 · 15/06/2019 23:54

Goodness the last few weddings(Ireland)I have been at have gone on so long food had been arranged for the residents bar at 4 in the morning! It costs a fortune to attend so by God I'm getting my moneys worth!

FiddleFaddleDingDong · 15/06/2019 23:55

Better to put in a shorter stint fully in the party mood than to force yourself to stay after you've stopped having fun.

daisydoooo · 15/06/2019 23:58

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

jennymanara · 15/06/2019 23:58

No I am not clock watching by 10pm, but still dancing and having fun.
OP you are just getting old. Not everyone is like you.

MorondelaFrontera · 16/06/2019 00:06

YABU

well, not BU to disappear quietly when you've had enough. Unless you are in the wedding party, nobody will notice.

10pm is far too early for a party, diner has barely finished by then, if at all.
I agree with above, the boring weddings are the one where bride, groom and various disappear for hours to take photos.

I wouldn't expect a birthday party for an adult to be done by 10pm, so a wedding even less.

stucknoue · 16/06/2019 00:06

Depends if there's an evening do with extra guests and what time the whole thing kicked off. 3pm ceremony is ok for a midnight finish but if it's 12.30 (last 2 I went to) there's so much waiting around

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