Do you think it's necessary to know about your partners sexual history?

[ustr]

This might be a bit of a weird question.

So I've always been under the impression that in a good relationship you pretty much know everything. Not in a controlling way or anything, but more about having a solid friendship base within the relationship where you know everything about each others past, basically I liked the idea of knowing each other inside out (to a certain extent). I always thought that knowing about each other's sexual history and relationship history was somewhat important. It's probably the only thing DP and I don't know about each other.

My ex and I were together for years and we knew everything in that sense, who we'd both been with, about past relationships, everything - but we were fairly young and there wasn't a lot to tell and it all kind of just came out casually when there was a lot of security in the relationship so I wasn't bothered.

With my current DP, we know really little about each other in that sense. I know about his one long term relationship and he knows about mine but that's it. Couldn't tell you even approx how many partners each other have had, if we still have contact with anyone we've slept with, when we lost virginities, nothing. I'm worried that it's weird to have this part so untalked about in a serious relationship but also feel like it'd bother me to hear about it.

Am I overthinking this?

When I was younger I thought it was important and showed we were close, but sometimes it done me no good and made me feel like I was being compared. Now I'm older I don't think its relevant, I do want to know some history married/cheated/same sex relationships, but not specific details.

I don't know my DP's sexual history. We've been together 8 years and we were both young. I know he's slept with at least one other person but other than that I don't have a clue.

He knows mine but that's only because he was my first.

@justbeniceplease fair enough! Each to their own!

I wouldn't discuss that with anyone. Why would I?

It would either upset them or titillate them and I wouldnt be happy with either.

I bet there are plenty of things you don't discuss with your partner
Yeast infections
Constipation
Phlegmy coughs

Some things are private. Best keep them that way

It's the kind of thing that would naturally come up when you're in a LTR. Not necessarily the details of exactly who you've been with but it's likely you'll know the main relationships and whether you ever had one night stands or minor flings.

@hazell42

That's so weird. You don't discuss your past with your partner at all? My previous relationships are an important part of my life it would be bizarre to keep them secret. I would definitely not get with a partner that was so secretive.

My DH and I have had a fair few partners before each other. We don't know the full details or the exact number. No need.

What we do know is anything important that might affect each other. I'd want to know important sexual health details from a new partner and any kids but that would probably be it. There's no need go be ashamed but the past doesn't always need to be dragged up.

@hazell42 I would, and have, discussed all of those with my DH.

Same as a PP, want to know anything big like sexual health, fathering children etc but I dont need to know numbers and details.

When I was 16 I had a boyfriend who would gloat about how many people he'd slept with (and call me a slag for the amount I had)... I think he put me off!

Year, we both know numbers etc. It was a conversation we had early on as numbers do matter to me.

Well, I have discussed my bowels and thrush plenty of times with him. Our past sex life, not so much.

Don't really want to know and it isn't important.

Nope. Don't care. What happened before me is nothing to with me, it's in the past and no good can come of knowing.

All I care about is from the day he met me. I've never asked, and he's never asked.