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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To feel a bit weird about a photo

54 replies

Randomsunshineovermull · 15/06/2019 13:13

I’m absolutely prepared to be told IBU, i know I am but I’m surprised I feel weird about this.

So the school has a parents only portal where they post pictures of the children, (tapestry for those who know it) I’m happy it’s secure and you only see photos that your child’s tagged in. A new post came on this morning of my daughter and 8 other kids in her class doing an obstacle course. So again the only people who can see this post are the registered parents of these 8 kids, all 4/5 years old. There’s about 10 photos and in one a few of them are rolling on the floor, my daughter is in the middle of the frame facing the camera with her dress up around her waist, legs out to the side her pants on full show, the rational part of me again knows it’s an innocent picture obviously, they are all laughing and giggling but if I’d caught that picture I wouldn’t post it anywhere someone else could see, I don’t know all these parents, I can’t name all the 8 kids.
So my question is have IBU seeing inappropriate where it doesn’t exist (I’ve read the flaming of pants being called panties and people being uncomfortable), or do you think a polite calm email to the teacher asking for it to be removed is a huge over reaction?

I have no issue whatsoever in the playing, or the photo being taken, it’s only the fact it’s posted for people I don’t know (even only 16 at most, even though they are fellow parents) to see that is making me uncomfortable, im probably completely over thinking this and should just move on!

OP posts:
Sceptre86 · 15/06/2019 14:20

I would ask them to remove it too so in my opinion yabu. If it is something you wouldn't post for anyone to see then I could see why it might make you uncomfortable for her.

VladmirsPoutine · 15/06/2019 14:21

nokidshere please post a picture of yourself legs open and pants showing, for us all to judge.

@revengepudding Grin I agree with your comment entirely but the way you wrote this made me laugh hysterically!

manicinsomniac · 15/06/2019 14:28

I think it would be perfectly fine and appropriate for you to ask them to take it down and I agree with the comments about dignity.

I'm not familiar with the sharing site - can the photos be downloaded by the parents with viewing permission. Because, if they can, presumably there's nothing the school can do about them being shared more widely, including on social media.

I've heard about class photos needing to be sent back and edited/a different angle chosen because of underwear on show - once it was the teacher's!

Winchestermom35 · 15/06/2019 14:32

Our nursery uses tapestry & while I might see my son in a group with other children, only I can see his photos iyswim? So I wouldn’t know if a photo of my son is in someone else’s feed?
Is yours a group thing? If not it may have been shared on your page but no one else’s?

category12 · 15/06/2019 14:34

Winchester, can you download photos from Tapestry?

Wallhanging · 15/06/2019 14:34

Winchestermom35 Does it really matter? Someone thinking the parents want to see a knicker picture is still weird.

DizzySue · 15/06/2019 14:36

I would definitely be asking them to remove it (in a few years time your DD would be mortified by a photo like this) I'm quite surprised somebody though it would be ok to put it on the website - hopefully this lack of judgement won't be repeated again if you raise their attention to it.

joystir59 · 15/06/2019 14:37

For me the issue is that she isn't allowed to wear trousers FFS!!! Why should girls have to wear clothes which can compromise their dignity?

DizzySue · 15/06/2019 14:38

It's irrelevant if parents can 'download' the photos, because screenshots can be taken if anything that you can view on your screen and put on social media.

poshme · 15/06/2019 14:43

I'm involved in youth work, and our photo guidelines are that we must always check all photos are appropriate before uploading to anything.
'Appropriate' guidelines include that no underwear should be showing.

I'd absolutely ask for it to be removed, and ask to see the school photo guidelines. This photo should never have been added to the system- it should have been immediately deleted.

Looneytune253 · 15/06/2019 14:47

Also it may be worth noting that it's only the 8 parents that can view the pic and also that you cannot screenshot from tapestry either so no chance of it making it elsewhere

Wallhanging · 15/06/2019 14:52

This is a photo of your ridiculous post Do you get it now?

To feel a bit weird about a photo
Puppytooth · 15/06/2019 15:08

OP you’re definitely not being unreasonable - I have used tapestry in a childcare setting and all posts/photos should be cleared by the manager before submitting them. If this was me it would be a no-brainier “right we can’t use that one then” and that would be that. The manager really should no better - like others have said its about safeguarding the child’s dignity as well as general safeguarding issues. Also when parents sign the permission for their child to be photographed, I think they would assume this wouldn’t include photos of their child’s pants or anything similar. Definitely bring it up with the nursery.

Looneytune253 · 15/06/2019 15:15

@Wallhanging aggressive comment? All I was pointing out is you can't physically screenshot on tapestry. The app does not allow it. Trust me, I've tried. I'm a childcare provider and I use it regularly 🙄🙄

Limedaiquirialwayslime · 15/06/2019 15:22

You can screenshot from tapestry if you're on the website looneytune

DizzySue · 15/06/2019 15:32

The app doesn't allow screenshots, but you can screenshot if you access the website from a computer.

iMatter · 15/06/2019 15:36

You don't need to screenshot.

You just need a phone or iPad with a camera and you take a picture of the screen on which you are looking at Tapestry.

Easy.

LynetteScavo · 15/06/2019 15:37

Ask them to remove it. I would, and I sent DD to school in summer dresses even though she was allowed shorts.

ThumbWitchesAbroad · 15/06/2019 15:37

Yes, I would ask for it to be taken down as well. I'm actually a little surprised they didn't think of it for themselves and NOT post that particular picture! They should have done.

slt2b · 15/06/2019 15:39

I screenshot from the Tapestry app all the time to send to my ex...

LipstickTaserrr · 15/06/2019 16:02

I screenshot from tapestry on my phone. I'm also surprised about the no trousers thing it's ridiculous. Yanbu to ask for the photo to be removed , if it was your picture on social media put up by someone else there would be no question of you being unreasonable.

LipstickTaserrr · 15/06/2019 16:03

Whether you are being unreasonable**

Bigorangenecklace · 15/06/2019 16:09

I've not read the whole thread, so sorry if I'm repeating others. On tapestry the pictures aren't shared in quite the same way as somewhere like facebook. The practitioner has to upload each photo to each parents account. So it could be that that photo only went to you. It's best to ask before getting upset. Then I'm sure you can withdraw your consent to have your child's photo shared with anyone else.

Thehop · 15/06/2019 16:32

I’m an early years practitioner and wouldn’t share this picture with others.

I’d ask for it to be removed

Maybe cycling shorts?

scousetea · 15/06/2019 17:28

You can screenshot tapestry Hmm