19 year old daughter's drinking

[HildegardCrowe]

19 year old DD is just home from uni. Her first night out and she hasn't come home. I've finally got hold of her and she's crashed at a friend's and sounds really drunk. It's the first time she's not told me where she is. I know she's been drinking too much at uni and doing things she regrets (we have a close relationship and she tells me everything).

AIBU to tell her she needs to go and stay at her dad's (I'm divorced and he lives down the road and she has a great relationship with him) and she can come back if she tries to control her drinking and doesn't do anything like this again? I love her to bits and am really worried about her behaviour.

The fact shes so open with you should be reassuring that she trust you & you can trust her.Sending her away could damage that.I think at 19 it is an over reaction especially when shes had so much freedom at uni and not had anyone to answer to.But also understand your worrys if you've had drinking problems and shes making some bad choices when drunk...and generally not coming home would be a worry for any parent.But she did answer in the end?Not like she came home late the next day with no shame...Sounds like you have a good relationship & I really wouldnt reject her for these small mistakes.She is still so so young.But also be more open with your own worrys & detail your own regrets and mistakes with alcohol to help her gain hindsight before its needed...

I hope you enjoy a spa break, and connecting your dd. I try to remember the old saying with teens, when they least deserve our love is when they most need it.
Self love books, workshops, connecting with and respect for our bodies is a uphill struggle in today’s world of social media and distraction. She sounds like she has the world at her feet, she just needs to open her eyes and see it that way.
We’ve all been there on the self destructive cycle of drinking too much leading to less than happy experiences that undermine our self worth, so we drink to improve our confidence and the same happens again!
Bloody toxic looking back.
Your dd is 19 she can change it, and the world most probably.
Gina Martins new book, a must read