Husband and I have a 5 month old and I’m still on mat leave and he goes out to work every day as a teacher. I know that having a baby can strain a relationship but I just don’t feel wanted anymore. My husband has said he hasn’t bonded with baby and doesn’t think he will until he’s a toddler. But he is spending lots of time away from the house and I don’t feel like he wants to come home to us. 4 out of 7 days this week he’s been late home, arriving pretty much in bedtime for baby, or has had friends over to play card games, pretty much from baby going to bed. I have tried to talk to him about this but it always comes back round to me not doing much socially for myself, and I hate it when he brings it up because I am happy with how social I am he just thinks I should be more social. I’m doing more housework since having baby. He literally comes in and has his dinner then plays games or watches tv. I just want to feel like he wants to come home to be with me, or to be with the baby. He could have been home at about 4:15 tonight, instead he got in at 6:15 just as I was putting baby to bed, because he chose to go to the pub to play games with the same friends who he’ll spend all afternoon/evening playing with tomorrow. A few weeks ago when I brought it up he said he felt like he had lost me because I was always with the baby, so I arranged with his mum to babysit for a few hours while I took him to his favourite burger place. And we were literally out an hour max and he wanted to get home! Even when I explained I was trying to get us some time together he still wanted to come home! He said tonight that I’m grumpy and boring which I understand isn’t nice to come home to but when I’ve had the baby all night and all day and trying to juggle making dinner for an unknown time I get angsty!!!
How can I tackle this?