Taking more time off post maternity

[rainbowgirl80]

I'm a mum to 3dc and was due to return to work in January 3 days per week post maternity. Our company can be quiet after Christmas so they've offered anyone who wants some time off unpaid in January and February. I would really like to take this up as my wages will only pay the childminder and maybe a little extra for treats but with the hours I'll be working and my husband traveling it's been easier having me at home if I'm honest however I like my job and I have decent perks which are an incentive.

I discussed this with my husband and he told me "I'm taking the piss and I've already had time off maternity" (cos maternity is one big holiday) He earns a lot more money than I do but when we met we were on equal salaries. I'm finding it hard to justify just handing my wages over to a childminder. I have been in my job 14 years and worked full time until recently. AIBU to want to be at home a little longer? We are not having any more dc.

For me I think a child is a shared responsibility and childcare costs should be shared or split like any other household expense. So I wouldn't really look at just your wage but the family money (which for tax reasons can be best having 2 earners rather than one high).

My husband did say when I was on maternity leave he felt quite a lot more pressure than he expected, being the sole earner.

I think if youd just decided you wanted some more time off then he might be right, maybe he would like to be home for a bit instead. But in those specific circumstances I dont think YABU to consider it and he IBU to tell you you've been taking the piss.

What, as a family do you stand to gain and lose from you going back 2 months earlier? I'd sit down and go through it all with him. The least he can do is discuss it with you fully

I took some unpaid parental leave at the end of my maternity leave, so with annual leave etc that ended up meaning I could stay at home with my DC until 15 months old. I did it both times.
My DH works FT and earns less than me when I’m working FT, but he was fully supportive as we both thought it was the best thing for our DCs to be with mum as long as possible. We were pretty skint until I went back to work 4 days/week, but have no regrets and we’re both very happy we waited as it meant they were much more ready for childcare.

I would do it. It’s the only chance you will ever have to stay at home a bit longer with your DC whilst they are so little. Time is more important than money.

I also think your husband shouldn’t talk to you like that. Sounds quite mean!

You should both be paying for childcare proportionate to your salary, so if your dh earns more, you should still have a significant amount left after childcare expenses. But you need to sit down and work out the financials for both scenarios. Unless you’ll be destitute otherwise because your dh doesn’t earn enough, it seems silly to not consider it.

I took unpaid mat leave after having my last dc but that’s not the issue here. I don’t see why it’s your wages paying a cm, should be shared.

Your dh was really bloody rude

Will he have a rational discussion?