Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

With my flexi hour request?

35 replies

Yellowskies1988 · 14/06/2019 18:28

Posting here for traffic

Ok so I have a son who goes to special school 1.5 miles from home through town. Were not in the catchment area that offer transport through the school.

My wife doesn't drive but I do.

Our other son starts full time school in September in a school literally over the road from my house.

Wife had huntingtons disease and starting to show symptoms (aching alot, really feeling the cold, dropping things, falling over/poor balance etc)

Currently I work 2 shifts 6-14:00 and 14:00-22:00

I've requested 1 hour each shift to take our autistic son to his school in my car as we only have my grandparents around and my nan can't physically do it every day, no other family are around... was my request unreasonable? Work seemed to throw a number of "work arounds" at me which I suppose from a business point of view they have to, night shift work (which I can't do as my wifes illness i need to keep the kids in routine), look into paying for a taxi and providing a carer, I wouldn't know whom to contact for this but I wont rule it out. Moving our youngest son to a school closer to the special school, which will still involve my wife walking with them.

At the end of the meeting i had today (with my line manager and a member of HR) the HR dept are going to look into it by contacting a kind of union I suppose you would call it and get back to me.

Anybody got any other suggestions etc? My colleagues in my department feel my request could be covered, I've no objection to using the time as my breaks and I know it will go as unpaid.

Only thing I have is my youngest in a before/afterschool club.

OP posts:
MyNewBearTotoro · 14/06/2019 18:35

Do you have a social worker? I know of families who have been awarded transport for children in special schools even if they live out of catchment because you can argue that if you have another child in mainstream it’s impossible to be in two places at once. I would speak to his school and see if there’s definitely no opportunity for transport.

Widowodiw · 14/06/2019 18:35

So are you going to go work and then come out of work for an hour to take your son to school? Have I misunderstood?

TwoBlueFish · 14/06/2019 18:38

Have you appealed school transport? If it’s the closest school that meets his needs and he’s vulnerable then he should be eligible for transport.

hopeishere · 14/06/2019 18:39

I've a son with SN so I sympathise. Are you proposing going in at 6 and then leaving at 8 and be back a 9?

Could your wife learn to drive?

Speak to the school and see if they have any solutions?

Original poster
Yellowskies1988 · 14/06/2019 18:40

@Widowodiw yeah that's correct. It's hardly a hour but in traffic it could be 45mins

@MyNewBearTotoro we dont have a social worker no but I will speak to the school next week to see if and what they can advise for me and what other parents do

OP posts:
stucknoue · 14/06/2019 18:41

If he is at the school named on his ehcp he should get transport, it's worth investigating because your situation is pretty unusual and hopefully it can be added

TitianaTitsling · 14/06/2019 18:42

How will he get back from the school and will you have the opportunity to build up Flexi?

Original poster
Yellowskies1988 · 14/06/2019 18:44

@TwoBlueFish when he got his place we had a letter to state we live to close to be eligible for school transport. Maybe this changes now as our youngest son starts full time, I'll look into that to over next week whilst I'm off.

@hopeishere wife wont learn to drive as her huntingtons disease has started to develope so she wouldn't be safe to do so, I'm proposing 8:30-9:30 and on the other shift 14:55-15:35ish, but asking for a hour because of traffic

OP posts:
eve34 · 14/06/2019 18:47

I echo what others have said. Contact social services. Request a carers assessment for you. An assessment for your wife and your son. I don't know if the lea can offer some flexibility about the transport. But your wife can request support to forfill her parenting role and have someone support her with the school run. It isn't easy but I have had it put in place for other HD families. Also have you contact the HDA for advice/support.

Original poster
Yellowskies1988 · 14/06/2019 18:48

@TitianaTitsling depending on which shift I'll be out of work for the pick up/drop off. The mornings I'll be home to pick up and the afternoons I'll be home to take him in.

@stucknoue yes he is at his school stated on his EHCP how would I go about requesting this to be looked into?

OP posts:
Original poster
Yellowskies1988 · 14/06/2019 18:50

@eve34 I haven't spoken to HDA yet to be honest. I'll contact SS about a carers assessment too. I have a week or so off starting next Thursday, I'll make some calls Monday when I finish work

OP posts:
AllStar14 · 14/06/2019 18:54

Definitely refer yourself to SS, a good social worker will help you figure all of this out. I'm so sorry to hear about your wife's diagnosis, I have many family members with HD :-(

eve34 · 14/06/2019 18:54

@Yellowskies1988 Also have you put in a dla claim for your son and a pip claim for your wife? She can also claim carers if your son get middle/high rate care dla. May not solve the problem but could cover the cost of a taxi for your ds and wife to/from school

LonnyVonnyWilsonFrickett · 14/06/2019 19:19

While you are getting great advice from posters about school transport etc, I don't think your work are handling this properly.

What does your policy on flexible working say? Are there any other policies, eg a carers' policy that could help? They're not really supposed to 'solve' the problem for you - they're only supposed to look at your request in terms of whether the business can accommodate it or not. It's not actually their business why you want flexi-hours. Do you have a union at your work, and are you a member?

TwoBlueFish · 14/06/2019 19:42

You can appeal the school transport, I know several people who were told no due to living too close and appealed and got transport. Asking for a carers assessment is also a really good idea.

MogMogMog · 14/06/2019 20:00

LA SEN officer here. Look on the last but one page of your EHCP and it should have the name of your plan coordinator. Google your LA SEND department (on the local offer) and speak to your plan co. They will tell you if you are eligible and if not, why not.
You can request a SS assessment online too. Your Plan co might be able to help you with this. But strictly their job but many of us have been doing the role for a while and have picked up inside knowledge. Feel free to DM me, if you need any help

MogMogMog · 14/06/2019 20:01

Not

Original poster
Yellowskies1988 · 14/06/2019 21:10

@AllStar14 I'm ready to ring them I'll try them tomorrow but I assume it's a Monday-Friday service on the phone.

@eve34 my son gets middle care, low mobility. It is all saved and banked for him at the minute, using the money for that is something I've thought of. Wife is reducing her hours at work from around 20 per week to 12ish hopefully that will mean she qualifies for carers as she had a PIP claim rejected only today which I'm planning on appealing .

@LonnyVonnyWilsonFrickett that's the main argument of my OP I dont think they have at all helped me, just tried to fob me off with getting me on another shift. They do have a flexi form request to fill in, i was told they will supply me with one then they can consider if possible to to. I've been there 6 years and one of the longer serving employees (probably speaks for itself)

@MogMogMog I will do you if that's ok once I've made my phone calls to ss and chased up the EHCP .

I really do appreciate this advice Smile

OP posts:
LonnyVonnyWilsonFrickett · 15/06/2019 10:02

Yeah, I don't think they're really handling it properly. That said, no harm trying to get transport at the same time as clearly it will make everyone's life easier, but definitely take a look at your policy and make sure they're following it. There's a real blind spot when it comes to men changing their hours for caring responsiblities so I'm not surprised they're stonewalling you.

MrsMiggins37 · 15/06/2019 10:08

This all sounds really tough, I’m so sorry.

What kind of work is it you do? Sometimes it really can be difficult for employers to adjust working patterns if for example it’s something like a factory. I do hope they come up with a decent solution though

I agree with contacting SS and also I hope I am not speaking out of turn but your son’s DLA money will help him better now rather than being squirrelled away.

MyDcAreMarvel · 15/06/2019 10:37

Use the dla money for a taxi at least for now, it’s to meant to meet the current extra costs of your child’s disability.

Isatis · 15/06/2019 10:47

when he got his place we had a letter to state we live to close to be eligible for school transport.

For children with SEN or disability, distance is not a valid criterion: if they are unable to get there by reason of their disability, they are entitled to home to school transport provision. The LA is entitled to take into account whether the child could be expected to walk to school if accompanied (where he is of an age where you would normally expect to accompany the child to school), but this may well not be the case for a child with autism, e.g. if he is liable to be distressed by traffic noise or to run out into the road.

TwoBlueFish · 15/06/2019 10:53

Do be careful about saving the DLA money, it’s really supposed to be used for the additional costs associated with having a child with additional needs. If you’re saving it in the child’s name then it may also impact their ability to claim benefits at a later date. Using it for taxis is a very valid use. Using it for general household expenses so you or your wife can reduce your hours is also valid.

Original poster
Yellowskies1988 · 15/06/2019 11:58

@MrsMiggins37 it's just a production line, we take each other out for breaks etc, basically my request is to allow me to leave site and have my break the same time every day to allow me to do so. We get paid breaks but I understand I'll lose out if I clock off.

@Isatis the letter states that because we are in 1.4 radius of the school then you will be responsible for travel arrangements, although any circumstances can be appealed" so that's what I need to do is contact the number on the letter for that.

Re DLA it's mostly put away for his future but yeah it would go towards a taxi if necessary. I would need to look about getting somebody to ride in the taxi with him

OP posts:
Sooverthemill · 15/06/2019 12:03

It's very hard being a carer for two people. this charity can give advice about how to work with school/education
And this ine can advise and support you as a carer. Social services can also help but sometimes it helps to have an advocate like these charities

Swipe left for the next trending thread