To cancel my MIL childcare for baby2´s birth?

[laraitopbanana]

Hello all,

Just quite ennoyed.

I have never been very closed from my MIL but for the sake of my hubby, so that he can assist the birth of baby 2... I swallowed my best judgements and decided to accept my MIL having baby 1 during the birth.

Now.

There has been a false alert and she was... nowhere to be found. Phone closed when she knew and been warned to be on the look out as due date in a few days. Silent radio for 1h30.
She answered none of my texts and phone calls. She answered only my hubby's.

Then, she shows up and we make plan on how to deal with the hospital sending me back home (only a few centimeters so have to go back when contractions get stronger), stays the night. Meddle in our couple things of course but not the worry. We plan on her staying with me and baby1 so that when contractions get stronger she is already there. Or she can help with baby1 to help me out. All clear and sound.
Next thing I know when my hubby goes to work thinking his mol stays with me. She goes and says she will come back only when contractions are here 😳😑😳😑

AIBU to feel like... whhhaaattt????

I feel she isn't reliable and i want to cancel but then my hubby will miss the birth. 😔

What do you think?

You don’t seem to like each other that much, is there someone else you could ask?

Honestly I try but each time she has an opportunity to do something nice, she just chooses not to.

But this one is big and I am a bit at the end of it.

No, noone else we would both agree on. So we are stuck.

Some childminders might agree to be on call?

You cannot have her do this - you clearly dislike her and I can kind of see why, and it isn;t gonig to work well. Don't have her in your space (especially if 'meddling'!) when you've just given birth. Just DON'T. One step out of line and you will, WILL fall out with her. Keep her away.

noone else we would both agree on.

?

Do you mean to say there technically would be someone else you'd be ok with but your H says no?

This should be your call - you're the one giving birth. So, start point, you no longer agree on MIL and you don't want her around when you are in labour/have just given birth - so no MIL.

New discussion needed where you make it clear that this one is, actually is, 100% - all about you.

Choose your baby sitter and tell OH to mind his own. He lost rights when his mother flaked out.

Thanks all,

My hubby apparently don't see any of it and was apparently happy that she succeed to turn up.
Hey 🤷🏼‍♀️

Oh joy.

Have a friend on standby then next time it happens you can try her once and if she ignores you or her phone is turned off call the friend. Your oh can either object and miss the birth or go with it.

Or if you are ok with your older child being with her then could your older child go to her house?

Honestly I would just go with it. She’s better than your husband missing the birth.

It is just going to add stress at a time when you really don't need it.

I gave birth alone with my second (well the was a midwife) and it was much easier than the first time round.

Is it you’re worried she won’t turn up or that you don’t want her looking after your older one? Do she and your older one get on well together? Will she be well looked after? Because that’s the most important thing really when such a big upheaval is happening.

I'd have someone else on standby and call them only when you have exhausted all options of getting in contact with MIL and it's really time to be leaving

She has been coming for the last few months to spend some alone time with my eldest and there has been some cries but on an overall it went well.

I really thought she was going to be proactive but yes the 1h30 of awaiting is a bit if a struggle.

She is working and mentioned that if she is at this job then she can't look at her phone 😑 yeap... so for two days a week she can't be on the look out but figure this just now. We asked her months ago!!!

So basically, the 1h30 of awaiting could well have been 7h as she works full time this two days.

Yes I think i will go alone and hubby keeps eldest if happenning on these two days but I am wondering to not just cancel as I am frankly upset.

Can you not get a number for her work place?

Is she able to just leave work though if you are in labour?

Do you have anyone else? Try MIL once then call the back up plan immediately

An alternative is you take dc1 with you both, whilst contacting MIL, she meets dh at the hospital then after she has collected dc1 dh comes to be with you

What is the plan if you go into labour while she’s working?

“Yes I think i will go alone and hubby keeps eldest if happenning on these two days but I am wondering to not just cancel as I am frankly upset.”

Don’t cut off your nose to spite your face. Tell her very definitely that she needs to have her phone switched on, work or no work.

Organise a back up- ignore your DH if he objects. But your child will be better off with someone he knows if at all possible.

No-one else you agree on?! But you clearly don't agree on her. So if there's someone you'd rather have there for you, ask them.

If during the day could you 'be with a friend who said they would have dc1 while you get to hospital' already asked by you before to be on standby?

Surely you need a back up anyway if she is possibly working when you go into labour? Or has she agreed with her boss that she can leave at anytime?

I'd see if you can get someone else/ childminder to cover?

So are you saying that you wanted her to stay at yours in case the baby arrived, and no matter how long it took? The baby could be a day late, two days, maybe longer? Surely you would have seriously got on each other's nerves by then?

Best plan if dh can't get hold of her is for you all to go to the hospital, and for her to come and take dc1 as soon as she can be contacted.

Yes the phone from her work is great idea!!

Thanks ladies.

I have terrible baby brain and it affects my logic.