To find my mobile phone overwhelming?

[ghorillaz]

I have a handful of messages, some of which over a week old that I need to reply to.

I'm having a rough time at the moment. Split from my ex who was abusing me. I have a young baby. Recently took out an injunction against my ex due to harassment and further abuse. Had to face him in court which was awful. I'm on anti anxiety medication. I'm exhausted. I'm doing my best

My phone is buzzing. I don't want to answer, or engage. I actually NEED this time to just not talk to anyone. It's a way of coping and conversation doesn't help when I need periods of reflection.

The longer I leave it, the more anxious I feel. I feel I need to explain why I haven't replied, but then I don't want to get in to conversation about my shit.

I'm overwhelmed and not sleeping over text messages.

Does anyone else get this?

And I do understand that people aren't mind readers. I just find technology all a bit much sometimes. I hate being so accessible and the expectation of me to reply instantaneously or at least within 48 hours.

I struggle to even look at my phone atm.

I totally sympathise OP.

Sometimes I find it helpful to draft generic text and send that to everyone. You could mention that you're going to be offline for a while whilst you deal with the injunction.

Or you can keep it very short, something like 'hope you're well. I'm doing ok, just laying low while I'm dealing with ex. Will be in touch xx'.

Is that possible? You could disable your 'last seen online' feature on whatsapp too.

@Antigon I've disabled it. I hate WhatsApp. I hate that people can see when you're online. It's like legal stalking. Generic message sounds like a good idea.

It's too late to text now but will respond in the morning. Tempted to ditch my phone and get a nokia3210

Just swipe away. A basic Nokia will receive texts, too.

Just turn it off.

yeah I feel this way often. in today's society there's such a pressure to be able to be contacted all the time and to reply instantly to everyone.

you could post a facebook status telling people that you're taking time off social media for a bit so that they know to leave you alone

I often feel the same.
No peace, constant pings and beeps, and everything has to be done online.
I really resent it at the best of times, and dread it at the worst of them.

You don't have to answer any texts and you certainly don't have to explain why you haven't. Take your power back and live on your own terms. You don't owe anyone anything.

You can put certain people on iPhone on mute so your phone won’t buzz when they text you, you’ll only read there stuff by going into your iMessages

Maybe make up an excuse and text them saying you’re going away or you’re busy with work and trying to use your phone less and you’ll speak to them when you have less on your plate?

It's so stressful. Most of my friends get it. They're normal people who completely understand that life is tough and they're not owed anything. But I have a couple of people who if I don't contact they harass me.

One family member I didn't respond to her, so she then tried to call me a few times, then messaged me on Instagram, then called me off a different number and left a voicemail which I haven't listened to yet! I'm sure it'll be rude because I haven't responded.

Yep I have this. 137 unread texts messages, I just can't open no matter how hard I try.

@lucymegan it's awful isn't it. It's not that I don't want to reply. I just don't see the need to discuss everything over text. Arrange a date. Meet up. Talk then. But that's not always the case. I find it really hard.

Totally get it. At home we have a little container with a lid on it to put our phones one the way in to the house on evenings and weekends, so that we aren't distracted. I agree I find it stressing with loads of notifications and demands from messages to reply to!

You can disable the "online" thing in Whatsapp.

If I were you, I'd send a message to everyone in your contacts, saying thank you for their message but you just need time to yourself at the moment and will catch up with them in due course. Ask them not to contact you will contact them.

That way, you ease your anxiety over not replying, without having to read any of the messages. And hopefully they'll leave you alone.

Hope things start to improve for you soon

Take control! I get that you're overwhelmed and I feel for you but come on. Just turn off notifications and ignore the messages. If something's genuinely important they'll find a way of letting you know.

You control the tools. Not the other way round. Be more discerning about how you receive information.

I wonder if this is a social anxiety really. The problem isn't so much the phone, it's the feeling that you're letting people down by not responding.

Basically most stuff is of no consequence and people just fire out drivel. They probably don't care that much if you respond or not.

Also, ignore my first message. I didn't read your post properly and didn't appreciate that this is about more than just the title. Take time to look after yourself. You don't owe anyone any explanation at the moment. It's fine to back off.

I have an anxiety disorder and my phone and social Media in general really can lead to massive amounts of unnecessary anxiety.

My family know that i don't "do" phone conversations as a ringing phone strikes terror into my heart. School know to communicate with me via email, unless urgent, for this very reason.

I've had to come off Facebook because it is feeding my anxiety. Only problem is.... I've now replaced it with Mumsnet 🙄 Although I'm enjoying MN currently and trying to stay away from argumentative threads, which is hard because there are so many members raging for a fight over the slightest thing. I've learned the use of the 'Hide' function makes my MN experience less stressful.

As an aside, I work in an office and spend all day on the phone, it doesn't bother me in the slightest beause I pretend I'm someone else!

So, my rambling is to tell you that I get you!

Put it on Do Not Disturb if needed. We lived a long time without the need for mobile phones, a little time away will do you the world of good.

Tempted to ditch my phone and get a nokia3210

Do it!! I can't recommend this enough. I still haven't made the leap to smartphones, and hope I never have to.

My phone is a dinosaur that does calls and texts only. No WhatsApp, Facebook, Instagram, etc. My daughter has WhatsApp: it drives her bananas, pinging away in her pocket all the time.

The only time I get a phone notification is when it's a personal call or text from someone who wants to meet and catch up face to face; it's lovely.

I remember the days before mobiles, when once you were out of the house, you were out of reach, and I miss that freedom. Not having a smartphone makes me feel like I have that freedom again. Really recommend it!

The school are paid for trips, dinners and stuff on an app.
The school newsletter is a pdf; the option to opt out is becoming no longer possible.

My phone is a dinosaur that does calls and texts only. No WhatsApp, Facebook, Instagram, etc. My daughter has WhatsApp: it drives her bananas, pinging away in her pocket all the time

Yes, mine too. It's lovely.

I remember the days before mobiles, when once you were out of the house, you were out of reach, and I miss that freedom. Not having a smartphone makes me feel like I have that freedom again. Really recommend it!

Yes, I love that feeling of knowing that no one can get me when I'm out. I leave my phone behind a lot of the time. I've tried very hard to train people to contact me by email ... I LOVE email.

The school are paid for trips, dinners and stuff on an app.
The school newsletter is a pdf; the option to opt out is becoming no longer possible

Is it possible to get the app for a computer, Old? And can you get the newsletter by email? Or is it really that you just can't get that stuff without a smartphone?

You could 'lose' your phone for a while. Then miraculously find it again when you feel up to engaging with people again.

I dont have a phone at all. Dont feel like I'm missing out or need one. I dont want to be available to everyone 24/7.

I suppose it is; I've not checked, but my computer is really old, and I'm far less confident using it than my phone.

Every day I get text and emails, usually telling me to look on one of the two apps for school, because the school has sent me a message.

At least I can read them 'on the go' because sometimes its 5 or 6 a day!