AIBU to just eat??

[DannyWallace]

Argh!
DH and I have a mutual friend (we both knew him before we met each other).
FWIW were all in our 30s, he's single and often likes to sit and tell us stories about what he's doing-he doesn't quite seem to get hints that he is overstaying his welcome (for example he's done things like "just popping in" on our anniversary just as we're going out. We will be dressed up, putting shoes on, telling him when our reservation is and he will be sitting happily on our sofa. We have to often just say that we're leaving).

Anyway he's just popped in. I've just spent an hour cooking tea-it's ready and not really something I can heat up later. There's definitely not enough for 3 (I said to him when he came in that I was cooking dinner and apologised I hadn't made enough for us all as I didn't know he was coming).
What do I do? He's just sitting there...Do I just serve it up for me and DH or is that really rude?

Just eat it. He sounds like a right nobber.

I'm sorry but you really need to go now. We are eating and there's only enough for two.
Then open the front door and stand by it.

‘Thanks for popping over but I’m afraid I’m going to have to kick you out- we’re about to have dinner’

If he objects, tell him you are heading out after.

If he still objects, ‘I hate to be rude but you really do have to go, dinner is getting cold and we need to eat up and head out.’

You can be forceful without being rude!

Can DH tell him its time to go?

I'd start setting the table and things, and tell him it's ready - and I don't think that there's anything wrong with eating it in front of him if he doesn't take the hint - but I think I'd find it a bit awkward!

If people won't get hints you have to straight out say it. No other way.

I’d suggest that he and your DH go out to the local pub or Chinese to eat, then eat your food in peaceful silence. Save the other half for lunch tomorrow.

'Lovely to see you Fred, that's our dinner ready, so you'll need to be on your way! See you soon!' cheery, big smile, and bustle him out the door!
You're worried about being rude aren't you? He's not. He's being extremely rude just now, so just tell him. Good luck!

Yeah just eat it - he'll sit and watch you though so maybe also say "you better be off now, we're going to eat". Might be time to get a bit rude to him.

Or offer him a cheese toastie and a cup a soup

We'll be having our dinner now, sorry there isn't any for you but you'd be welcome to help yourself to toast if you want to have something while we eat ours

That's really awkward. I'd offer him a sandwich.

I would also have told him nicely to go. But what did you do op?

You'll have to tell him to go. Some people don't care if they're interrupting a meal as in their head they aren't fussed about having any themselves... So that makes it ok.

Just chase him.

My DF does this! He’ll hang around regaling us all and being served drinks all through dinner being dished up and eaten, through the whole bedtime routine with three overtired preschoolers, and once (this is genuinely true!) through a rapidly progressing labour with DC3!

He doesn’t mean to, he just doesn’t get the hint. I tell him straight now when it’s time to go. I think you need to do the same.

So, I came through to the living room and just said that's tea ready and looked at him.
He then stood up (brilliant) and then followed me back to the kitchen to tell me about his next holiday.

I just served the food up and after we started eating he then started to get ready. Still took about 5 minutes to actually leave though as apparently the cat wanted him to stay...

We had a friend like this, OP. He died last year after a car accident and you know what? We really miss him popping in, even if he was oblivious to how rude he was :(

@WhiteRedRose ah that's so sad.

He is a really good guy. He's just quite socially awkward and long term single, so I think he comes here as he probably doesn't have many other people to share exciting news with. I honestly believe he doesn't have a bad bone in his body...he's just sometimes not too aware or things x

@WhiteRedRose so sorry for your loss

I'd always feed anyone who popped in. But i'd never pop in because I get it.