Sexual harassment

[Hidingbehindclouds]

I'm a female student and was paired with a male health professional to observe his patient load/his role.

I was alone with him between patients, and he spent this time talking about females, various intimate situations, how he disliked breast implants, preferred real women with real bodies. Talked looking at my chest. Was totally dismissive of certain cultures and of patients not from the UK originally. He also swore at one patient who had said something in another language which had obviously riled him.

After examining a patient, he pointed out the muscle group near my shoulder, then took it upon himself to move behind my chair, and put his hands down the neck of my uniform, and massage my shoulder on my skin. He pointed out it would be easier if my tunic was undone.

I moved forward, and I pointed out it wasn't appropriate, and I would hate for a patient or staff to walk in in an attempt to get him to come to his senses. He asked if I had a partner that could do it. I declined to answer.

I mentioned this about a week later to someone I work with who told me to report it. I have, and now it looks like this man will be fired.

I feel nervous and sick. I can't sleep. I am terrified everyone will hate me and he will call me a liar and they will believe him.

Should I have kept my mouth shut? Help.

2 of my friends were sexually abused as patients, maybe staff noticed and didn’t say anything. You did the right thing and it’s unlikely your the first person he has done it too

You were right to report the man, his behaviour was inappropriate - or downright wrong!

Power to you girl.

Please don't second guess yourself, you absolutely did the right thing.

His behaviour sounds appalling.

You absolutely did the right thing and you've not only protected other students from him but patients too. Please don't feel bad about it and make good use of uni support and supervision.

You did a good thing

Many woman suffer needlessly and they get away with their behaviour.

That’s one less for the world to worry about

Should I have kept my mouth shut? Help.

No. You were brave and you did exactly the right thing. Your ethics are faultless and it looks as if what you've done will remove this unpleasant man from patient care. He shouldn't be in his job. He deserves to be fired. It sounds really clear cut, and whoever you told clearly thinks so.

How many other women have you protected by your courage in speaking out? Think of that and feel proud of yourself.

You are very brave and you did exactly what you needed to do to protect yourself, other members of staff, and your patients. Well done

Well done OP. That was incredibly brave of you. Incredibly.

We need people like you reporting this inappropriate behaviour to keep patients and staff safe.

You absolutely did the right thing OP. It is sexual harrassment and obviously totally inappropriate. As a PP said, you may not be the first he does it to, or the last. If he loses his job, he has no one to blame but himself.

Thank you for reporting it. Far too many men get away with this shit.

You did the right thing. He could continue to treat colleagues/patients in this way.

It's likely he's been reported before & this was the final straw so he'll be fired & rightly so. You don't know what else has been going on or reported about him.

You have absolutely don’t the right thing, and you have most likely protected vulnerable people as a result. You should feel brave and strong and proud

*done not don’t!

Well done, OP. Absolutely the right thing to do. It's the reaction I think everyone would like to have, but when it comes to it it's actually much harder that we may have thought, so I think you're very brave

Kudos to you OP. I'm sick and tired of women having to field this shit day in, day out, in public and in the workplace. I've been you. And I did report the SOB, and he was fired. Good. Your harrasser had access to vulnerable patients; mine had access to vulnerable students. There is no way either of these creeps should still be in post: we owed these people that.

I shan't lie. A huge difficulty for me was the aftermath, in that people would rather believe that their wonderful male colleagues are incapable of such conduct and therefore it must be the woman who was lying. I was the one who didn't want to hold my head up in public, despite the fact that I'd done nothing wrong. And it gets better, and I promise you, you WILL hold your head high and be glad you asserted your own boundaries. You have a right not to be subjected to harrassment in the workplace. And if certain idiots who inhabit that work place would rather take the side of a sex-pest then you know something? They're the sort of person I'd cross the street in front of a speeding bus to avoid.

Believe me; you will maintain your dignity through this and in any case nobody ever respects a doormat who allows themselves to be walked over, mistreated and abused. And who knows? In the future, if women like you and me continue to challenge these toxic, ingrained attitudes, maybe one day they will change.

Glad you had the courage to report this

Well done OP, if we are not part of the solution we are part of the problem. I hope I can do the same if I was ever in this situation.
Thank you.

You did the right thing. Patients often feel very vulnerable (because they're ill) and like they can't complain (various reasons including the NHS being free at the point of use, not being sure of being believed, fear that they might not be treated as well in future if they're perceived as difficult).

His attitudes and behaviour would have seriously impacted on his ability to treat patients with respect and compassion. Thank God he's gone.

If you were my colleague I’d be so, so proud of you.

Well done OP - you've protected not just yourself but other staff and patients too.

Good on you, as a Physiotherapiist he will be hauled over hot coals by the HCPC. It is so important that you speak out against this as sexual abuse is wrong and I can guarantee that you are not the first. As a profession that relies heavily on physical contact and touch in quite intimate places it is often difficult for the abused person to figure out if this is sexual harassment or not as this is often passed off as treatment or assessment. Obviously as a student you have some knowledge of what is appropriate and what is not. You did the right thing saved a lot of his future patients from his horrible wandering hands. Speak to your practice/ fieldwork supervisor too and make sure you have a documented conversation. Well done you brave person.

Thank you all, so much. Turns out he was off work sick today so I'm still waiting to see what happens. All of your lovely words have helped calm my nerves a little. I can only hope I don't end up as enemy no. 1 in my workplace. Thank you, so much

I am sure for many women in your workplace, present, past or future, you may be unsung hero no 1 rather than enemy no 1. And those who think what you did makes you an enemy, what have they to hide?

And those who think what you did makes you an enemy, what have they to hide?

I often wonder this. Who stands to gain from the current status quo being maintained precisely as it is? When women are perpetually abused and suffer in silence while perpetrators get off scot free and have carte blanche to continue that behaviour, who benefits from that?

If certain men took that position, it would be pretty easy to determine exactly what kind of men they are. But plenty of women also do it. (I.e. #MeToo - those speaking out should be quiet, or others should challenge their motivation for speaking about historic abuse).

What would ANY woman stand to gain from this? I'm genuinely baffled.