To open this can of worms

[Honeybee27]

I have reason to believe my ex partner and ds's dad has a child from a very brief fling with a woman he was seeing before we got together. She contacted him during our relationship to tell him she'd had a baby and there was a chance it was just his. He chose to ignore it and has never found out for sure or had any contact with her or the child since. I didn't think this was the right thing to do but he was adamant he didn't want involvement and 'it probably wasn't his anyway'.

When my ds was born I started wondering about this other child two years older than him. What if he runs into her one day? Does he have a right to know he has a half sibling?We are now ten years on, my ex is remarried with another two kids with his wife and we all get on pretty well. I don't think his wife knows anything about the other child.

Now we are no longer together I don't want to rock the boat or stir up trouble in their relationship but i do often wonder about this child and implications of ds having a half sibling he knows nothing about. The chances of him running into her are slim as they live in another town but it's not impossible. It's not really my business but could affect ds. It's also never been officially proven she is ex's bio child but I have seen photos on fb and she looks very much like him.

Do I just keep quiet?

If you have a good relationship with ex then I would talk to him and explain what you've said here, it's not just your decision to make, it's a massive risk to take of you get on so well for a child that may not even be his

She contacted him during our relationship to tell him she'd had a baby and there was a chance it was just his.

A chance? so she was sleeping with multiple men if she doesnt know who the father is. Perhaps shes found the father.

The other mother may well have moved on with her life, be in a stable relationship OR a completely volatile relationship and you are considering rocking her boat.

Tell your DS by all means, but when he's old enough to take charge of the information himself and use it appropriately.

Oh I have no intention of wanting ex or ds to contact her or anything like that. I just feel like ds should maybe be aware. Consider the possibility of him running into her in later life and starting a relationship or something crazy like that (sounds like a bloody emmerdale storyline but it's not impossible!)

But in telling ds he will probably ask his dad about it and then it'll all come out anyway. I know my ex wouldn't want him knowing so it's a tricky one.

Your son is only 10 - I wouldn't be giving him this information at this stage of his life. Whether he has or hasn't got a "maybe" half sister isn't going to have any effect on his life at the moment, and imho it would only confuse him. You're right that he would immediately ask his father about this , which would lead to some stress , I'd imagine, considering that your ex wanted nothing to do with this at the time he found out.

It might be preying on your mind, but nobody else seems to be worried about it so I'd suggest just leaving it alone. If you want your DS to know, wait until he is older and can deal with things like this.