to ask for tips for fussy eater children?

[Vittoriosa]

I have two ds aged 4 and 6 who are both incredibly fussy eaters. Annoyingly, they both like very little in common also. DS1 exists on mostly beige food (pizza, chicken nuggets, fish fingers) as well as tuna and sausages. DS2 really only likes pasta, noodles, pizza or sausages. I have tried in the past to encourage them to try other food with no success. DS1 gagged so much the last time I asked him to try pasta that he made himself vomit. Essentially, most nights I am making food that I know they will like (quite often 2 different dinners) and it is less healthy than I would like/ very little veg intake. AIBU to ask for help with others who have been through this and have very fussy eaters? I am aware I have facilitated this and I am keen to make a change, so please don’t flame me! I would be keen to have some suggestions of simple healthy recipes that your fussy children eat and any tips for dealing with this issue without making dinnertime hell!

I'm a fussy eater, wouldn't eat veges as a kid because mum overcooked the arse out of them and they were soggy mush.

Get them involved in picking recipes and helping with the cooking. If they've chosen and contributed to it they're more likely to at least try. My friends child also had a phobia about food touching, so consider one of those plates with sections in it. Also depending on their age sticker charts for trying new foods even if they don't like them should be encouraged

Hi I had a very fussy child . Nuggests potato smiles, white bread etc. I worried he’d be hungry so gave him what he would eat. However did put him on school dinners . Which he ate little of to start. Then for dinner would expand it out . Slowly as in sausage with smiles . Nuggets with jacket . And if not eaten no fuss made but no alternative offered. He’s now older but a really good eater. It didn’t take long to make really good progress, within weeks he was eating better.

Mines is the same. Chips, nuggets, fish fingers, pizza, chips, chips, chips and an occasional egg.

I just make him what he will eat. I've tried him with loads of different stuff but he won't budge.

I make sure he has fruit to make up for the lack of veg and I'm assuming he will come around to veg when he is older like I did.

The advice is always to let them help choose the meal and cook the meal which I know certainly would not work for my DS.

I'm the same....I have 2 older kids and they eat better than we they were little... 2 younger so fussy....I Know as they get older they will eat better. But sometimes if they are hungry they see what daddy is eating and will eat his dinner.. or a distraction of you tube can work to shovel anything in ... with gravy on top. Such effort just to feed them! 🙄

There are a couple of things you can do.

First take the pressure off and don’t let it be a battleground, serve up new foods you’d like them to try but always make sure there is something familiar you know they will eat as well. Try putting bowls out so they can serve themselves. Then let them get on with it.

Try different formats - cooked and raw vegetables, fruit in smoothies as well as whole etc. Sometimes texture is the big thing. Encourage them to cook and pick food so they get more interested in it and it feels more familiar when it arrives on the table.

Role model good habits and get others to do the same. Rather than make them feel under pressure to try foods, just lead by example.

I'm going to start by saying my DD is younger than both your children so I certainly don't have all the answers but what has certainly worked for us is taking the pressure off as SlackerMum suggested.

I bought the book 'Getting your little blighters to eat' and it focuses on offering them meals with absolutely no pressure to eat the food. As the adults, we are in charge of what they are offered so we do not make a habit of giving them what they ask for BUT we do not ask them to eat it. They are solely in charge of what does and doesn't go in their mouth. It is much easier said than done but persevering does get you results. It takes time for them to start to try new things and takes a lot of resistance not to comment when they finally do but taking away the pressure and family meals have definitely worked for the better in our house

Make fruit milkshakes to get yoghurt/fruit/berries/milk into them. Add chocolate if necessary.

Consider texture. Raw carrots, for example, might be more acceptable than cooked.

Feed them 90% what they want plus small side portions of a vegetable or salad food. Praise them for trying a new thing but don't make a fuss if they reject or ignore it.

Be very, very patient .

OP there's a book called "French kids eat everything" which is an interesting read. My daughter was naturally fussy (and would just vomit) but I've just never given her anything unhealthy / processed (and I know some friends thought I was a bit mad but it was so important to me) but it has paid dividends and she's now a brilliant eater and will eat absolutely anything. Maybe go cold turkey (excuse the pun!). It is really difficult though. Good luck.

I also agree with SlackerMum on role modelling - we sit down to eat together and they see me eat exactly the same as what is in their plate. They never see me scoff my face with junk either (not saying it doesn't happen - just never in front of them!)

My dd was very very difficult between the ages of 2 and 10 but now at 14 her diet is better than the rest of us. Few things we did
Relax, don’t make mealtimes a battlefield
Put food in bowls on the table and let them choose what to put on their plates
Reward for trying new things but don’t ever punish
Don’t go cold turkey, didn’t work and just upset everyone
Toast and fruit only a snacks if the meal isn’t eaten
If their diet is balanced don’t worry about variety
Try different ways of cooking, dd would eat raw carrots and broccoli but not cooked.

Thanks for the suggestions so far, it’s really useful to know I’m not alone in this! I will definitely try putting the food in bowls for them to help themselves and I like the idea of serving 90% of what they definitely like and rewarding them if they try the 10%.

Will try a sticker chart also 🤞🏻

I heard a brilliant dietitian on the radio years ago when DS was small (and a fussy eater).
She had two tips.. Firstly, re veg, let them serve themselves salad etc. but tell them they should try to have something of each colour- ie. you've got red tomato and green cucumber but what about something orange etc. etc. This tactic worked amazingly well.
Secondly, she said to tell your DC that if they have a particular sport or activity that they love, that if they eat say potato, pasta, peas etc. then that will make them stronger and better at whatever that activity happens to be.
First tip worked brilliantly with DS. Second one- not sure as he wasn't into anything in particular. Hope that is of some help.

Are they in school - having school lunches? If so, what are they eating there?

I'd second the advice to take the pressure RIGHT off.. and by that I mean not even asking 'would you like to try' or 'if you have a bite of that you can have...'.. etc.

Plate up stuff they will eat.

Put a couple of other things you think they might eat on the table (not on the same plate!) where they can get it if they want it.

Leave it at that. Say nothing, don't even comment if they try the new thing unless they bring that up.

Ensure that in general they see you eating a wide variety of foods, never have battles or rows over food, do try to involve them in selecting food to buy and to cook.

I think the time to play games with colours and new ideas is in the supermarket or even when cooking meals, NOT at the table, at least until your child is actually willing to try - that way you keep the table calm and stress free.

Widdin- the colours really did work with DS (he's now 18 and still eats a huge salad most days).
I was surprised when I tried it as I wasn't expecting it to work but it was brilliant (in fact, I owned up to him that it was a tactic years later and he thought it was quite funny that he had complied).
But I do agree that if it doesn't work, definitely best not to push it.

My advice is give up. I had a fussy child. Now a fussy teenager although slightly better than when a toddler. I've given in now and when it's someone I know DS just doesn't like (anything with mince in for example) i make him something else. Probably others will disagree but my DH and I have had so many 'rows' over DS fussiness at the dinner table that if I could do it all again I would have just given in and given him what I knew he would eat.

i managed to get each of them to try three spoonfuls of sweetcorn each tonight...hurrah! I admit I bribed them with tablet time so I now I have something else to feel guilty about 😂 I won’t make a habit of that though. I think I might try sweet potato next. They claimed not to like the sweetcorn but neither gagged so I will take that as a win 😂

No advice as I’m in the same boat, I’ll be following your post closely!!

If it’s any consolation though, I didn’t eat veg until I was in my twenties, I was horrifically fussy. Now I’ll eat nearly anything apart from sea food, cucumber and mushrooms! Oh and beans 😷

DD is fab, will eat and try most things, although her veg is limited to carrots and sweet corn.

DS is a nightmare, lives on bread, toast, cereal. Meat is restricted to ham and sausages.
No veg, but will gorge on fruit. He won’t eat chips, pasta, potatoes.

When I took him to a dietician she reassured me that while he does not have much variety, his diet is not ‘that’ bad and he’ll be fine 😂

I am a cm . The most challenging child I had in terms of food mum never ate any fruit or vegetables . So ensure your dc see you eat it.

I watched how to eat well for less sure it was last week . Mum was cooking separate meals for 3 kids but made steps forward . Maybe worth a watch

No advice either, but you're making me feel much better about DD(6).

She has school lunches; they are allowed plain pasta/rice, so she has that if she doesn't like what's on offer.

She has strawberries every day because it's the only fruit she'll reliably eat.

She will help prepare food (including touching it), but absolutely refuse to eat it.

We give her food she'll eat, because when I've asked on here, those who were fussy as children say they absolutely hated meal time battles, and it didn't make them any keener on eating new foods.

OP, you have my sympathy!

As previous posters have suggested you have to have a lot of patience and bite your tongue a lot! I have a 6 and 3 year old. Eldest is a great eater. Youngest is ok but has tested us the most. If she's not hungry due to a late snack at the childminder then i may as well not bother. Took a while to figure that out though! She's better now, but it did, and still does mean we have to be prepared to send her to bed having not eaten dinner. I prepare 1 evening meal and serve it without comment. She will sometimes ask what's for pudding and i usually say nothing for pudding tonight. It is working though. Sometimes she will muck around amd be the last to start but she does eventually. She might not try everything but we have seen an improvement by basically serving dinner without comment and on a take it or leave it basis. My only rule is that if she's 'finished' she still has to sit at the table and wait for everyone to finish. That usually results in her getting bored and eating.

My son was a fussy eater but we just started feeding him what we had with no alternatives and eventually He just started eating it, it’s a hard approach for a parent and cause me sleepless night but remember they’re not going to starve and eventually they will start eating. He’s a fantastic eater now.

Are you sure they dont have sensory issues. My ds 3 is exactly the same. It really got so bad that his diet was made up completely of unhealthy, processed food. The OT at his nursery did an assessment and found out that he has so many sensory issues and affected his ability to eat food. She has been working with him for a few months now and its helped so much. Hes eating veggies and willing to at least try new foods.