Poorly daughter

[Ifeelreallylow]

More of a WIBU, to ask my ex husband to let our daughter stay at home this weekend.
She's been off school since Tuesday, she's still vomiting. Going to gp today as she can't keep fluid down.
She's due to go to her dads this weekend. He's a bastard who isn't kind to her anyway.
I doubt that he will allow her to stay here with me, and the court order doesn't say anything about compassionate changes, but my barrister told me it's standard practice.

If he does agree, by some miracle, should I let my son go anyway? He's 4 and fine. I can't really agree to switch weekends as we have loads of plans on 'my' weekends coming up.

Would it be unreasonable of me to ask him to let her stay home?

Don’t ask him op, tell him. Just be very matter of fact about it. She’s very poorly, she is staying in bed at home this weekend. Let your 4 year old son go if he’s fine.
What’s ex going to do? Go to court over one weekend? It’s not all about ‘his access’ it’s about her wellbeing, and unfortunately this weekend she is too poorly to go out.
I am more concerned about you saying he is not kind to her... what do you mean by that?

If you think he would say no to her staying with you just to spite you I would text him and say she is unwell and vomiting and ask if he would still like her to go. Let him make the decision and he will probably decline! No reason for the 4yo not to go though.

Don’t ask him.

Tell him she’s very ill and will not be leaving her bed because every time she does, she vomits and that DS appears to be coming down with it too.

Don’t let him in, if he turns up intimidating you, call the police. Access isn’t for the police to sort out, but abuse is.

I’d leave it until a couple of hours before he’s due to collect them to tell him though.

Can you go back to court if he’s unkind to her? Poor kids.

You are not being unreasonable at all but I wouldn't as, has been suggested by a previous post, lie to him either. The 4 year old isn't ill and should go although you could give your ex the opportunity to pass on the weekend under the circumstances. It isn't unreasonable at all to simply explain to him what the problem is and that you can't be sure whether 4 year old may go down with the same as often happens. If he still wants time with the 4 year then it should happen. The children are not pawns in a game after all and facts are facts. If you play by the rules then if the going does get tough and you did have to resort to law then you will have nothing to hide. Hope your daughter gets getter quickly and you resolve this without fall out for the children's sake.