Have I made a mistake? Nursery/recpetion

[Bugsymalonemumof2]

My dd is 4 and starts school in September. She struggles socially so I have never sent her to a nursery or preschool and instead she has remained with her childminders with the same 4 children for the past 3 years. Went to our parents evening last night and it has hit me how new it will all be.

Was I being unreasonable to not have used nursery and will she be at disadvantage? :(

My children have always gone to childminders from the age of 10 months.

When my oldest son was 3.5 I took him out of the childminder setting any transferred him to a nursery because I thought it was important he got used to a formalised setting before starting school.

However, although he really loved it there, his behaviour deteriorated and I pulled him out after 4 months and put him back with a childminder.

When I would pick him up from the nursery there would be kids EVERYWHERE, they would he running round like crazy with only four staff. It was mayhem.

I appreciate this is very nursery dependent though and I think I'd just had bad luck with the one I had chosen.

Anyhow - my eldest is now 10 months into his first year of school and is thriving.

He loved it from the start and being with childminders for four years (bar the nursery stint) had no negative impact on him at all.

OP, her ‘eligibility’ for an EHCP isn’t cast in stone. It may be that if she doesn’t settle well in reception you might need to push again for an EHCP and don’t be fobbed off. They cost the LA money so they are often reluctant to assess.

Hopefully she’ll be fine, though.

“90 kids is massive by the way!”

My son’s school is a 3 form intake (90 children) and has free flow inside and out in Reception. It sounds massive but they seem to manage things very well (3 teachers and 3 TAs plus any 1-to-1 support for SEN).

It's not worth worrying about what you have or have not done. The issue is what is going to happen going forward. You really need to get hold of the Senco at school to share information. Whose SEN register is she on at the moment? Have they given information to the school as part of the transition process? Give any reports from outside agencies to the school - medics / OT/ speech therapy. Good luck.

@Bexylou7 She is on the LA SEN register.

I'm definitely daunted by the 90 kids but when we visited mid session it definitely didn't seem like there were 90.

Have just rung the school and we are going to do a meeting. Meanwhile DD woke up sobbing about school. I know she will be fine when she gets there but she doesn't do anticipation or transitions very well

@IceRebel as a former reception class Nursery nurse I can confirm that school do have them, well schools in my area.

I can confirm that school do have them

Schools who have a dedicated nursery nurse in reception must be very few and far between, for most schools there isn't enough in the budget for such a niche role. I'm please some schools were able to benefit from staff members like yourself, but the Op has already confirmed this is not the case for her daughters school.

OP does school do a transition week? We have ours end of June, all new to school starters are welcome too. It isn't full days, just in the other classroom with the other teachers

When did she turn 4? If she's a summerborn (April-August) she doesn't have to start Reception until next year, so could attend a nursery in September instead.

Oh just seen she's 5 in November. Summerborn rules don't apply then.

OP when you meet with school, could you ask for the SENCo to be there, too? That way you'll all know what's happening and how they can help her transition.

We have children start each September who come from all kinds of settings who can struggle; there's no cure-all, so sending her to a more formal nursery may not have altered anything (and if she was happy and settled at the child minder I don't think many parents would have moved her) so don't beat yourself up over what might happen. The Teacher, TA and SENCo will work together to try and put support in place for your DD and truly, the more they know her the better the support can be tailored.

Your DD might not want or need this but when DS1 (who has ASD) began Reception we took him shopping for uniform very early on so that he had time to transition to it. He wore it to nursery for the final few months of the summer term before he began school and I've no idea why but it helped him no end.

And remember, even those of us who have been in these setting with each other for two years already will still have kids crying and screaming those first few weeks, they'll still have meltdowns after a few hours cos they're tired and fed up, we'll still be questioning if we could have done something different or better xx

DC1 went straight from childminder’s to reception. Like a PP we tried nursery, but the noise level and activity level were just too much for him.
He took a long old while to settle into school, but that would have been the case whatever pre-school experience he’d had. At least with the CM we knew he was happy and nurtured.
So don’t beat yourself up OP! You’ve made the best choices for the best reasons and will support your DD in the challenge of the next step

OP, my child also needs a lot of structure around transitions and change. We found the Janet and Allan Ahlberg book "Starting School" really invaluable, and he still asks to be read it at least once a week. It's particularly good at explaining the way that the time will work - it doesn't just deal with the first day but the whole of the first term. You may find that helps her to picture how things will be.

Thank you. Have a meeting next Thursday with senco and the head. What sorts ofnl things should I be asking? Feel completely out of my depth