AIBU to want a holiday?

[justponderinglife]

I really want to go on holiday but DH is not keen. We haven't been away since before our DS was born and I'm yearning for a break in the sun. I wouldn't mind a cheap and cheerful break somewhere (UK or Europe) but DH thinks this is being frivolous and we should use any money towards more home improvements (we have a money pit of a house!).

We both work part-time at present but will be increasing hours soon so will have increased household income. Will also qualify for childcare funding soon next year. So while things are tight things, the pressure will ease soon.

We split all household costs 50/50. We have credit card debt (from essential home improvements) but this is being paid off on a 0% interest card so is manageable. We don't have savings.

AIBU to want to book a cheapish family break?

Go diring term time while he’s not at school
Look on sky scanner for the cheapest deals on flight
Camping or caravans are cheaper than hotels and there are some great sites

And just to add holiday memories and really special and worth having during tough times

How are you intending on paying for it??

Rach, yes we do sound like we’re in a similar boat. We’re cash poor right now but have a good amount of equity in the home. Obviously that doesn’t help matters with my longed-for holiday fund though!

We’re paying off the CC with direct debit each month and will do a balance transfer when the 0% deal runs out. I don’t like having this debt of course, but in a way, I’ve come to view it as an extension of our mortgage (but will be dealt with quicker). We’ll increase the repayments when our income increases soon.

When I say we’ve no savings, we do have the ability to squirrel away money each month (it’s just that each time we’ve built up the pot we’ve chosen to spend it on the house).

On balance, I don’t think it would be beyond the pale to consider a holiday next year, while acknowledging that it’s not the soundest financial decision!

Of course it's not U, however, as you're both working only p/t and have other priorities I can see your DH's point. We could only afford to go on holiday regularly again once I was back full time and youngest was 3 (funded hours). We had one holiday in 7 years prior to that. It's just a difficult time with high childcare costs and lower wages if working part time. We go twice a year now kids are in school though!

I'd definitely book something

It's both your money not just his

Misery DHs can FTFO

It's very easy to get a really cheap week somewhere in say June, off season

This week for example I saw plenty of deals less than £200pp.

Put your foot down, insist. It's not all about him and it sounds like you need this.

I think memories are important for children and I'm sure your son would love a holiday!! Rather than an expensive holiday I'd look to book a cheap weekend away in a caravan maybe through the sun holidays. You could do this for probably less than £100 as your son isn't in school so you can choose dates outside of term time. You can also choose the parks where they are just £15 each with no extras which will make is cheaper.

Book it! A cheapish Canvas or Eurocamp tent or caravan in France would be lovely and not break the bank.

Getting away -especially from a stressful Money pit house is essential for sanity. The house will be there when you get back.
Set a budget, stick to it. You'd spend money on food anyway and if you self cater it'll be cheap as chips. And you can get a lot of chilps for your euro on a french campsite. 😬

Do it. Keep your sanity. Treasure your children's childhood Live your life , don't be a slave to the house. You own it- not the other way around

OP- I think you know that going on holiday whilst having a young child and no savings is silly and a bit irresponsible.

Whilst none of your current home improvements are urgent it’s important to have some savings incase the boiler breaks or car stops working...etc.

Atm any urgent issues would have to go on the credit card which just leaves you paying off more monthly and for for longer than you currently are.

YANBU to WANT a holiday but YABU to have one right now.

If you want to book for next summer then go ahead but when people say ‘because we’ll have savings by then’ I always think 🤔🙄
I grew up in a house where my parents were always talking about how much they’d have saved by X date....but we never ever did! Regardless of the new jobs or sudden windfalls they thought would make a difference we never stopped struggling.

Debts and no savings?

You can’t afford a holiday abroad IMO.

Also, sounds like DS is very young, so wouldn’t miss not going.

I wouldn't spend money on a holiday when you both work part time and have a poor financial position.
All very well to say things will be better next year, but what if they aren't? Get your finances on a better footing, then book the holiday.

Interesting to see the range of views on this! I’m not talking about the prospect of luxury holiday, if that makes a difference, just a break.

Of course I don’t know what will be around that corner but I’m optimistic we will start to balance the books from next year.

Winter sun holidays are expensive. I'd just look at a cheap AI in Europe somewhere, out of school holidays.
You can afford it if you delay your home improvements for a while. It's not as if you don't have spare money reach month.

Why don't you just start popping some money aside to plan a holiday in a year or so? The planning is half the fun IMO.

Even something like £1000 for a week is more than you can afford IMO when you have debt and no savings.

The range of opinions are due to people being a mixture of risk takers and those who take a more measured approach.

Clearly you are a risk taker, and your DH is being more measured, which is why you disagree.

Your future better financial permission is based on

• you getting a 4 days a week job
• DH getting a FT job
• your child getting 30 free hours (you may not be able to find a provider that offers it)
• you getting a 0% balance transfer to another credit card
• no unexpected expenses (e.g. car problems, essential home maintenance, fridge breaking down ...)

Added to which your child is 2.5 so any holiday will still be hard work!

Those who are risk takers are saying "that will all be fine, of course you deserve a holiday; your DH is just being miserable"

Those who take a more measured approach are thinking that there is a lot that could go wrong, and you'd be better to wait till when things were financially better than crossing your fingers and hoping they will be.

Everyone here makes valid points.

Yes, it's true that I am more of a risk-taker than DH. He is 'spendy' in his own way, he just prioritises different things. He wants higher end stuff for the house than I do. Whereas I think it would be fine to have more basic/mid-range stuff and have more money for nice experiences.

Just to clarify that the increase in hours at work for DH and I are in progress with our present jobs (not subject to securing new jobs) and the local childcare providers I've shortlisted for DS are able to provide the funded hours. I also receive provision from my employer for childcare costs.

Not saying all that justifies my desire for a holiday but our financial situation is perhaps not quite as precarious as it seems. Though granted, currently there is very little in the pot.

I'm going to set up a holiday fund now! :)

Basic/mid range household stuff is absolutely fine. There's some lovely stuff in Ikea, Dunelm, Wilkisons and supermarkets. Expensive versions often don't look any more durable or 'nicer' so feel like a waste of money to be honest.

Definitely go on holiday as much as you possibly can while you can go in term time and it's not as expensive.

I'd be looking at a last minute break sometime within the next month if you can get time off work, or in September or October this year if that's easier.

Instead of a holiday abroad, how about going away for a night or two in the UK? Your DS won’t care if the sand on the beach is in Bournemouth or Benidorm and it would be cheaper.

We've got old sofas, old kitchen, old boiler, things that are falling apart but we have a break every year, sometimes just camping. It's our priority. I want our kids to remember experiences and treasured memories from holidays. When the kids have flown the nest then we can have a nice home.

Yes, this is also my view on things...of course it would be good to have nice stuff, but to me they're not as important as experiences and memories I think! We bought some nice items for the house, but they're already a bit wrecked because we're clumsy and our DS is, well, a toddler. But DH has expensive taste...

Sigh, I know, I know, we want it all! Anyway, in terms of the future holiday - I'd be over the moon with a short Centre Parcs break but it doesn't seem to be great value for money compared to a package holiday.

But why should your DH get his own way all the time?

Seeing as you don't have passports, a Center Parcs break in term time would be a good compromise. You could go to your nearest one and take lots of easy to prepare food so you still get a break, but don't have to eat out all the time.

If you don't spend too much on extra activities and just use the pool, nature walks, playground etc, it shouldn't cost that much. If you look in the autumn breaks section under special offers, you can go Monday to Friday for about £400.

For a cheap holiday/break look at Premier inn's we've had several breaks very cheap. I have got £29 a night for family rooms. We are staying near London(outskirts) for £45 a family room in August. Camping, once you get equipment is very cheap. We've done one abroad holiday, a Eurocamp one. £300 accomodation £300 flights to Italy. £600 is the most expensive holiday we've ever been to. Had a caravan holiday in SW for £300 for week in Aug. Breaks don't have to be expensive.