Separated from ExH for 10 years, divorced 4. Only finally getting the pension sharing sorted via a consent order. Three kids 17, 14 and 10 (eldest asd/adhd).
I work part time and am also at uni with a view to working full time on completion. Tried working full time previously but as a single parent with no family around, it proved too much and I had to go back to part time. Kids with him one night a fortnight (his choice). Never sees them/contacts them during the week.
Relationship has been cordial enough I think apart from a few cross words concerning his gf overstepping boundaries (calling eldest fucking selfish/telling youngest we've got bedbugs/being heard by my kids slagging me off to my ex mil etc) which I have felt were unacceptable. Eldest refused to see his dad for 3 months after the gf screaming at him. I have always tried to facilitate a relationship between them. Until December our relationship was relatively cordial until my exDp sent him a malicious letter telling him all sorts of rubbish about me as part of a Nasty smear campaign by exDP after I went NC with him. ExDp was convicted of harassment as a direct result of this letter and other actions and has a restraining order.
ExH reported me to social services because of what was in the letter even though I warned him exDp was on the war path. SS were not interested and knew it was malicious but since then relationship with ExH has suffered.
I was hurt and angry that he reported me to SS and got v upset with him and recognise I didn't handle it well (I shouted at him in front of kids) and have apologised as I should've handled it in a more mature way. Life was v stressful at the time (exP was stalking me at the time, police were involved etc so not an easy time. ExH was aware of all this)
I have recently discovered (via the info on the consent order) that he is earning considerably more than he has been telling me (he's changed jobs a couple of times and told me he took a pay cut). He's paid via an informal agreement and has only increased this once in 10 years, by £50.
I'm grateful that he's paid regularly but I looks as though he should actually be paying around £200 a month more.
I have tried to facilitate mediation and organise a time to talk. He is stonewalling me and refusing to engage. In my shoes, would you take this to the CMS or would you just be grateful you were getting anything at all and not rock the boat?