Should I move DS or make DD commute?

[Blinktwice2]

DS moved from a childminder (he went to her since he was a baby) to a nursery this april. All going well, lovely nursery and nicely settled in.
DD got a place in a grammar school in Tonbridge (we are in west wickham).

Our initial plan was to sell our house in west wickham , move to Tonbridge and settle down there . We found a buyer for our house. In the meanwhile, we decided to relocate abroad next year (Apr 2020 - Visas etc sorted).

I cant decide if we should rent in Tonbridge now and move DS into another nursery there or rent locally (in WW) to keep him where he is and make DD commute to school?

DS is only 3 . We move him now to a Tonbridge nursery, and move him to a nursery abroad in 6 months time and move him again into school in Sept 2020 - Is that OK - will it cause issues for him later on?

What the best thing to do now?

I'm confused DD is accepting the grammar school place (I assume this is for Tonbridge Grammar) but you'll be moving after she's been there 6 months? Will the grammar school place remain open for her when you all return?

If you'll be moving in 6 months anyway I'd probably stay put. Is she definitely going to Tonbridge (for example has she heard from Newstead Wood which would be a bit closer?). If the grammar school place won't still be open to her it would seem pointless to move deeper into Kent for a school that probably wouldn't be available on your return anyway.

How long is the commute for your DD?

As DD will only be in the school for 2 terms, I would go for her commuting or can you get her into a more local school?

I'd also say that the catchment for Tonbridge girls is huge - lots commute from an hour or more away on the train so she definitely wouldn't be alone.

There's going to be upheaval whatever you do, not just for the children. Personally, I would never choose to move twice in six months. So I would either make your daughter commute, or if it's really a long journey, send her to a more local non-grammar school for two terms.

Is there any point sending her to the grammar at all if you're moving abroad in six months?

Is there any point sending her to the grammar at all if you're moving abroad in six months?

Some poor souls on the waiting list will get settled in a new place and then have to move when her place is free

That said it
Might take longerv

If you're going to be away longer than a few months, surely she won't be able to keep her grammar school place anyway? I'd be more inclined to send her to a more local school in that case so there'll be minimal upheaval. When are you likely to return to the UK? Most of the grammar places will probably be taken (especially at Tonbridge grammar) when you return so it might make more sense for DD to start at a good comprehensive close to London where she'd have a chance of being readmitted when you return.

Moving abroad will be permanent. There is still a small degree of uncertainty with it, hence she’ll be starting at Tonbridge Grammar. Our plan B is to settle down in Tonbridge.

I would have her commute initially. Wait and see if the international move happens then you can relocate to Tonbridge if not. Would you be driving her or would she get the train? (Changing in Orpington?). Either way it's doable and she may find there are other girls (or boys at Judd) doing the same journey).

No point moving just to move again in six months. I’m not sure why she isn’t just going to a local school because she won’t be at the grammar one after a while. Let the place go to someone who is sure they will continue there.