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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be worried about DD? Please advise as very confused atm.

32 replies

Shehz21 · 12/06/2019 15:12

I have been mulling about whether to post this or not but here goes nothing.. so a bit of back story here;
I have a DD who is 17 months soon. She is the apple of mine and Dh's eyes as we have decided to stop at just the one due to many reasons. She has a very doting grandmother who lives with us, my Dh is a hands on dad despite long hours at work and I am a SAHM so give her my 100% attention. She is very spoilt,being an only child and only grandchild,in the sense she gets new toys every now and then. I try to stimulate her a lot during the day, take her to soft play and toddler classes quite often.
Getting to the point now is that I "think" my daughter has..uhm I'm not quite sure how to put it..temper issues? She gets VERY angry when something doesn't go her way and is going to harm herself by either headbutting into the wall or biting herself or scream at the top of her lungs or full tantrum rolling onto the floor screaming. Now being a FTP, I don't know whether this is normal toddler tantrums or there is more to it. She has been walking since she was 10 months and just started saying few words. I thought it must be frustration to communicate but she understands A LOT.
Please if someone could come along and advise whether this is normal toddler behavior. I might come across as an OTT mum but trust me I am indeed worried as I had a lot of anger issues when I was younger and had to start therapy until much older. She also doesn't know how to play with other kids and will snatch things off them or scream and hit them. I feel like I can't even take her to any groups/softplay anymore and this is really getting me down. Please help.
TIA

OP posts:
BertieBotts · 12/06/2019 20:44

It is so normal. I think it's important if you're worried about her anger to go with an approach of validating/accepting big feelings "I can see you feel so cross about that" etc. You can accept the feeling (anger) while condemning the behaviour (hurting people, screaming, breaking things), and try to work on her expressing this in a more constructive way.

I think it can be quite frightening and overwhelming for them when their feelings are so big and take over. I don't think tantrums are necessarily naughtiness, I think sometimes they just overspill and don't know how to handle themselves. I wrote this a few years ago about anger and not being afraid of it: parentinggeek.blogspot.com/2013/07/is-anger-always-bad.html

How To Talk is a great book and there is a Little Kids version which might be helpful here.

user1480880826 · 12/06/2019 20:48

You have just described every toddler in the world Grin

Perhaps spend more time around other toddlers and you will quickly realise this. She doesn’t have temper issues and she isn’t spoilt. She’s just normal.

BertieBotts · 12/06/2019 20:52

I think she's probably early into toddlerhood as most children don't hit this stage until they are over 2.

Tiredtessy · 12/06/2019 21:53

My DS used to headbut the floor in a temper! Was awful, have massive tantrums and was quite tough at times, he’s 10 now and so laid back! Sounds totally normal to me!

SallyWD · 12/06/2019 22:00

Sounds very normal and exactly how my two were at that age.

hushnowthanks · 12/06/2019 22:17

Toddlers are just tiny psychos!

It’s such an amazing and wonderful age. Sending you Flowers

Itsallliestheyrenotevensquare · 12/06/2019 22:39

She sounds exactly the same as my toddler. Although mine enjoys a dramatic fall to the ground, whilst screaming his lungs out.

I totally agree with other posters who have said that she's probably frustrated at not being able to make you understand what she wants.

We certainly noticed that every time DS's language improved, his behaviour did too.

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