To think the withdrawal method isn't a method of contraception??

[chuttypicks]

Exactly as the title really. I've seen several threads on here recently where people are asking if they could possibly be pregnant as they're having all the symptoms of it, but didn't think they could be as they've been using the withdrawal method....

Surely that isn't actually a method of contraception though. To my knowledge there is live sperm in pre-ejaculate so even if the man withdraws prior to full ejaculation, there is still a good chance of being pregnant. Why do people not know this, and surely this is the sort of thing that only teenagers believe will work?

I'm really surprised at how many adults seem to think this is an acceptable/reliable form of contraception. Am I totally wrong? What am I missing?

It doesn’t sound a particularly fun method.

Of course it's a method of contraception. It's one way of reducing the likelihood that you'll conceive. It's just not the most reliable method out there. My husband and I used it for a few years where we weren't 100% TTC but also knew that we'd be OK with having a baby (yes, we did specifically discuss it - we both wanted kids, ideally would wait but it wouldn't be a disaster if it happened earlier). No unwanted pregnancies here, and two wanted pregnancies very shortly after we started TTC. So it seems to have worked for us. But I do think that anyone considering withdrawal needs to be very honest with themselves about the substantial risk that they're taking, and about how they and their partner will feel if they do become pregnant.

I've been pregnant twice and had two children. My ex and I used this method successfully for around twenty years minus the month or so to conceive plus the nine months of pregnancy each time. It can work extremely well and results in both the man and woman becoming very in tune with the woman's cycle. Also no condom or pill failures to worry about.
YABU

Used it for 4 years, no accidents. Got pregnant straight away when we wanted to three times.

I hate this mumsnet consensus that it is ‘not a method’. It is.

Obviously there are more reliable methods out there but this one is good if 1. You don’t like hormonal contraception, 2. It wouldn’t be a disaster if you did fall pregnant and 3. You’re in a committed and long term relationship.

Anyway cheers for starting a thread to try to make yourself feel superior to idiots like me that use this method.

Well the Catholic Church thinks it’s effective!
I personally know of 2 people who did get pregnant using this method.
I guess it’s up to you if you risk it or not.

It is a contraceptive method, just not the most reliable one. I'd also point out that some of the posters saying it's worked for them are combining it with tracking the cycle, which is a different thing altogether, whereas none of the posts OP mentions were doing that. Obviously you massively reduce the risk of pregnancy if you abstain on the most fertile days.

I think also with NFP, ie combining withdrawal and tracking, there's a lot of self selection involved there. Ie if you know your cycle is all over the place, you're probably never going to go for NFP in the first place, whereas you don't get the same advance warning that yours is one of those wombs that doesn't like coils much.

I'm super fertile (6 pregnancies first cycle of trying) but have never got pregnant using withdrawal in over 20 years. Anecdotal I know.

It doesn’t sound a particularly fun method

Tell that to my DP.

We’ve been using this method for 7 years after some disastrous attempts with condoms and a couple of very crappy months on the pill.

I read the statistics around perfect use and average use for all the different methods and realised that if I was willing to risk the (actually quite high - looking at you DS1!!) failure rate of a condom, then we could save ourselves a shit ton of hassle by just not using them and being mindful of my cycle.

I get my fun first then he basically finishes every session with a BJ instead of PIV - what’s not to like?!

Once or twice a month on the very safest of safe days he might not pull out, but most of the time he is more than happy to finish elsewhere.

Anyone who thinks it doesn’t sound much fun isn’t using their imagination.

@2LitreBottle
Exactly this!
Judging by the content of a lot of porn - finishing elsewhere is very popular. My DH was pretty miffed when I wanted to TTC for this reason.

I agree. I've been seeing a lot of posts lately about the possibility of being pregnant from using this method.

Each to our own I suppose but if you have to ask a parents forum if you 'might' be pregnant after using this type of 'contraception' rather than taking a pregnancy test, perhaps stick to condoms in the future.

Isn't it a combination of fertility tracking AND withdrawing that works? Just having sex whenever and then withdrawing- that can't work... (well I know when I got pregnant at 19 it definitely didn't... )

No fertility tracking just withdrawal method for the last 7 years, only getting pregnant when trying i.e. Not withdrawing.
However Personally I wouldn't use it if I would be devastated about falling pregnant again.

I know a few people who've got pregnant whilst on the pill as well - no method is 100%.
If getting pregnant would be a complete disaster, then either don't have sex or use 2 methods at once.
Withdrawal works most of the time if you do it properly. As does every other method.
Best bet is probably, only have sex if you have a plan for what you will do if you do get pregnant.

Both my dc seem to have been conceived this way!

I never thought it would be successful, and in my book I wouldn't say it is contraception so much as having unprotected sex, trying to avoid pregnancy, but confident that it wouldn't be the end of the world if it happened.

I read this article about fertility tracking apps (kind of same topic) and found it interesting, I'm not sure whether risks outweigh benefits: www.mymorningafter.co.uk/blog1/2019/5/14/is-fertility-tracking-the-future-of-contraception

Myself and Dh used it for years successfully. Got pregnant first month we tried so we're both quite fertile. It is a great method if both parties are trustworthy. I 100% trusted my Dh to pull out and he 100% trusted me to tell him my fertile times.
I'm on the pill now only because I absolutely do not want any more kids.

Worked for us also for over ten years. I don't like being on contraception and we trust each other.

It can work but like all contraception there will be human error. I used it in conjunction with the pill as I didn’t want a pregnancy. I had a fuckwit ex who always wanted to finish piv. He just didn’t get that it helped reduce the chance of error. He’d promise faithfully to pull out and rarely did. One of the many reasons he is an ex. The only reliable contraception is abstinence, it’s 100% but not much fun.

I just don't get the appeal. Where do all your DH's put 'it?' Just all over your stomach or your bedclothes? 🤷🏼‍♀️

@Ginger1982
Varies! You make it part of the fun. Mouth is a perennial favourite, a lot of men are very happy to finish on a BJ

Used this method for 12 years and never accidentally conceived. I have children already also

I can’t use any other method of contraception than condoms which we only use when it’s the time of the month that I can get pregnant. I can feel when I can get pregnant because of the way my body is. I did use an app alongside this for a while but don’t really need to so don’t bother now. It has worked for me for many years and the two times I have wanted to get pregnant I have done so very quickly (4 cycles, 1 cycle and actually another which ended in a MMC after 1 cycle).

It worked for us for years although it took us a fair while to conceive when we actually wanted to so I suppose we’re not one of the riskier groups.

I know people and have heard plenty of stories of people who conceived on medical forms of contraception so I suppose it’s just your own risk assessment and circumstances.

I wouldn’t recommend it to a younger person or anyone where the female struggled to get her satisfaction in first, but other than that it’s fine.

There’s plenty of places men like to finish off... (can’t quite believe I’m informing people on the internet of that fact! )

It's a method that can work, but I wouldn't use the term "birth control method" when describing it.

For women with predictable cycles it’s not difficult to figure out when you’re ovulating and to avoid sex. We’re not fertile all month long!!