To be peeved that DH is (inaccurately) telling people that I work reduced hours?

[legalalien]

Not that I should care - but I had an email from a mutual (professional) acquaintance saying he had recently spoken with DH and how good he thought it was that I was working a reduced hours (30-35 hour) week.

Which I don't. It's full time and something like 45 hours.

Which annoys me because DH works longer hours, and constantly expects me to do pretty much anything family / admin related on the basis that I have more time. He seems to be deluding himself that I don't have a full time job - and now he's actually telling that to other people!

Why is he doing that? Wishful thinking?

I would be pissed, too. I don't think you being unreasonable. Sometimes, men have no concept of how much work is involved in the family part.

Why does he say that??

WOW i would be pissed at that too

but i think you need to ask your DH why he is telling people this? and exactly since when is 40+ hours reduced hours?!

I did ask (in fact I forwarded the email). He said he hadn't expected it to be forensically examined.

Completely mad. I think he just likes the idea of being the primary breadwinner / being able to support me in a reduced hours job. It is the case that in my last job I was probably working more like 55-60 hours a week.

Maybe I'll have a word with my boss and see whether I really can get my hours reduced! That would be nice.

Silly tosser!

eek legalalien

he is deluded. Time for a serious chat with him I think.

think you really need to have a chat with him he sounds slightly deluded tbh

Yes. I don't think there's anything sinister, I think that he just finds it easier to think that I've cut back on my working hours more than I actually have.

Will ponder.

i do think it is becoming a bit of a status thing for men to be financially able to support their whole family. ridiculous yes, but am seeing more of it..

and being able to afford 3,4,5 children - def a status thing!

If you'd like reduced hours, I'd definitely talk to your boss about it. I'd pick a calm moment with your DH to explain to him why it was upsetting to read that e-mail. I would have been upset too. I feel like I have so much on my plate as a FT working Mum that if anyone suggests that I have had, for example, half an hour off, I feel compelled to say 'No, I spent that half an hour doing the the washing and cleaning DS's beakers. I have not had half an hour off since September 2006.' and I say it in a pugnacious 'How dare you question my level of exhaustion?' tone . Which probably isn't showing the best conversational skills ever

i'm now a sahm (have to be as we couldn't sfford child care for 4 dc's) but i did work full time until DD was about 18mths and i was also expected to do all housework etc but now that i don't work DP helps more!

Although your DH may not have meant it in a sinister way i think it is insulting to you, and yes should you want to reduce your hours do so if you don't see if you can get a cleaner or something to help with house demands

btw 4 dc's isn't a status thing for us we just wanted them