Restricting holiday phone use

mugofteathanks · 2019-06-12T08:47:29+00:00

Would I be aibu to only allow my 15 year old daughter access to her phone for an hour a day on holiday . Otherwise her head will be buried in it all day long . However is it a bit strict? Any suggestions . We also leave our phones back at the hotel until the evening . Thanks .

Geminijes · 12/06/2019 09:51

Maybe when she is on holiday she will find other things to occupy her such as swimming/playing in the pool etc.

Restricting phone use is extreme, especially as it's a holiday and everyone should enjoy themselves. If she enjoys being on the phone then it seems selfish to prevent her.

Looneytune253 · 12/06/2019 09:54

None of us (inc teenager) take our phones on holiday with us. It's too easy to just waste your time attached to your phone.

Moneybegreen · 12/06/2019 09:55

I think that's far too strict, what about her being able to take her own photos? I'd say turn off data when away from the hotel, but she'll just be miserable if you restrict to 1 hour a day.

ASilhouetteAndNothingMore · 12/06/2019 09:57

I've told my 14 yo son that he can have his phone for an hour a day when we go away. Obviously I'm going to be a bit flexible with that, if we're by the pool all day and he wants to listen to music, thats fine.
The rule is holidays are family time and the phone won't interfere with that.

justanswerthephone · 12/06/2019 09:58

Massively controlling.

BertieBotts · 12/06/2019 10:03

One hour is very little, holidays are meant for relaxing, not improving. Also she is 15 which means she'll have to start regulating her own use some time.

Restrict it to no more than half the time she is awake if you must, or discourage it in other ways like by initiating family activities that phones aren't needed for etc.

I agree with others she might want to use it for taking photos or listening to music?

crazyasafox · 12/06/2019 10:04

@mugofteathanks

Good luck with that!!

We tried this with our kids when we were on hols and daytrips, and they were morbidly miserable and awkward and arsey and grumpy and joined in with fuck-all anyway. So we gave up, and just let them have their phones... Just asked them to put them away for lunch and dinner and anything 'sociable' like playing a sport (mini golf/pool/darts/badminton etc...)

It is very hard as they are addicted at that age. It's like any addiction; hard to break/shake off. Now my kids are older (adults,) they are not bothered about the phone as much (or social media,) and they spend hardly any time on either...

But I sympathise with you; the teens years are a bitch. I am glad they are over.

Good luck! Don't restrict them to an hour a day though. They are not going to be sweet and fluffy and sociable and lovely; they will be demons. Trust me!!! Maybe (as I said,) just ask them to put it down for 4-5 hours a day when you are doing sociable stuff IYSWIM.

Original poster

mugofteathanks · 12/06/2019 10:05

Thanks. She will be on snap chat continuously if we don't restrict it somewhat. She seems detached as it is but I am hoping that this is just a teenage thing. There are no other children her own age there but she does enjoy the pools and the beach etc . I just feel that if I don't put some restriction on it, she will spend her holiday on the phone .i don't want to be a dinosaur either though

OP posts:

herculepoirot2 · 12/06/2019 10:10

Well, I would be more inclined to restrict it at home to be honest. Not to an hour a day, but to a level where she learns to do other things. On holiday I would probably loosen the restriction but still say no phones upstairs or whatever you would normally do about night-time/meal times.

BettySwollocksandaCrustyRack · 12/06/2019 10:14

We tried this with our kids when we were on hols and daytrips, and they were morbidly miserable and awkward and arsey and grumpy and joined in with fuck-all anyway. So we gave up, and just let them have their phones... Just asked them to put them away for lunch and dinner and anything 'sociable' like playing a sport (mini golf/pool/darts/badminton etc...)

This.......unless you want her to join in with something just let her have it, it's her holiday too and I'm sure you wouldn't want someone dictating what you can and can't do on you holiday. Pick your battles, otherwise it will be a miserable holiday lol.

AngelsWithSilverWings · 12/06/2019 10:15

We had a device free week on our two week camping holiday last year. Adults too. This was actually a challenge set by DS's school.

The change in my son (13) by the end of the week was amazing. When we gave him his devices back he was pleased to have them but by then had got used to enjoying other non screen based activities so wasn't so heavily obsessed with his phone.

We are going to do the same this year. We all benefitted.

I did try to cheat by looking at phone under my sleeping bag but the kids told me off when they saw the light from the screen.

TreacherousPissFlap · 12/06/2019 10:16

It sounds miserable for everyone TBH- the idea of trying to jolly DS along when his phone is locked in the hotel room is unthinkable.

I would say not at meal times (which we do anyway) and if we're out as a family then sensible use (DS would be listening to music while we travelled or taking photos which I would be fine with)

Sarahjconnor · 12/06/2019 10:34

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Fluffyunicorns · 12/06/2019 10:39

Are you going to be in the UK - will she have Wifi or be relying on her data? How much data does she have - might she not run out and have to limit herself?? If you are out of Europe you will need to turn off data roaming anyway unless you want a second mortgage!

Fluffyunicorns · 12/06/2019 10:40

Also phone by the pool is generally difficult due to glare on the screen

Original poster

mugofteathanks · 12/06/2019 10:41

Ok thanks everyone . I will ask her to put it away for meal times/ bedtime and allow her whatever access she wants then. You are right. Her being miserable is. Not what we want at all

OP posts:

Pinotjo · 12/06/2019 12:05

My DP and I got told off by the waitress at our regular holiday spot, been going to same place for years, for using our phones whilst waiting for breakfast. Really embarrassing! We work hard, all day and when we get home, hardly ever have time to scroll through SM etc.we dont use our phones while eating, we talk to each other, personally I'd ask your DD not to use it when you're having a meal but other than that id cut her some slack, shes a teenager

justanswerthephone · 12/06/2019 12:08

My DP and I got told off by the waitress at our regular holiday spot, been going to same place for years, for using our phones whilst waiting for breakfast. Really embarrassing!

Embarrassing for her, not you. Who does she think she is? I do hope you complained? Her job is to wait; not to judge.

Gth1234 · 12/06/2019 12:09

perhaps she will find boys - then you will wish she was still concentrating on the phone. :)

Gatehouse77 · 12/06/2019 12:12

Blimey, that's not a battle I'd consider having!

When mine were younger they weren't allowed phones at nighttime but the only 'restriction' was no phones at the supper table. Which we still do as it is when we talk, find out about each other's days, etc.

They're pretty good on self-regulation and will put phones down when asked.

LagunaBubbles · 12/06/2019 12:20

None of us (inc teenager) take our phones on holiday with us. It's too easy to just waste your time attached to your phone

I can't ever imagine going on holiday without my phone. I keep on top of finances by checking my bank every day, Google places we would like to visit, take photos on the camera and browse MN, FB when we aren't doing anything just relaxing.

FishCanFly · 12/06/2019 12:45

we do exactly the opposite. unlimited phone use. Teenager isn't exactly excited about going on a family holiday, so we'd rather have him in the phone rather than listen to him complain. But can't exactly leave him home alone.

FlorenceandtheWashingMachine · 12/06/2019 12:54

We all do a Digital Detox on holiday. We aim at a while week without it and then - if we are away for longer - we ease up and check messages in the mornings and evenings. I suggested it very much as something we'd do together as opposed to an enforced thing and my teen daughters were up for it.

Gth1234 · 12/06/2019 13:13

I can't ever imagine going on holiday without my phone. I keep on top of finances by checking my bank every day, Google places we would like to visit, take photos on the camera and browse MN, FB when we aren't doing anything just relaxing.

checking you bank every day?

crazyasafox · 12/06/2019 13:14

I can't ever imagine going on holiday without my phone. I keep on top of finances by checking my bank every day, Google places we would like to visit, take photos on the camera and browse MN, FB when we aren't doing anything just relaxing.

When I read comments like this ^ it makes me wonder how people coped before the internet, and mobile phones/smart phones.

How did they 'keep on top of their finances' 15 years + back? How did they take photos? How did they find out where to visit whilst on holiday?

ME? I would check my bank balance before I went on holiday, take a bunch of travellers cheques and or/euros or dollars, and occasionally go to a cashpoint if I needed extra money.

AND I have always used a CAMERA to take photos! I know, weird eh?

I would also take books and a few magazines on holiday (and still do!) I do not go on the internet every spare moment I am on holiday! What did people do before smartphones? Seek out internet cafes??? So they could spend half their spare time (on holiday,) on the internet???

And as for work...... when I am on holiday, no fucking WAY is my work contacting me. And I have no intention of speaking to THEM.

Places to visit........ Ask the hotel receptionist, get a bunch of leaflets off the reception desk, OR look before you leave home.

As for the bank thing..... I am not sure people should even be having holidays if their bank balance is so precarious that they need to check it every day!

As I said, how DID people cope before the internet, and smartphones??!!!!