To ask for advice re: harassment order

[cowcreamer]

Has anyone ever reported someone for harassment? I have recently had to report our ex-builder for harassment. We are withholding our final payment for snagging and until building control have been but have not allowed him to finish the work as he started making threats to our family and was also really unskilled and basically messing up our house more very time he entered it. All above board and legal and solicitors involved.

He has basically started a vendetta of abuse and harassment in order to try and get his money - he has contacted my place of work and told them I am mentally unstable and aggressive (all complete lies - as such he has no evidence) and that he thinks I have post partum depression - 3 month old baby (amazingly considering all this I actually don't!) and that my husband is abusive (couldn't be further from truth). He has made these allegations to HR where I work, my professional body, the chief executive where I work and now social services. He is making our lives hell and we have had to get the police involved.

Which brings me to my question (and not really an AIBU so sorry but need some urgent-is advice). The police came a couple of days ago and looked at all the evidence - agreed harassment etc - and are going to serve him with a harassment order. He then said he would be back in the next day or two to get me to sign it before he took it to him but he's not been back since (I totally get they are very busy).

I spoke to 101 yesterday after I got the social services referral email from him as I was really shaken (he says my children are at risk - utter utter c*&t) and she said she would email the officer to update me but she was surprised I would need to sign anything before it being served. Has anyone ever done this before? My parents want to whisk me away to theirs for a few days (in a different city) as my husband works long hours and weekends and I've got 2 under 2 and dealing with all this as well is tough and they want to help.

But do I need to just wait at home til the police come back? I have no way of contacting this officer directly - or even the station - it's just via 101 and I don't feel I can abuse that service just to chase what's happening - esp given this is probably quite a minor thing compared to the rest of the stuff they deal with. Any advice? About any of this? WWYD? Thanks all

Sounds horrendous! I don’t think it’s minor at all and it’s frustrating that they didn’t give you a specific time-frame, you’ve just been left in limbo.
Hopefully they’ll be in touch today.

You don't sign the harrassment warning they do. They need to sign it to say they understand that their conduct is harrassment. If the then continue the police have the the evidence to prosocute.

The evidence needed is that the harrassment is ongoing and that they knew that it was causing u alarm. Them signing the harrassment warning proves to the courts that they did in deed know that it was causing you alarm as they had been warned by the police.

You could do with knowing if it has been served on them by the officer as anything happening after that means they can be prosocuted for it.

Keep chasing!

Thank you. Yes it was my understanding that they sign it, not you - so I don't want to wait around for something that won't happen. I will give them a call to chase.

It's all such a bizarre situation - I feel like a need a manual on how to deal with your crazy, narcissistic, abusive ex-builder!

It's not nice at all. Keep a log of everything and all evidence (I had a book and a folder for pics/screenshots on my phone just for keeping track of everything the nutter done).
Hope he backs off and things get sorted for you.

For harassment it needs just two episodes that create a course of conduct that intends to cause you harassment alarm and distress and he knows this. Thats easily been the case. Police have two options

1. Proceed straight to arrest and charge, or
2. Decide to give him a first instance warning, get him to a knowledge any further episode will result in arrest. This rebuts his argument that he "didnt know" what he was doing was harassment. Its not a requirement to go through this hurdle, but its often an effective measure to make it stop.

Go away as planned, and ask for updates. If you dont hear back just request to see that officers supervisor.

Thank you - I contacted 101 and they were great. they have given me the email address of the response officer so I can liaise with hi directly and also suggested asking for updates.

It's a really horrible situation - to feel so helpless and to realise that if someone has a vendetta against you they can really do some damage! I think you just always think that it won't happen unless you have done something to deserve it - but now I realise that some people are really just that nasty. So depressing.