Donor eggs guarantee a baby...

[Stripyseagulls]

Good friend going through IVF at 44 using donor eggs- first 2 rounds failed. Consultant has told them that donor eggs virtually guarantee success- they are desperate for a child so I suspect will keep trying for a while.
Aibu to think this is really irresponsible of consultant to say this too them- it feels a bit like it’s exploiting their desperation. Am not sure of the success rate of donor eggs but nothing is guaranteed. I really feel for them but this feels unethical

Googled and found-

Women under 35 using their own eggs for IVF have about a 40% chance of having a baby, but for women over 42 that chance drops to 4.5%. However, using donor eggs changes the picture entirely: the chances of having a baby through IVF increases to 49.6% when fresh donor eggs are used, for women of any childbearing age.

Just tell your friend to tell the clinic to give her their actual stats for donor egg fertilisation, implantation, and birth rate.

I guess a 50% chance is pretty good - wonder if that’s going full term or getting pregnant

I imagine the consultant said it is the best chance of success (meaning over their own low quality eggs).

IVF/ICSI is, as I sadly know, not a guarantee of success even with your own perfect quality young eggs.

They have misheard or jumbled a couple of things said together BUT no one goes through all that treatment thinking it is going to fail.

Do you know the clinic they are using? Their live birth rates will be in their statistics in their website.

HFEA May have more info www.hfea.gov.uk/i-am/women-over-38/

This is from 2018 but does say IVF fails up to 70% of the time but more about increase in usage that rates.
IVF egg donor use rises sharply, HFEA figures show www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-43458405

All you can do is be there for your friend and hope that she gets her dream.

Clinics usually publish their live birth rate per embryo transferred.
There are other measure too - the HFEA website explains them.
www.hfea.gov.uk/choose-a-clinic/

She needs to ask about her specific clinics success rate with donor eggs.
Many clinics offer discounted IVF to women who do “egg share” - they keep half their eggs, and half go to the recipient. (I think there’s usually a rule that if it’s under a certain number, the donor keeps them all though)
They have rules donation - so under a certain age. My clinic wouldn’t have accepted me as a donor as I have PCOS.

So the donor eggs could be from a 34 year old who also has had 5 years unexplained infertility. Or a 22yo who has already had 2 children each conceived first time! For this reason, I wouldn’t rely on any general reports, but be quizzing my clinic.

I think it depends on the clinic. Some clinics abroad source their own donors, so they may have used the same donor already for another couple and know that a baby has come out of it.

Are you sure that the consultant didn’t say that they would have a better chance of success with donor eggs? And they just heard what they wanted to hear and took it as a definite.

@Ellisandra that report v interesting- it’s about 25-30% success rate for over 40s with donor eggs. Not sure I will send my friend report but it’s interesting reading

I know people are saying the consultant could not have said what your friend claimed they did, but I had a similar experience. At 39 I went to see a very highly respected IVF doctor who we discussed treatment with. At the end of our first appointment (before any tests etc), she said to me "you will get pregnant."

I remember being really taken aback by her declaration. I had looked at the figures on the HFEA website and read extensively around the subject so I knew she could not guarantee that. I was expecting qualification and disclaimers but no she made a pretty blatant statement.

I would therefore urge your friend to do her own research. A lot of clinics in my experience gave what I felt was a sales spiel and you had to be very careful. The HFEA website is a great place to start.

That's so unethical hellomatey

@Hellomatey001 this is what I mean- there seem to be some unethical people out there playing god a bit. Sorry you had the same experience

So sorry to read this story - infertility is the most awful situation where hope can hurt you more than anything.
I'm currently 46 and pregnant from donor egg IVF after many years trying with own eggs.

My experience with donor egg is that everyone (docs/nurses at donor clinic) DID always talk as if it was definitely going to work. I remained super cautious (and still am tbh) after so many disappointments, but it's difficult not to be caught up in all the positivity when you really want to believe it!
Now it HAS actually worked, and they were right, I'll never forget I am one of the lucky ones.

Are the eggs your friends are using all from the same donor? Do they know the age of the donor and if they're proven or unproven? In my case I bought 6 eggs, they were fertilised, not all did, and the successful ones monitored. Then the 'best one' was picked for transfer. If I hadn't become pregnant I would have gone back to try another one (this sounds like where your friends are) until they were all used. My clinic was about to start offering 'free' second batch of eggs from a new donor if all eggs failed in a batch ( but I doubt this practise is widespread) And of course there is a big cost to your savings and your mental health each time you try another egg x

I hope your friends get there, but only they know how many times they can go through this x

I was an egg donor for someone close to me and we had to go through a lot of counselling beforehand. It was made very clear in those that it is no guarantee at all, it was one of the things they specifically spoke about to make sure we were aware. I am a lot younger that the recipient but even with that only a small number of eggs that fertilised were healthy (she paid to get them tested) literally a 3rd of them because IVF is effectively forcing eggs that your body would have disregarded to grow. I think they possibly heard what they wanted to unfortunately but that alone suggests the clinic wasnt great with the counselling side. I hope it works out got them xx

@stripeyseagulls sorry not reply sooner to your question. I was 40 the first two times and 47 (days off 48 though) the third time. With donor eggs, it really is the donor's age that is important.

Isn't the success rate over 38 something like 6% for IVF? But supposedly back up to 20 something percent if the donor eggs are from a young donor.

My concern is that donor eggs are not always sourced morally. In the UK they are normally sourced from women who want discounted IVF treatment themselves :( and abroad - who knows 🤷

You only have to read IVF support groups to realise how much they are 'sold to' by the IVF clinics. Even under the NHS for add ons & extras that have no backing by proper research.

At 44 she should be planning her retirement in 20yrs. I would be looking at other options and how to enjoy the rest of my life tbh :(

@WhiteRedRose . I am not sure many people start planning for their retirement at 44, whether they are parents or not! I can see if you had children in your 20s or 30s the idea of starting again with nappies and sleepless nights at 44 might fill you with horror, but for those of us who spent that time without children for whatever reason, with the freedom to work, travel etc that provided, but also possibly trying unsuccessfully to have a family, 44 really doesn't feel that old.

Each to their own I guess