To be worried about DC's college choice

[SmallorBig]

DD has a wide circle of good friends at school (Year11) .
She has 3 very close friends. One has a scholarship and will go to college out of area and the other two have places at the very big college in our town along with ALL of DD's other friends (this is an academic college offering mainly A level subjects).
DD has chosen to go to a much smaller local college (a mixture of A level and vocational courses are offered).
She loved it from her first visit and is set on going there. She likes the tutors, A levels offered and gets a good feeling from it.
She is expected to get very good GCSEs & hopefully will do ok but she will know nobody if she goes to the small college.
All of her friends live within driving distance of us so she can't just pop over.
AIBU to be worried that she will be isolated or do you think it will be ok to start again knowing nobody?
She's friendly & outgoing but even so....

I think the tutors will work to help the students get to know each other. That’s what we dod when I was an FE lecturer and personal tutor. She will be fine.

I think you should let your daughter pave her own path. She appears to be a bright, outgoing young woman. This will be a great experience for her.

She'll be fine. It's a great opportunity for her to widen her social circle.

She'll make news friends at the college, and stay in touch with her old ones too even if she doesn't see them quite as often as before.

Do you think so Decor? Thanks for your positivity! We're nearing the end of GCSEs and I'm finding something else to worry about. I really think she'll love the college but having no friends around her?! That's hard!
DD says she'll make new friends and if she doesn't, will just do more work (haha!) She's got loads of friends at school now & is happy... seems a shame to split away from the group!

Aqua & Grum That's what I keep saying to myself. She's quite happy with her choice! I need to STEP BACK.

YANBU to feel a bit worried. Just keep it to yourself!

I know how hard it is, because my children are both young adults now, 20 and 22. Your daughter has got to be given the freedom to live her own life and make her own decisions, even if some of those decisions aren't the ones you would make. She will be just fine.

If she has chosen this college, she's probably looking forward to a new start and new environment! She won't be the only one who doesn't know anyone either. I think it is great that she found a place that she is so enthusiastic about without just following her friends - she sounds like a confident young woman.

Pearl Struggling with that!! DD tells me that even if nobody talks to her, she'll still like it. She especially likes the subjects she has chosen (not as taken with the subjects on offer at the bigger college).
Something about the place has really drawn her in! I hope it lives up to expectations!!

My DD can't decide where to go but if she were my DD of make sure she'd thought through the pros and cons and then just leave her to it. If she starts and doesn't like it chances are she'd be able to move. Well done to her for knowing what she wants and not following the crowd.

You're a lovely lot cheering her along! (thank you!)

I need to do the same!

Many years ago I left school (which I hated) and did my 'A' Levels at the local technical college (as they used to call them ). I didn't know a soul but I loved it,I made friends and went on to university from there.

Your DD sounds a lovely, sensible, outgoing young woman, I'm sure she will make friends and thrive.

It's HER choice, it's where SHE wants to go, and she knows she will be with a lot of friends that she hasn't met yet.
All her friends of old will be doing different courses, and she may not see them much anyway.
You gave her a life, please let go of it and let her live it.
Don't apply your anxieties to her.

I went to a different college than anyone I knew. I made some brilliant friends and had an amazing time then went on to university.

She will be fine and far more likely to enjoy herself if she is doing courses she is really interested in.
DD says she'll make new friends and if she doesn't, will just do more work
DD tells me that even if nobody talks to her, she'll still like it
What prompted her to say this? Have you said that you are worried she won’t know anyone?

Dare I think I know she'll be ok deep down! Thank you!

Blue 'She'll be with friends she hasn't met yet' You're right!

In my experience quite a lot of life involves starting in new places/circumstances/jobs where you don't know anyone. I think it's great that your daughter feels confident to do this now and I can't think of any reason why you would want to dissuade her.

Well done to your daughter for being so strong and independent, and wanting to follow her own path instead of following where friends go.

My parents lived in Holland when it was time to go to University. I went off to St Andrews never having been to Scotland before. It was tough at first - but also liberating and a chance to reinvent myself from swot to slightly less swotty 😉.

My 13 and 15 year old have both gone to secondary schools where they are the only one from their class to go - and they are really happy.

They can do it - and in this day of social media, old friends are just a Facebook-insta- WhatsApp click away.

Good luck to your DD, and well done you raising such a mighty girl.

I did exactly the same as your DD.
I knew nobody and most lived elsewhere.
I made lots of new friends and was very happy.

I teach in a college and always make the first lesson a ‘get to know each other’ type lesson. Colleges are great for ensuring everyone feels accepted and included. She will be absolutely fine, she has to make a new group of friends at some point in life.

After my GCSEs I went to a different college to all my friends, in a different town. I knew no-one & I'm very shy but I soon made friends, I'm in my thirties now and still close with a couple of people from school & college.
Your daughter will soon have new friends wintry not to worry

Name
What prompted her to say this? Have you said that you are worried she won’t know anyone?

I've asked her what she wants to do . When she applied and went to the taster days nobody had made their minds up (they all applied to several).
They've made their minds up now and she told me that they're all going to the other college. I asked her what she thought of that/did she want to go there too/was she happy with her choice etc.!

The same will happen if she chooses to go to university, or when she starts a new job - it'll be great for her!

She obviously has the confidence she'll make friends (and why wouldn't she? She sounds great!). Perhaps reflect on why you don't have that same confidence for her?

*so try

Your DD seems to have made a sensible decision based on her academic needs - very mature. So often kids choose somewhere because their friends are going there. It's good to have wide circles of friends also. You have brought her up well!!