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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Aibu expecting too much dog sitter

28 replies

Dogdogdoglove · 11/06/2019 16:30

So this is my first dog (Bella) although we have had her a few years now and have had two dog walkers/dog sitters. First one was an absolute god send and was just amazing with our dog. She unfortunately left dog walking as she had back issues.

New dog walker/sitter (I'll call him Ben) came recommended by a friend and we have had him for about 3 months. No major issues. He has Bella (bulldog cross) three times a week (two one hour walks and one full day where he does 'doggy daycare').

Anyway in the last couple of weeks a couple of things have happened where I've been a bit hmmm. Ben has had Bella two days last week and this week as I've been attending medical appointments for my husband.

First issue - Ben rang to say Bella had a fight with another dog. I was surprised as our dog is pretty timid and our dog trainer was a bit 🧐 when I told him as he said most unusual from our dog. However this isn't the end of the world, Bella and the other dog were both fine. I understand these things happen. On the phone Ben said that she had a small cut on her leg but nothing major but when we got home Bella had what I can only describe as scratches and nibble marks on her ears (nothing huge but noticeable!).

Ben also said on the phone something that made me think he often leaves the dogs on their own and pops out to do errands. Is this normal? I'm surprised as surely I am paying him to be with my dog?

Second thing is today when Ben dropped our dog home he said that she had destroyed a cushion in his conservatory. Again this made me a bit taken aback as she has never destroyed things before (well not since she was about 6 months!). I don't know if he was hinting that I should pay for the cushion?? He then mentioned he had left her while he took the other dogs on a walk (she's quite lazy so doesn't always need an afternoon walk although would happily go) and that he had gone to the vets with his own dog. So this means Bella was alone in his house for at least 2 hours I think from what was said.

Aibu to be a bit annoyed? I pay a dog walker/sitter as I do not like leaving bella on her own for more than two hours. If Ben frequently leaves her at his house (potentially with other dogs who she doesn't get on with) then drops her at mine before I'm home she would be alone a lot longer than this. Or am I being completely unrealistic and a bit precious?

I'm aware I'm a bit ott about the dog as I love her to bits and she really helped me through a couple of mcs (I have a baby now 😊).

Sorry this is so long winded!

OP posts:
Aquamarine1029 · 11/06/2019 16:36

My first red flag is the destroying of the cushion. If that is not normal behaviour for her, it makes me think she did this due to anxiety and stress. I wonder if the dog walker is leaving her far more than he's owning up to.

GatsbyWasntGreat · 11/06/2019 16:39

Surely if your dog was supervised then she couldn't have chance to chew up a cushion. Therefore, not supervised. I wouldn't be happy at all. Paying for doggy day care means constant company and supervision.

LunaFortuna · 11/06/2019 16:39

YANBU - I'd be wanting to know what happened with regards to the fight and destroying a cushion means she was probably bored/stressed/alone or more likely all three. I'd also be looking to replace Ben pretty sharpish!

Dogdogdoglove · 11/06/2019 16:39

@Aquamarine1029 yes that worried me ☹️ She always seems so excited to go to his house or on a walk though (I drop her there on a morning and her tiny tail goes mental!). I'm concerned the leaving her with other dogs could lead to a more aggressive attack too. She is spayed but I don't know what the other dogs have had done.

I just don't know if I'm unreasonable to think she shouldn't be left at all? I'm paying him for the day so surely that includes him supervising her for the day? It seemed like he wanted me to pay for the cushion? But I kind of think that's on him!

OP posts:
TickleMyFanny · 11/06/2019 16:40

Put a doggycam on her collar!

Aquamarine1029 · 11/06/2019 16:40

You need to talk to him and express that you're concerned your expectations aren't being met. You're paying him to do a job and he should be doing it. Find another dog walker if you feel uncomfortable.

AngelaJ18 · 11/06/2019 16:41

If she’s not normally destructive then it could be that she’s stressed, if she’s being left too long it could be separation anxiety. Definitely look into this further and look at the possibility of a new dog sitter if he’s not doing what you’re paying him for

Dogdogdoglove · 11/06/2019 16:42

@GatsbyWasntGreat yes exactly that! She could be left alone in her own home if I wasn't bothered and I'd save £30! As it is I don't want her to be alone so I pay for him to be with her. Yes I am very sad when it comes to my dog haha!

@LunaFortuna I think that is where we are heading which is a shame as Bella really does love going there but I'm just worried she isn't safe. Luckily I'm on maternity atm and will be working mainly from home after so it isn't as big an issue to find someone new as it would have been a few months ago. It's such a stress finding someone and trusting them though 🙈

OP posts:
GatsbyWasntGreat · 11/06/2019 16:43

It seemed like he wanted me to pay for the cushion?

She destroyed it while in his supposed care.

Dogdogdoglove · 11/06/2019 16:44

@TickleMyFanny ha! My husband mocks me relentlessly because we do have doggy cam for when I have to pop out 😂 just so I can check she's okay and that she's behaving :-) (also good for checking your husband is actually doing the housework not taking a nap with the dog which he usually is on a morning!) 😂😂

OP posts:
Dogdogdoglove · 11/06/2019 16:44

@GatsbyWasntGreat I'm definitely not paying for it. For starters I don't even know how much said cushion was worth and as you say he should have been watching her.

OP posts:
StrongTea · 11/06/2019 16:44

Thing is you just don’t know the other dogs temperaments, or how many other dogs he looks after at the same time. How much space do they have? Are they all in the one room, could have been something like the door bell going that has caused problems. Wouldn’t be happy if it was my dog.

TheInebriati · 11/06/2019 16:46

Only stressed dogs chew up the furniture. I would never leave a visiting dog in a conservatory, dogs don't understand glass, and can try to run through it given enough provocation.

MrsMozartMkII · 11/06/2019 16:46

She doesn't sound happy with him.

I'd be listening to my dog and my gut and looking for a new sitter / walker.

Feelingwalkedover · 11/06/2019 16:50

I don’t like the sound of this
I think as your on mat leave I’d be popping by bens house a few times during the day ..if he’s in ,go in for a chat and a cuppa ,if not where are the dogs ,has he left them...I’d do a bit of checking first ,plus if it were my dogs I’d want to meet the dogs they were with all day.

Dogdogdoglove · 11/06/2019 16:52

That's the thing I worry she is being reactive to other dogs because I know she normally backs down very quickly (we had some anxiety issues as a puppy which are mostly sorted now she just is very easily dominated in a group 🤦🏻‍♀️) and obviously I worry if she was scared she would lash out or something or they'd lash out at her!

I've been to his house plenty of times and I know he mainly let's the dogs in his living room, conservatory and garden. I know he usually has four other dogs with her as he sends me pictures of her throughout the day.

Going to speak to my husband but sounds like I'm not being unreasonable and we need a new walker!

OP posts:
mussolini9 · 11/06/2019 17:16

I'd also be concerned about Bella (& other dogs) being left in a conservatory. It could easily & quickly become too hot for them. Especially if he is leaving them alone for 2 hours.

Kaz101 · 11/06/2019 17:17

Daycare and home boarders must be licensed with the local authority. Walking and dog sitting (in owners home) is not licensed). Daycare dogs should not be be left on their own. A dog boarding can be left for up to 3 hours maximum.

He should have insurance which may cover the cost of the cushion. If not, most day carers would look upon things like that as an occupational hazard.

WiddlinDiddlin · 11/06/2019 17:18

I am not sure he can have a day boarding licence if he has a set up that means dogs are together, unsupervised whilst he is not present!

Does he have a local authority licence and insurance?

His insurance should cover damage to his property.

Kaz101 · 11/06/2019 17:19

Also daycare or boarding dogs can no longer be kept in a conservatory (new regs Oct 2018) due to the reason Mussolini has stated above.

WeeBean · 11/06/2019 17:28

Oh I'd be so upset if my dog came back from daycare hurt! Completely understand where you're coming from OP and I think you're right to have concerns.

As others said I think the chewing up of a cushion suggests she's stressed or bored if it isn't something she normally does. If be looking for a new sitter, it would stress me out knowing my dog was somewhere she could get hurt.

Teddykins · 11/06/2019 19:08

You are not over reacting, I would be very worried that your dog isn't being looked after properly, find someone else or get a dogcam as someone else has suggested

TanyaChix · 11/06/2019 20:30

You are paying him so she’s not alone and he’s leaving her alone?! That is outrageous. I wonder if her destruction is down to stress and boredom. A supervised dog wouldn’t even be able to destroy a cushion as it would be removed!

I’d get rid!!!!

Fucksandflowers · 11/06/2019 21:39

I would never use daycare/walkers personally.

I used to for my dog and I will admit she always seemed to absolutely love it and I have no doubt the people running it have good intentions and genuinely love dogs.

But as time went on I saw some things (the company posted videos of the outings) that made me extremely nervous.
So I decided not to take her again.

Sometimes I feel guilty and question if it’s the right decision as every video I’ve seen she looks to be having a nice time and is super excited to go but then I think to some of the shocking interactions I’ve seen of dogs in their care, interactions that I know for a fact if my dog was put in she would fight, and I think no, it’s the right decision.

rayrayx · 11/06/2019 22:36

So many dog walkers/sitters abuse their role. firstly has he got a license to provide daycare at his home? it does depend on the council but my local authority charge £600 for a license to provide dog care at home and have very strict criteria to ensure the safety of each dog. the dogs should never be left alone together unsupervised. i would be fuming. x