To send DD to a school she doesn't like?

[blackcat2345]

DD is due to start secondary school Sep. She didn't get into her 1sf choice so we accepted the 2nd option. However it's just had a pretty appalling OFSTED on many levels and we have made the decision not to send her there.
3rd option also full.

We still have middle schools in this area so went this morning with DD to take a look. Our thinking is that at Yr 9 she could try to get back into 1st choice or go straight to the linked academy school (which is good).

However DD is adamant she doesn't want to go to middle school, probably because she was mentally prepared to go to a large secondary with much older children and sees Middle 'for babies'.
Have tried to sell it that she will still have specialist teachers and it is a much larger school than her current primary but she's still unhappy. She is a really confident, outgoing child and certainly ready for secondary but don't see we have any other options

More of a WWYD than AIBU but would welcome advice.

In that situation I think I'd send her to a good middle school over a dismal secondary. It sounds like from your OP her reasoning is over the fact she was looking forward to secondary rather than over any actual concerns about the middle school. If the ofsted of the secondary was terrible and there are no other options I think I'd insist on the middle school.

I’d make her go. Tell her if she hates it at Christmas you’ll think again.

She doesn’t know whether she likes the school or not yet.
She’s not giving a solid reason for rejecting the school that should be taken into account.

Tell her that middle or secondary, she would be in her year group anyway and won’t notice the difference.

Thank you for your replies, good to know my logic is on track.

You're right DD has no grounds for her dislike; just that it's not secondary school. Could tell from her face soon as we walked in there she wasn't going to be open minded

No way are we going to let her go to a dismal school just for an easy life with an 11 year old! May not be popular but sometimes parents have to do what is best.

What’s bad about the ofsted report? If you thought it was ok before the report, and the reputation was okay, I’d take ofsted with a pinch of salt. There is much wrong with ofsted’s priorities.

at 11 she's too young to make that choice. And I agree with Proseccoinamug - you can switch later if its unbearable

Is home schooling an option for you?
We are in similar circumstances. DD has SEN and didn’t get into the school we chose (1st,2nd or 3rd). She was allocated the failing secondary that no one applied for as it’s been rated inadequate three inspections in a row!
We have refused to send her there and been told no other school in the county is available so we have decided to de register and homeschool until we can get her a place at the 1st school we had applied for.

Lots in the report...
leadership
behaviour
strategies to deal with bullying etc
quality of teaching
staff turnover
progress tracking

I always had my reservations but nothing concrete. This changes everything

I've got a child moving up to secondary this September so I can see from the POV of an 11 year old why middle school would be far less appealing, but it's definitely the best long term solution. Once she actually starts at the school, settles in and makes friends she'll probably be fine, it sounds like she's just disappointed at not going to a proper secondary like her current peers.

Virtually all of her classmates got into their 1st choice school (also DD's 1st choice) so definitely a huge amount of 'being left behind' disappointment. Really hoping she can settle in quickly, but she is larger than life character who struggles to make friends, so may have to rethink further down the line.

She would love to be home schooled but think I would promptly leave the country!

Have you appealed and are you on waiting lists? Are you mid south coast by any chance?

Yes unsuccessful appeal.
We are in the East

Just I know several people that are going through exactly the same. Personally I think the middle school and then into attached academy is better, it can be really tough joining a new school late. Keep ringing up the school (every week) to check you are still on the waiting list there is still lots of movement at this time of year.

Yes you should, but keep her on waiting list for 1st, you may get a place over the summer.

If you are North East as opposed to East (as I don't know anything about that area so can't comment) I would definitely go down the Middle School route!