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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to of stuck a note through the letter box

14 replies

Mommmytobe19 · 10/06/2019 22:38

So I went to visit my dad on Saturday and I was chatting to him and my brother about wanting to move house before my baby’s arrival in December. Brother was telling Me about about a young mum who lives over the road and had came back one day and seemingly packed her belongings and left to get away from an abusive ex, I thought yes bonus, empty house over the road from my dad - perfect! Only problem I didn’t know who the landlord was to enquire.

I asked my brother to go over and have a look in the garden as there is a plot of land next to it and there was a sign up at some point so thought maybe who managed the land managed the house. My brother said in passing the house was totally empty and had been for some time.

Today I left work and nipped up to the house and stuck note through the letter box explaining I was interested in the house and that I had been told it’s been stood empty bla bla here’s my number please call me. No sooner has I pulled my hand back out of the letter box the neighbour came out to say she still lives there and confirmed the Abusive ex story my brother said but said she hadn’t been back in 3-4 weeks but still lives there.

I feel bloody rotten to the core now. The poor girl is probably at her mums taking a breather from it all and how is she going to feel coming back to the house (probably looking over her shoulder re: ex) but to find that note and it looks like I’m trying to muscle her out.

I did look through the window after being told she still lives there (should have looked before with hindsight) and Her sofas and everything is there. Baby bouncers highchairs toys you name it. I feel stupid and terrible. Tried to message her on Facebook to explain but doesn’t look like she used it.

Do you think I should of waited for the let sign to go up before jumping the gun? I feel like I've put more pressure on her 😫

OP posts:
spanishwife · 10/06/2019 22:42

Don't think about it so much, pretend it never happened. What you did isn't completely out of the ordinary, I'm sure she will see it, think 'oh strange' and throw it away. Anything else that you do now will make it so much worse and make her feel paranoid that people are watching and gossiping.

spanishwife · 10/06/2019 22:43

Try not to be so condescending! Yes she is having a rough time but I'm sure she can handle a little note through the door!

MonkeyTrap · 10/06/2019 22:45

I think your note is the least of her worries. Don’t stress.

Userplusnumbers · 10/06/2019 22:46

Why wouldn't you just apologise at the time? Make a joke of it? It seems like given you got into a conversation with her about the abusive ex, it shouldn't have been a particularly deep topic to then explain...

"Oh sorry, I thought it was empty and I quite liked it! You can just get rid of the note in that case"

IvanaPee · 10/06/2019 22:48
Confused

It’s not a big deal.

BuildingQuote · 10/06/2019 22:49

I agree your note is unlikely to matter. And contacting her on Facebook or trying to seems a bit too much so I would just forget about it , and I hope you find the right house.

Also if she does ever move she might let you know now which would be helpful

StillCoughingandLaughing · 10/06/2019 22:50

For heaven’s sake; you thought the house was empty, but it isn’t. You asked the question and it was always going to be one of two answers. You haven’t put a note through the door telling her she had it coming.

CodenameVillanelle · 10/06/2019 22:53

Why wouldn't you just apologise at the time? Make a joke of it? It seems like given you got into a conversation with her about the abusive ex, it shouldn't have been a particularly deep topic to then explain...

I read it as she spoke to the neighbour, not the tenant who lives there

Mommmytobe19 · 10/06/2019 22:54

Yeah probably am over thinking it. If it was the other way around I’d probably not be too bothered but seen as though I know she’s having a rough time I don’t want to add to it.

I know it’s not a massive deal I guess I just needed someone to tell me to stop being silly ha ha supper I’m just more embarrassed than anything!

OP posts:
TheInvestigator · 10/06/2019 23:13

@Userplusnumbers
She spoke to a neighbour, not the woman who lives there who is currently not there due to running away from an abuser.

GeorgiaGirl52 · 10/06/2019 23:19

Maybe she wants to leave that house with bad memories and move closer to her mother? Your offer might be welcomed! It was a well- intentioned action -- forgive yourself.

ParanoidGynodroid · 10/06/2019 23:47

That’s really considerate of you to worry that you may have upset her at a difficult time.
But don’t worry, I’m sure she’ll just chuck the letter away and disregard it. If for any reason she does contact you, you can apologise then.

EmeraldShamrock · 11/06/2019 00:00

I honestly wouldn't worry about it, good rental property's are like hens teeth, it was an opportunity to check.
You never know you may have found a new friend, I hope something comes up in the area.
It was a misunderstanding, no harm done.
It was a good thing you didn't glare in the window, that'd be embarrassing. Grin

EmeraldShamrock · 11/06/2019 00:02

Pop another note, to say you didn't realise she still lived there, to put her mind at ease, she may be worried you'll track down the landlord, most landlords don't like tenants leaving the property unoccupied.

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