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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

..to think I have the ultimate neighbour from hell

17 replies

Eatcabbage · 10/06/2019 20:11

I either need some support, or to be told to shut up and stop feeling sorry for myself.

  • firstly, she is cohabiting with a convicted paedophile, despite having young children living either side of her
  • she has cost each of her neighbours nearly a thousand pounds in unnecessary repair bills, by relentlessly bulling us to the point of capitulation
  • I have had to spend thousands of pounds in legal fees to defend myself against her threats, which my solicitor has described as bullying and emotionally abusive
  • there is a constant feed of nit-picking and demands, by email, text, message and now letter as I have blocked the others

The neighbours the other side are moving to get away from her, but I am trapped because of the threats she has made against my property.

Ugh!

OP posts:
BobbyBrewstersMagicTorch · 10/06/2019 20:13

Check the terms of the convicted paedophile's licence. I'm sure that if he's on the sex offender's register then he shouldn't be able to live near to children.

Original poster
Eatcabbage · 10/06/2019 20:18

Thanks Bobby - how do I check that?
I've just found an article saying that he was ordered to sign the sex offenders register for 10 years, but I think that has probably just run out, as my child is the same age. He's been here on and off throughout his life. I only recently found out. Bloody neighbour. She even encouraged the neighbours with children to spend time with him at barbecues etc. Sickening.

OP posts:
TixieLix · 10/06/2019 20:22

Sounds awful OP and horrid knowing you have a paedophile next door. What do you mean by "threats against your property "?

Walkamileinmyshoesbeforeujudge · 10/06/2019 20:24

Ring Ss...

Mooey89 · 10/06/2019 20:27

Tbh it’s probably better to live next to a known sex offender than an unknown one.

He is not likely to have license conditions about living near children, the conditions will be to do with visiting children/children living with him.

Sorry no advice, just to say that although it must feel horrible, it’s safer to know who lives next door than have Mr Nice and have no idea

Original poster
Eatcabbage · 10/06/2019 20:27

She's started a boundary dispute as she wants part of my garden.
She has no claim to it and despite having no grounds whatsoever to take it, and having been provided with significant evidence to prove it, she will not stop. Apparently it's a common tactic to try and force something like this, where there are no legal grounds to win otherwise, by trying to financially cripple the other party.

OP posts:
MissConductUS · 10/06/2019 20:34

Don't you have a "loser pays" rule for suits like this in the UK, just to discourage merit-less claims?

tolerable · 10/06/2019 20:35

crippling the other party doesnt have to include living with a (child)sex offender.how much garden?

FartMachine · 10/06/2019 20:38

That’s awful Sad. I don’t think it’s possible to fully understand how unhappy a bad neighbour can make you until you have one.

We moved last year, partly due to a completely bonkers neighbour. She wasn’t even next door, but opposite a few doors down. She shouldn’t have been living on her own, she was just mad. She once had a barbecue inside her house and a few weeks later got drunk, knocked down all the internal walls and threw them into the middle of the road. I still occasionally look on the local fb page of my old area and she’s still causing chaos.

fecketyfeck21 · 10/06/2019 20:49

does she rent or is she buying ? can you speak to local p.c.s.o about the threats so they can have a word ? possibly the council too ?

prh47bridge · 10/06/2019 20:51

Don't you have a "loser pays" rule for suits like this in the UK, just to discourage merit-less claims

Yes we do. In civil cases the loser normally has to pay the winner's legal costs. However, sometimes one side can get round this by deliberately prolonging things so that the other side runs out of money before the case gets to court.

OP - have you considered reporting her to the police for harassment? You should also talk to your solicitor about whether you can take action under the Protection from Harassment Act.

Original poster
Eatcabbage · 10/06/2019 20:52

"Don't you have a "loser pays" rule for suits like this in the UK, just to discourage merit-less claims?"
Only if it goes to court, which would be a huge expense, very stressful and take years.

"How much garden?"
It's not a massive garden, but it would be a big upheaval - digging up a tree, pulling down a stone wall, losing half of my plants and re-sighting an oil tank. It's not just a simple matter of losing a bit of grass. It doesn't bear thinking about. It would destroy the garden.

OP posts:
Original poster
Eatcabbage · 10/06/2019 20:57

"OP - have you considered reporting her to the police for harassment? You should also talk to your solicitor about whether you can take action under the Protection from Harassment Act."

I don't think the police want to get involved with boundary stuff, and I don't know how easy it is to prove emotional abuse? With my ex, the police advised I press charges against him and take him to court, but I'd had enough stress by that point.
In this case, an example would be her having her solicitors write me another threatening letter, and then leaving a bunch of flowers and a poem outside my door, saying she didn't understand why I looked sad and that she wanted to try and cheer me up and be a supportive friend to me.

OP posts:
SusieOwl4 · 10/06/2019 20:59

I don't know what to say - it must be very difficult . How can she afford the legal fees herself do you think to fight a boundary case ?

SwimmerGirl40 · 10/06/2019 21:01

@Eatcabbage
Not much to add, other than you have my sympathies, as someone else said - difficult to understand unless you have lived through it.

I had neighbours from hell. They were renting but the landlord refused to do anything about it. When they found out we had complained they made loads of petty complaints to the council about smoke alarms going off once a week etc. The noise sounded like DV, instigated by the woman but there were two kids in there. I sold up and reported them to the police, social services and the NSPCC. Also reported the landlord to HMRC as he took their rent payments in cash.

I went back to drop off a card for my friend and other neighbour. They had moved out in the middle of the night and dumped most of their stuff in the bin area - tv, kids cot, all sorts.

Original poster
Eatcabbage · 10/06/2019 21:02

Her paedophile (ex?) husband's money and pay out from his pension, the latter being over £120,000. She was mortgage free even before this, so is clearly very happy to spend money to get what she wants.

OP posts:
SynchroSwimmer · 10/06/2019 21:07

You can go online to the Gov Land Registry - and pay a small fee to download your boundary plans...and those of any neighbours too....

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