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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Friend asking for opinion on tattoo?

25 replies

bluebird2525 · 10/06/2019 17:35

A close friend of mine is asking opinion on a big tattoo he wants to get, I personally think it's tacky and would be a regret long term - would you be honest or just say it's nice if they really wanted it?

OP posts:
TinselTimes · 10/06/2019 17:36

I’d hedge my bets a bit - so ask questions rather than make statements ie “I don’t know, do you think you might regret it in future?” “What do you think other people will think when they see it?” rather than outright saying it’s a bad idea.

That way you can still be polite and supportive if he goes ahead and gets it.

pinkyredrose · 11/06/2019 09:40

What's the tattoo? Does he have any others?

nokidshere · 11/06/2019 10:07

For a close friend I would absolutely say I didn't like it and and ask if s/he sure they won't regret it in years to come, although I would also add that I am not the one who would be living with it and if they have thought it through and are happy then go for it.

GruciusMalfoy · 11/06/2019 10:11

I'd try and be honest but kind about it. "I'm only saying this because you asked my opinion, and because I love you. But I think you could regret it in the future."

lilpumpsmum · 11/06/2019 10:11

I would say something like

"The thing about tattoos, they are SO personal. But if you love it the. You love it! Personally I think it's a bit too big for my liking and I'd be worried that you would regret that particular design"

Also make sure they understand exactly how important it is to find a brilliant tattoo artist, and be prepared to wait weeks/months on the waiting list and pay A LOT of money. It's forever, so it's worth doing research!

Chamomileteaplease · 11/06/2019 10:11

I would ask him "do you want me to be honest?" Then you know how to reply.

Peachsummer · 11/06/2019 10:16

I’d just say it’s not really my taste, it depends whether you like it and want it done. They’re not really asking for your opinion - they want you to support the choice they’ve already made. Because if they didn’t want it they wouldn’t be asking if they should get it.

ShartGoblin · 11/06/2019 10:25

I think @lilpumpsmum has given the perfect response. It says what you need to say while still sounding positive so they won't feel hurt if they go ahead.

Jsmith99 · 11/06/2019 10:33

If it was a close friend, I would be honest, but tactful. Anyone who knows me well is already aware that I am really not a fan of tattoos, so they wouldn’t be surprised by my reaction.

AdobeWanKenobi · 11/06/2019 11:14

I'd tell her what I told DD.

Set the image as the lock screen on your phone. If you're still happy looking at it 6 months down the line, go for it.

Gth1234 · 11/06/2019 11:55

all tattoos are horrible.

Pinkmouse6 · 11/06/2019 11:57

I’d be honest. A colleague of DP’s just paid a grand for a humongous skull on his back, it looks fucking awful and DP told him it did Grin.

all tattoos are horrible.

Subjective and not factual. Many are beautiful pieces of art, some are just tacky mistakes.

AdobeWanKenobi · 11/06/2019 12:01

Wonderfully constructive there Gth1234 thanks for imparting your very important opinion on us.

tttigress · 11/06/2019 12:15

Does this person have any other Tatt's? Is it going to be visible?

I think I would go for the approach that other posters have said, subtly say you don't like the idea.

Even if you can't dissuade them from getting the tattoo, I would at least try to get then to go for a placement that isn't visible most of the time.

Gth1234 · 11/06/2019 12:30

Thank you all for your complimentary responses. It was a carefully considered posting. :)

PregnantSea · 11/06/2019 13:04

It depends... Do you have a brutally honest policy in your friendship? (ie is he the sort of friend who would tell you to change your outfit before leaving because it doesn't look good) Does he have many other tattoos? Is he quite sensitive?

Also you can be tactfully honest. Saying it's tacky and you don't like it is actually pretty meaningless and can come off as hurtful, especially if he goes ahead with it anyway. There will be very specific reasons why you find it tacky so pick out the reasons rather than saying it's tacky - it's quite big, the design isn't very clear, loads of other people have the same one etc.

tttigress · 11/06/2019 17:15

One more thought. The fact he is canvassing opinions means that he is not certain, and most have a few doubts. So I would have thought this is quite likely to mean he will have regrets. He might be quite respective to your opinions.

mabelsgarden · 11/06/2019 17:17

I am not a massive fan of tats (sorry to any who have them,) but I wouldn't usually say anything.

Howeverrr, if someone ASKED me my opinion, I would be honest and say 'no' and try and put them off..

Poloshot · 11/06/2019 17:20

Just tell him tattoos are for scutters.

steff13 · 11/06/2019 17:23

I would ask him "do you want me to be honest?" Then you know how to reply.

I think if you asked, "do you want me to be honest?" no further reply is necessary. You wouldn't ask that if you liked it, would you?

mabelsgarden · 11/06/2019 17:27

@Poloshot Tattoos are for Scutters??

Friend asking for opinion on tattoo?
Cryalot2 · 11/06/2019 17:33

I have a small tattoo . It is coverable if I ever felt that way ( I haven't)
I got it when I was 40 and have no regrets whatsoever. My only issue is other people who generalise that folk with them are tacky ,trashy and whatever else.
Depends on the tattoo, size ,site and what it is .

Guadalquivir19 · 11/06/2019 17:33

Depending on his job, I'd approach it from a professional angle. I work in a formal work environment & huge, visible tattoos are frowned upon. Let him know that if he has the tattoo done in a discreet area like his back or legs, he's got the option to cover up if needed.

My friend has a tattoo on her lower arms & in the summer she has to wear long sleeve shirts for work. She's not very happy about it as she's menopausal atm but that's the rules in her work place. Often people have their tattoos done whilst younger etc without considering the impact on their future lives. Some tattoos like facial/neck tattoos make a very strong statement and can be limiting to future employment prospects.

MitziK · 11/06/2019 17:47

Try and separate opinions about tattoos as a whole with a fair assessment of the design and placement.

That way, you can tell him you think it's 'not really him' or 'I'm not sure that would work/suit' without alienating him. And if it's a shit one somewhere really obvious, you can say 'I think that would look better on [somewhere where it will ordinarily be covered up by clothing]'.

What sort of design/style/placement is it that he's thinking of?

RickJames · 11/06/2019 17:56

Tell him what you think. A family member of mine got an absolute shocker and then asked me what I thought. It was awful trying to be nice about it. Awful tattoo, horrible on the body part. Just awful.
Similarly I got a wrist tattoo one day when I was hypomanic. I still love it because it's fairly untacky or sentimental but because it's my wrist and I'm busy, the lines spread a bit so now it looks quite old and sailor-ish.
I've only had compliments on it but it looks a bit bad ass Grin it's very visible.
I should have had it not on a busy limb joint so it would have healed better. And I shouldn't have just jumped out of bed and run to the tattoo shop!
A back piece is basically a scar for life. I know people with incredible, beautiful pieces but your mate deserves your honesty before it's permanent.

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