Father's Day when you don't get on with ex

[username819]

More of a what to get for DS's dad. DS is only 2 so doesn't understand concept of Fathers Day and can't really choose anything but I still want him to get him something.

Money is tight at the minute and ex and I don't get along (I feel like that's relevant in choosing a gift but prepared to be told it's not!). He's been pretty nasty to me though.

I'm just not sure what to get- a card doesn't feel like it'd do?

I think it's nice of you to even get a card. :)

What about a picture of his son in a nice frame? You can pick up frames in ikea for less than a couple of quid.

could you maybe just get your DS to make a card and put a nice photo of DS in a frame or something?

What did your ex do for you for mother’s day in March? That seems like a good starting point. Do something with similar effort required.

What about a card with DS's hand printed in paint and then you guide ds's hand to write love from son? Or a picture of them together stuck on a card and again do the 'writing' thing.

Something I did for my parents when son was really young was a painting - his first one in mother and toddlers group. Loads of colours, just paint going everywhere - you'll have to monitor it a bit or you'll have a brown mess! I framed it and it is still in their living room 17 years on!

Personally I've never bothered.
I echo a PP in asking what he did for mother's Day?

Fuck all under those circumstances.

A card is sufficient, I'm assuming he didn't do much for Mother's Day or you wouldn't be asking.

I was wondering what he did for Mother's day too. A card is a nice gesture.

I second the ‘make your own card’.
So many of them in the supermarket have sentiments that don’t ring true for an absent dad

Given that you don't get on and he said being nasty to you, I wouldn't even give him a card, let alone a gift.

Ignore me then - this is why I'm in the mess I'm in I expect although my boys do get their own gifts now for people. Maybe I did something right!

I remember my dad expected my mum to sort us out with gifts for HIS parents for Christmas, as well as Father’s Day and birthday stuff when they divorced. He of course never dreamed that he should do the same for her

I am quite indifferent to my ex-husband nowadays and he’s been a crap dad. E.g he didn’t notice for a year that we’d moved 100 miles away! Didn’t pay maintenance for 5 years blah blah blah. Anyhow, DS likes to get him a card but it has to be really bland and not too gushy as most of them say ‘amazing dad’ ‘fantastic dad’ neither of which he is. Managed to find this year’s boring one yesterday in Card Factory 😂

Create a frame with your child and put a photo in it, or how about hand and foot prints of child(paint and paper required) with a little poem. My mum had this from school from my brother about tiny fingers toes etc she loved it and still has it now I believe(his 30) doesn't have to cost much just get creative

Funky Pigeon, Moonpig etc. are helpful for this, we've edited the mushy wording out of cards before. My dc are older so a handmade one isn't an option. I've continued to get gifts and cards for my ex's family as they're dc's family but obviously he's not included it's just from dc. I make sure they have a Fathers Day card to give him, but if he doesn't make an effort to see them he won't get his card, we don't post it. Same for his birthday, he usually gets a small gift at Christmas.

I usually get DS to make him a card but I don't spend money unless I have to! I tried to be nice the first Fathers Day but it wasn't acknowledged, appreciated or reciprocated.

Gift card/tix for an activity they can do together?

I would have DS draw a picture and that's it to be honest. When kids are old enough to understand its nice for them to help choose and give a gift to their dad since DS is so little buying something will be pointless.

I don’t get my ex anything. Infact he asked me not to! Not everyone wants something.

A card is more than sufficient I’d say. My exH didn’t bother with mother’s day so he’ll be getting nothing from DD this Father’s Day unless his fiancée sorts it. (Or if she makes a card at school he can have that I’m not a monster)

I don’t get him anything, he wouldn’t think to get me anything 🤷🏻‍♀️.

Nothing sounds good to me.

Agree that if he recognised your efforts on Mother's Day then you should do similar. Otherwise don't bother especially if money is tight.

I am going to give Father's Day as much recognition as my DS' father gave to Mother's Day: bugger all. Particularly as he doesn't do any parenting anyway.