Childcare

[Bramblesheep]

I'm a SAHM by choice.

Friend that lives close wants to go back to work part time and has asked if I'd have her three daughters in the mornings and take to school. Same school as my DS. I drop at school first then drive my DD to preschool.

Am I really mean to say no? I don't need the money and two of the girls are quite a handful.

We have fairly chilled mornings which is one of the benefits of me not working. Sometimes my kids don't get up til 745 and she wants to drop off at 715am.

She's not a close friend more of a kids at the same school and lives near friend.

I just feel bad for saying no for no reason other than I don't actually want to! AIBU to say no?

No of course yanbu.

“I’m sorry that doesn’t work for us”.

All you need.

YANBU.

That is possibly the cheekiest thing I have ever heard.

Definitely say no!

You're not being mean...three kids is a lot!

I wouldn't make up an excuse because people always try to work around it. I'd say, "sorry I won't be able to help, it will be too much for me to handle".

No that’s sounds awful. I’d just say no.

Say no. I wouldn’t do this. Mornings are hectic enough and even though you are getting ready it’s still family time. Adding on two more would be a huge imposition for you. If she needed you to do it once or twice that would be one thing but not on a regular basis. As awkward as it feels to say no the fact is that you are NOT responsible for this woman’s new job or her childcare arrangements. Even if she were a good friend I wouldn’t do it.

Say no, you have no plans to be a childminder!

You are not being unreasonable. Just say sorry but you can't because that won't work for your family. You don't neensyi explain why.

Just saw that it’s THREE kids, not two. No f’ing way!

The point is, you and your partner are making sacrifices to do what you think is best for your children, not hers.

Sorry typos! You don't need to explain why.

I'd be happy to help in an emergency but not a regular commitment. In the morning I like time to chat to my DC, make sure they're organised for their day etc. I wouldn't want to be dealing with 3 extra children every day. I'd just say that it's too much of a commitment.

Not unreasonable at all

She’s offering to pay at least, but still...
“Thanks for offer. I’m not going to be able to do that but I’ll definitely try to help out in emergencies. Ps check out local facebay pages as I often see people advertising childminding services x”
Or along those lines

Don't do it.
I'm a childminder and having other children in your home to take to school every day is a big commitment. That's why childminders and breakfast clubs charge for this service.
What happens if your son is off sick or you are ill? Or if he has a doctors appointment or something similar before school. Will she still expect you to take her children?
What is she planning for school holidays? Possibly you having them for the day instead...
I'm also guessing with a 7.15am drop off you will be giving them breakfast too.
It's also not just one extra child, it's 3.
Getting 4 kids out the door on time and to school is not necessarily going to be easy.

Just say no you can’t do that. If she questions just say it doesn’t suit you.

Would she expect you to have them in school holidays too??

I missed that she had offered to pay you. It’s not cheeky, but just say no, thank you.

Hahaha haha

Definetley do not say yes!

"Hi, I'm sorry, I wouldn't be able to commit to an arrangement like that, mornings are pretty hectic as it is, so I wouldn't be able to take the girls. Hope you find someone suitable, I think a couple of childmind3rs drop at the school may be worth catching them see if they have spaces".

say no. it's a huge commitment for something you dont really want to do

I'd be happy to help in an emergency

I wouldn't say that to be honest

That would be 3 kids for about 1.5 hours every morning. a childminder would charge about £25 for that, making that a favour worth more than £400 per month. No!
plus, how would you fit 5 kids in childseats in a car?
no, not working for you!

Just no!

WTAF?! NO. 'Unfortunately, I can't accommodate that.' Just text or message her, do not let her pin you to some face-to-face conversation if you have mug tendencies or one of those people who 'hate confrontation' or have anxiety etc. She's tried to pin you, you tell her 'Gotta dash' or something like that.

She's not a close friend more of a kids at the same school and lives near friend.

This says it all. She's a user and has tried you on as her next target. You won't get the first one she's approached to ask, I'll bet, and she'd never pay you what she would have to for a qualified minder to do the job because you're 'just a mum' and she's a CFer.

The fact that you're even swithering about telling her NO shows says a lot, too.

'No, that doesn't work for our family'. 'No, I'm not available for that.'

And do NOT offer emergency care.

I would say no and not feel bad about it, it would be very disruptive on your mornings.

For a good friend I would offer to help out in emergencies, but not for an acquaintance.

If she offered to pay and agreeably accepts you declining, I don't think cheeky to politely ask though. Some SAHM would want to earn extra cash, and I know a few people who have been happy to make similar arrangements.

OMG.
Do not do this. You don't want to anyway.
Legally you can look after someone else's child for 1hr and 58 minutes a day
BUT if you get paid anything/given flowers or chocs or the parent "returns the favour" this is then deemed to be "childminding" and if you are not registered both you and the parent could each be fined up to 10k. Also if God forbid there was any sort of accident there is room for interpretation of neglect (her part) but if she said you were looking after her child she might sue you.