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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To be hacked off with social services...

42 replies

sparklygothkat · 23/07/2007 20:11

DD1 has been having shared care now for 2 years, she has 24 hours a months (3x8 hours) which is currently used as 3 saturdays a month. Anyhooo they have decided that it would be better for the carer to have it as one 24 hour block session, but this means that DS and Dd2 would only benifit from it for 10 ish hours a month, as the rest of the time, they would be asleep or getting ready to pick up dd1 the following morning.

Recieved a review letter today and they have said that its all be agreed that it will go to 24 hour block session, with 3 hours for a tea session, yet we were under the impression that me and DH could discuss this beofre it was fully agreed. I have to take Dd1 to her carer's house and pick her up as the carer doesn't drive and I lose time doing this.

I phoned the duty social worker and explained that I didn't think that it would benifit the family to change the hours.

they also said that it would be a more consistant arrangement for dd1, how can it be more consistant when she is currently going 3 saturdays a month, and suddenly it will drop to one weekend a month?? As far as I can see, it will only benifit the carer rather than us.

So AIBU??

OP posts:

TheArmadillo · 23/07/2007 20:14

YANBU

That is a huge change.

Maybe the same amount of hours technically but must make a huge difference.

Is there any way you can change it?

Original poster

sparklygothkat · 23/07/2007 20:18

Have spoken to the duty SW and explained my reasons for not changing the hours, and she said she can understand that and will discuss that with her manager. I just can't see how we will benifit from it tbh

OP posts:

rantinghousewife · 23/07/2007 20:19

Definitely NOT BU, I might be tempted to give them the dictionary definition of consistent tbh, as they don't seem to understand the meaning of it.

FioFio · 23/07/2007 20:21

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Original poster

sparklygothkat · 23/07/2007 20:22

My sister who is works for SS said that they are only thinking about the carer, rather than DD1. dd1 finds it hard to understand that the carer has 1 weekend off a month atm, and we have huge meltdowns the weekend she doesn't go, so how can dd1 understand that she would only be going 1 weekend a month!!

OP posts:

Original poster

sparklygothkat · 23/07/2007 20:24

They did say that we might be able to get direct payments on top of the shared care, but we can't use it to pay the current carer, as she (and I quote) 'does too much on top of her full time job and being a single parent'

OP posts:

edam · 23/07/2007 20:24

YANBU. Herts is supposed to be a shining example when it comes to services for carers (hah!). They have beacon status from the Audit Commission. So if they continue to give you hassle, worth mentioning that you know this and expect them to live up their reputation... or might think about informing the Audit Commission that actually, in reality, they stomp all over existing arrangements and take it into their head to make changes without even consulting you.

Director of Children, Schools and Families (ie children's social services) is apparently called John Harris if you need to complain.

edam · 23/07/2007 20:26

None of their business how many hours the carer chooses to work, unless, of course, she has said she wants to change the arrangement. In which case they should be finding you someone else who can suit your needs - it's your dd and family who they should be supporting, not the carer!

Original poster

sparklygothkat · 23/07/2007 20:27

I was happy for it to go to overnights, if we were going to get extra hours, I never thought they would just change it from 3 saturdays to one weekend..

OP posts:

CarGirl · 23/07/2007 20:28

perhaps direct payment is the way to go and find someone who will have her ever Saturday for 6 hours????

Original poster

sparklygothkat · 23/07/2007 20:30

Apparently she does 'more than any of our other fulltime workers do, in term of shared care' She took it on knowing the hours.. in fact we are owed nearly 200 hours respite as she didn;t have Dd1 for 8 months last year due to fmaily problems, but we can kiss them goodbye apparently..

OP posts:

Original poster

sparklygothkat · 23/07/2007 20:31

It used to be 6 hours every saturday but SS changed it so that the carer could have a weekend off..

OP posts:

CarGirl · 23/07/2007 20:31

Direct payment and get 2 carers who do alternate weeks for exactly those reasons, and yes if you don't use it you lose it! Stinks doesn't it

Original poster

sparklygothkat · 23/07/2007 20:32

Yep it stinks, especially as it wasn't down to us that dd1 wasn't going..

OP posts:

Original poster

sparklygothkat · 23/07/2007 20:35

also I am pregnant, and need more support now and when the baby is born, not less..

OP posts:

Original poster

sparklygothkat · 23/07/2007 20:39

I did talk to the carer on saturday about it and said I wasn't happy for the hours to change, and I think she was a bit hacked off..

Also on the report it said that the carer questioned whether DD1 had learning problems... haha!! she is working below her peers, she got 1s and Ws in her SATs, is on a statement for her learning.. yes I think she has learning problems...

OP posts:

edam · 23/07/2007 20:43

sounds like you need to get rid of this carer and find a better one, tbh. SS should be doing that, not pandering to the one you've got just because she works for them. YOU are the client.

Original poster

sparklygothkat · 23/07/2007 20:46

Thing is Dd1 loves her.. and she is a good carer, but little things are getting to me now. Also I don;t think its fair to change carers now for dd1's sake.

I did ask at the Special need playscheme today if anyone who works there would be interested in working as a carer for us, on direct payments, so hopefully we will be able to get more support.

OP posts:

edam · 23/07/2007 20:47

Would it be a good compromise for dd1 if this carer could do one session and you have others with new carers? Or would that not work?

Original poster

sparklygothkat · 23/07/2007 20:48

Thats why I asked at the playscheme, because Dd1 knows all the staff and I trust them. I wouldn't want to just get anyone in to help IYKWIM.

OP posts:

Original poster

sparklygothkat · 23/07/2007 23:51

and what reallys gets to me, is that DS and Dd2 and baby (when it comes) will only benifit for 10 hours, rather than the 24 hours they benifit from now. How can this possibly benifit us as a family?

OP posts:

doormat · 23/07/2007 23:55

agree with edam you are the client and your families interests are best at the moment
i would make a complaint to SS regarding the SW
good luck
xxx

Original poster

sparklygothkat · 24/07/2007 00:02

I hate complaining about the SW and the carer, as when they are helpful, they are great, but it does feel that the SW only thinks about the carer and not us..

OP posts:

doormat · 24/07/2007 00:04

but the fact is it is your child that matters in all this and yourselves as a family
our sw is crap he hasnt even explained about direct payments to us, he is a twonk lol

Original poster

sparklygothkat · 24/07/2007 00:11

It even said in the report taht me and DH are concerned that one weekend would not provide enough support, yet they still cleared it to go ahead so they are not thinking about our comments.

OP posts:

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