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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have a family bbq for DD instead of kids party

21 replies

Napqueen1234 · 09/06/2019 20:32

Just that really. Only child 2nd birthday. We have a small terrace with teeny garden so couldn’t really host do would have to organise it in a venue/soft play/park. July birthday so instead were planning on inviting family and godparents (as close friends!) for a relaxed bbq at home. No other kids though. Would that be ‘mean’? Friends all seem to be having wild big 2nd birthday parties but tbh DD won’t have a clue will she

OP posts:
DonnaDarko · 09/06/2019 20:33

This is what we did last year and we're planning something similar this year. I don't think big birthday parties are that important until their 4 or 5!

VeniVidiViciTwice · 09/06/2019 20:35

Not mean at all. At this age the parties are more for the parents than the children! Enjoy your bbq!

Mrsjayy · 09/06/2019 20:35

No she won't have a clue enjoy her birthday how you want you can worry abput parties when she is at school

daffodilbrain · 09/06/2019 20:36

She's not at an age to just want her friends round. She'll love all the adults attention. I'd go for it c

TillyTheTiger · 09/06/2019 20:37

We've done that for DS 1st, 2nd and 3rd birthday parties. He starts pre-school in September so I think we'll have to start doing the big kids parties with his friends in future, but up until now he's always had an amazing time with his family on his birthday.

BendingSpoons · 09/06/2019 20:38

That's what we did at 2 and 3. Certainly at 2 I think DD preferred the undivided attention of her grandparents to other children and only really cared about the cake!

winesolveseverything · 09/06/2019 20:38

Sounds like a great idea. We stuck to family parties until they reached reception age...

Kids parties add up so fast when you factor in everything from hall hire to party bags- and the children don't remember...

There will be plenty of time for birthday parties when they start school...

user1493413286 · 09/06/2019 20:39

I haven’t had parties for my DDs first or second birthday; I’ve had family over or days out. Obviously nothing wrong with kids parities but I hope to wait until she’s school age to have a proper kids party.

katienana · 09/06/2019 20:41

Definitely not unreasonable, I've only done tea parties for mine did my first full class party this year for ds in y1. Hoping to get out of it this year and offer a trip to legoland instead!

ifoundthebread · 09/06/2019 20:42

Exactly what we have done for dd last 3 years, will be doing the same this year. Will start doing parties with school friends etc for her 5th once she's in school full time and has a set class list.

Normandy144 · 09/06/2019 20:45

YANBU! Parties for kids aged 1-3 are pretty pointless. They won't remember it, they also won't have a yardstick to compare their birthday to. A family BBQ with godparents sounds fab. Absolutely no need to invite any nursery friends etc, you have plenty of time for that at 4,5,6th birthday's. We always did family tea parties at home for birthday's 1 to 3, then did a party at home aged 4 with a small group of pre school friends. Parties 4th and 5th were the soft play/village hall masses of kids type affairs. Stick to your guns, it's not mean in the slightest.

Normandy144 · 09/06/2019 20:47

That should be parties 5th and 6th were soft play/village halls!

TheCatDidSay · 09/06/2019 20:48

Frankly as family I’d rather no get together at all. It’s for you the adult not the child it serves to make you feel good.

SuzieQ10 · 09/06/2019 20:50

Sounds lovely.
You could always have a separate afternoon tea / play date with a couple of other toddlers (and their mums or parents) sometime around her bday, she might enjoy that. Doesn't have to be anything big at all. Simpler the better.

reluctantbrit · 09/06/2019 20:53

We had a joint "party" with a friend, due to small houses we had a picnic in the park. Brought blankets, some toys, cake and drinks.

DD was already in nursery and there were several proper birthday parties but I found that far too much at that age.

MatchSetPoint · 09/06/2019 21:02

It sounds like a much better idea than a party! I think it’s sounds really nice and your child will enjoy staying at hone playing with her new gifts and soaking up the attention!

TestingTestingWonTooFree · 09/06/2019 21:04

We didn’t do a big party until 4 when she was asking for it.

Pixie2015 · 09/06/2019 21:05

Sounds perfect - we has DS favourite meal for his second birthday - spaghetti and rice pudding 😋

anothernotherone · 09/06/2019 21:05

My eldest actually did have a notion about birthday parties when she turned 2 - she was quite precocious verbally (all evens out over the next few years but at coming up to 2 her language skills were very strong) and I was lucky to have a really supportive, close antenatal class group with whom we'd continued to spend large amounts of time. DD was the last baby born in the group and by her birthday she'd been asking each evening for a while whether it was her birthday party tomorrow! She very much expected her friends to be there. Which was a bugger as we moved abroad just before her birthday Shock

We used her birthday to get to know the neighbor's and threw a party on the drive with borrowed tables and benches (also tiny garden) and with the house open, and invited everyone we met with toddlers in the village playground, and had lots of people there, including toddlers, but not her "friends". She was absolutely satisfied that a birthday party had occurred Grin

Bit unconventional but it's stood us in good stead with neighborhood relationships for the nearly 12 years since so it was worth it. Made a big impact especially as I was 38 weeks pregnant and had dc2 the next day Grin

I think 2 year old's parties can be used to entertain family or parents friends but it depends what sort of 2 year old you have - some are basically toddling babies and others are spooky little mini humans with their own slightly odd expectations...

If your DD will have been to lots of your friends children's wild toddler parties in the weeks immediately before her birthday she may, or of course might not, have her own funny little rigid picture of a similar thing happening for her. If she's that kind of nearly 2 year old I'd rustle up a few toddlers to attend and a little paddling pool or ball pool and mini toddler slide or similar. You can do that with the family party, it doesn't have to be either or at 2 (the way it definitely does have to be either or by school age).

mathanxiety · 09/06/2019 21:11

Of course it isn't mean.

Your 2 year old won't give a hoot. Your family will enjoy a BBQ.

babysharkah · 09/06/2019 21:42

Didn't do a friends party until the 5th for dts. They're not scarred by it!

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