I separated from my exH about 11 years ago. At the time he was an alcoholic and he was abusive in texts etc. Accused me of sleeping around, reported me to the police for threatening him (BS), generally unpleasant. Tbh I've blocked most of it from my memory.
We have a child together and so have always been in regular contact. He's a dedicated dad and has almost always put our DC first.
Since we separated he has collapsed more than once, sought treatment for his alcoholism, had throat cancer, got the all clear and more recently been in and out of hospital with sepsis and pneumonia. He is a shadow of his former self and appears to be wasting away. He is awaiting the results of another biopsy.
I can hardly think about it without wanting to cry and I feel like a fraud. We're not friends but we are in constant contact. I'm not sure if I'm crying for our son, because of the waste of his young life or for myself. My DH is very understanding. It's weird, grieving for someone whom you don't love but have known for 20+ years