Low male libido . . . Marriage in trouble!

[AnnieLouJ67]

Am I the only wife on this planet who has a husband with very low libido? Testosterone tested and all ok.
I’m at the end of my tether, I’ve compromised, been kind and understanding, given him space . . .
I’m about to throw in the towel! Argh!

No, you’re not the only one!

Ooh I guess you don't hear of this as much but I know it can happen. How long has it been like this for? How is his mood as I know depression can be a trigger .

I married someone who I think is asexual. He only did anything when pressed or he would initiate if he had been drinking. And it was very bog standard and seemed inexperienced and awkward every time.

To be honest, if I was still with him now, it would work out because I now have a super low drive.

My wonderful partner hasn't a high drive either but until he loses weight I'm not interested because he has squashes me so heavily I threw up

You're not alone. I'm finding it increasingly frustrating as my libido keeps going up whilst his decreases. He made an effort to dtd (once) after I got really emotional and all came spilling out recently when he asked why I was so upset, but probably thinks he doesn't need to bother for another month or so now. At 38, the thought of the rest of my life being like this is a tad depressing. He is just happy without and seemingly oblivious to my needs, despite being very supportive and lovely in every other aspect of life.

You're not on your own

You're not alone. My dp has had a low sex drive our entire relationship, I think he is happy with the fact mines almost disappeared with pregnancy 😂.
Are you intimate in other ways? I know sex is a big deal, but physicality isn't the be all and end all.

If you haven't already have a look at investing in some good toys, love honey is a really good place to start.

You’re not alone. I keep wanting to burst into tears as it gets closer to the time we go to bed as I know I’ll get a peck on the lips and a hug goodnight before he falls asleep.

We had a conversation last year (having gone from most nights to almost never) in which he said he just doesn’t think about it any more, and I wanted to say “but what about me?” No more conversations about it since really, but it’s not easy to broach the subject without feeling really selfish.

At the moment I carry on and try to pretend it’s not that important, while still hoping that things get better one day...

Twice this year...

A really good vibrator? A Hitachi? Or simply your fingers?

I think it really depends on whether it's a lack of intimacy as well... A nice, full body massage (each other) followed by you getting yourself off might be fulfilling as well?
Idk.

we are almost celibate because of his low libido and diabetes. In fact diabetes meds have made it better , not worse

Wrong way round! Diabetes meds have made his libido and performance worse , not better.
I say almost celibate..it's like maybe every few months and a lot of effort and obviously out of 'duty' on his part :(

Nope, DH has a really low sex drive, not helped by poor mental health. We haven’t had any kind of sex in five years.

I actually don’t mind. I have a low sex drive too and luckily the rest of our relationship is great.