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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To be starting to feel angry about this?

39 replies

Idontwanttobeaman · 09/06/2019 17:38

People keep mistaking me for a man at work. I do wear an unflattering uniform and a baseball cap and I do have short grey hair - but I do have large breasts and a name badge with a female name on it.. it SHOULD be obvious that I am female.. but every day I get called "son" or "sonny" several times and today a child asked their mum if I was a man or a woman. It was funny at first, but it's really starting to upset me now and make me think that I am terribly masculine. I'm not Kim Kardashian for sure but I'm not Desperate Dan either.

OP posts:

Cryalot2 · 09/06/2019 20:19

That is awful I would be upset too.
Sadly nothing to add that hasn't already been said.

Original poster

Idontwanttobeaman · 09/06/2019 20:22

Oh, I get called mate a lot too.

A few weeks ago a woman said to her child "the man is going to wipe the table for us".

I'm in the UK.

OP posts:

PeevedNiamh · 09/06/2019 20:28

My son gets mistaken for a girl frequently. He has long hair. That is all. He doesn't look like a girl. People just don't really look at other people that much, try not to let it get to you too much.

lorribella · 09/06/2019 20:37

What job does not allow you to wear some makeup if you want to?

Original poster

Idontwanttobeaman · 09/06/2019 20:39

I work with food.

No make up, no jewellery, no perfume, minimal deodorant. Those are the rules.

OP posts:

teyem · 09/06/2019 20:39

Ha, well there you go. You'd be putting your life in your hands calling a grown adult son in my neck of the woods.

werideatdawn · 09/06/2019 20:47

If this is in McDonalds then it's just the crap uniform. Everyone looks a bit shit and lumpy in it.

Laiste · 09/06/2019 20:47

My goodness what is the company OP?

Overalls, cap, no make up, no jewelry, no perfume, minimal deo ... for wiping restaurant tables??!

Original poster

Idontwanttobeaman · 09/06/2019 20:54

Not MacDonalds.

Yes, those rules are to prevent contamination of food by anything we might be wearing and everyone follows them.

No overalls, and not just wiping tables.

OP posts:

S1naidSucks · 09/06/2019 21:00

I’m a flat chested woman with long hair and I live in jeans an, usually men’s tee shirts and regularly get mistaken for a bloke. Doesn’t bother me in the slightest, even when I was younger and working on building sites, I used to laugh it off. I and the people that know me, know I’m a woman so it’s no biggie to me.

Upzadaizy · 09/06/2019 21:05

Must be very annoying and cumulatively upsetting OP.

Imagine if you were a transwoman! You could make a fortune suing people for "misgendering" you, and calling the police.

DGRossetti · 09/06/2019 21:21

I think I'd have more sympathy if "guys" hadn't changed from exclusively meaning men in the 70s to be more inclusive (thanks to our US cousins) in the 80s/90s ...

... and nobody asked me

Original poster

Idontwanttobeaman · 09/06/2019 21:29

Never been called a guy..Son, Sonny, Mate, Man yes, Guy nope.

OP posts:

DGRossetti · 10/06/2019 10:50

Actually it's more "guys" - plural - to a mixed crowd.

"Hey, you guys ! Check this out."

"Guy" - singular - tends to be used in absentia

"Hey ! You know that guy that did that song ?"

As I say - always used to mean a group of men. But since US TV of the 80s ...

"Hey you guys, check this out" directed at a mixed group appeared. And it ever so slightly grates.

And don't get me started on changing pronunciations and placenames ...whatever happened to Peking - which was taught as fact at school ? Another memo I didn't get

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