To think this should be compassionate leave

[glasshalf]

Young DS has little accident that needed surgery under general anesthetic . Both me and DP wanted to be with him naturally as it was really traumatic as parents too . Work say it's classed as dependant leave at best and will be unpaid - I feel it's a little unfair that we will lose wages when it was not just a "sick" day but actually a big deal for us and our DS. Aibu to feel we shouldn't lose pay?

I understand that you wanted to be there, but that’s what annual leave is for.

I appreciate that you would both want to be there and it’s good that you were both able to take time off work, surely that the important thing rather than quibbling about wether they should have paid you to be at your DS’ side?
I would say this leave was dependant rather than compassionate.

My son had an emergency brain tumour operation. My relatively new partner was granted compassionate leave to support me. All employers are different in their rules

Hope your son is all good and recovers quickly x

@KateReddy actually yes that was what was important Clearly that's why we were both there . I'm now just looking at bills and making sure we cover them from the time off unpaid or if I need to ask for AL instead!

Just to add - I fully accept this isn't a life or death crisis - I'm not precious about my greying mane!

I agree YABU I’m afraid.

The important thing is that they are allowing you the time off. If you can’t afford it unpaid then do ask if you could use annual leave, or if you’re part time maybe you could make the hours up once DS is better? Compassionate leave is totally dependent on the company but is usually only life or death situations (for some it’s only deaths!).

I hope your DS surgery goes well and he recovers quickly! Make sure you and DH look after yourselves as well

Fairly standard.

When my dad was dying and there was no room at the hospice so we had to look after him at home for two weeks pretty much unconscious in bed, on a morphine drip I couldn't have compassionate leave as my manager said "he hasn't died yet".

@NicoAndTheNiners how awful

What did you think dependents leave was for OP?

If you want paid then take it as annual leave.

There is no legal entitlement to compassionate leave, it is entirely at the employer’s discretion. They decide how much they give, under what circumstances, and do not have to give any at all.

I was not allowed compassionate leave to attend my infant niece’s funeral, I had to take a day’s annual leave. But some years later and when working for someone else, I was allowed effectively 10 days CL after my father died.

I thought compassionate leave was only when someone has died.

I hope your DS’s surgery goes well.

I had to take unpaid leave when my DM was dying in intensive care last year and was off for a total of 6 weeks until after her funeral - I worked with the elderly and couldn’t have gone back to work at the time as it was too emotional for me when people talked about her (everyone knew why I was off) I eventually used the remaining leave I had for the rest of the year so I at least got some money in the bank but even our compassionate leave was unpaid (as was sick leave - though we would get SSP with a Drs certificate).

My last firm had 5 days per annum emergency leave available to anyone for leaky boilers, poorly kids etc. They paid you 50% and you could work back, take holiday pay or unpaid leave for the other 50%

They absolutely made sure you worked the hours back if you took that option

Compassionate was strictly for bereavement only

Hope you DS is on the mend