To be reluctant to move to Essex as a black mom with a mixed child?

[MomtoOneMarvelousBubba]

Hi everyone, long story short.
We're living in London atm partner is from Essex. We really want to move out of London - nicer, bigger house, neighbours etc. But I'm really nervous to leave the safety net of London as its so cosmopolitan.

Im also concerned about our lo feeling like the only one in the village... He's going to be four soon so still very little and that kind of feeling is so nuanced and hard for lo's to understand and deal with. Just the thought of moving him somewhere where he'll be made to feel like an outsider everyday is heart breaking.

So it would be really, really useful to hear other people's experiences. Especially parents of mixed/black kids who live/relocated to Essex (chelmsford). And also is there any kind of Caribbean community - I've seen some media online around BHM anđ carnival time but, is there any kind of cultural community?

This is the second time posting this question. Sadly, Mumsnet had to take down the original post because responses had become toxic.

Please could people people refrain from posting on here to tell me I'm being narrow minded. Or, there's no issue with race, unless I make one.
Or, that where you live outside of Essex is great... I'm asking about Essex (Chelmsford).

I'm asking for real personal insight from any moms who have/do live in that area and happen to be parents to black/mixed race children.

What are the schools your children attend like? Is there a good mix of teachers and support staff? What are the classes like etc.
What are the extracurricular activities like? Etc. Etc
Are there food shops/markets/hairdressers. I just want to gain a better understanding of what life is like in Chelmsford if you're experience is black/mixed.

Have you been to Chelmsford?
I haven’t, but it’s so close to London it would be easy to just go for the weekend.
Just spending time walking around would answer some of your questions.
I get why you’re asking, and hope your thread goes OK this time.

My insight is that of a non white adult who grew up in an all white area. It was ok but I moved to somewhere with more people of colour as soon as I could. Sadly, as your first thread showed, white people often don't see/ deny race issues which can feel very isolating to people of colour and it's worse for children who want to fit in. I think you're a great mum for considering this and I hope you get some constructive answer this time.

Honestly, I'd hop on a train and go spend a day there. You'll get a better feeling for the nice / not so nice bits, which any area has.
It's a town with a big commuting population, so I'd expect it to be more multicultural than, say, Maldon, where there aren't as many commuters
We almost bought there (but we are white working class, so won't have much insight to offer). The Old Moulsham area is very nice. My former manager, who is mixed, had lived there and seemed positive about the area (only comment was about the traffic).
Ultimately we stayed in Romford, as it's zone 6 and an easier cheaper commute for us, but there were some lovely houses in Chelmsford.

Lots of ppl moving to Kent which is becoming more multicultural. I have not been to Chelmsford for a while but I don't think it's known for being progressive or mixed. Colchester might be more urban. Good idea to go for a trip, suss out some schools (black teachers?)

I live in Essex but father North in a rural village, Chelmsford is our nearest city about 30 mins away.

In all honesty it really isn't multicultural around here at all. In my DCs primary there were maybe 3 BAME children in the school. Chelmsford I think would be better but it is a very predominantly white area.

That's not to say that you wouldn't be made very welcome, it's more how would you feel about it.

As others have suggested I would go for a weekend stay in Chelmsford and see what you think.

I live in Essex although not Chelmsford (about 20 mins away in Rayleigh). It's not massively multicultural here- my DD's primary school is predominantly white british. However, it is a very tolerant place- my DD has 2 BAME friends from her year group and tbh I've never really given it much though before as to why there aren't more BAME families living in the area.

I work in Hackney and I love it but regardless of my skin colour I'd rather bring my children up where we live.

I live 12 miles from Chelmsford. I work there, it's where I go when eating out and socialising.

It's had a huge amount of modernisation, shops and restaurants are fantastic. Schools are really good, and the new swimming pool is just about to open.

It's a university city, but it has kept a lovely friendly vibe about it.

Are you set on Chelmo? There are some lovely places just outside that are less pricey. Danbury, Bicknacre and South Woodham Ferrers might all be worth considering. You get a lot more for your money, and Chelmo is only just down the a130.

The only downside is the traffic, city centre gridlocks extremely easily.

Hope that helps, any questions I am more than willing to help x

Thank you so much everyone for taking the time to reply . All really useful. I think you're right a couple of stays for a long weekend would probably be really helpful.

I'm non white and when I go to Essex I do stick out like a sore thumb and I have people look at me sometimes, especially when I'm with white DP. I just feel uncomfortable there sometimes.

I would also pop on local Facebook groups with a carefully worded post. E.g. join a Chelmsford mums group and ask about Caribbean culture in the area for LOs, or if anyone can recommend a hairdresser maybe. If you get some replies you can then private message the people that reply and ask them the questions that you might not want to ask so publicly. Noone will flame you for asking for a hairdresser so it avoids the judgy comments and hopefully the people that reply will understand where you're coming from

Census data is easily found with Google. At the last census, 90% of the population in Chelmsford was white British. 3% was white other. So 7% from ethnic minorities.

5% of the population was born outside the EU.

Hi @MomtoOneMarvelousBubba I live in Chelmsford. I grew up near Chelmsford but left home for Uni and then lived in London and then my hubby and I moved to Chelmsford 2 years ago for a bigger house, garden etc. And to be near my family. Husband and I are white but I wanted to say that Chelmsford is a lot more cosmopolitan and diverse than it used to be. In my area, my street in fact there are people of different races. It's very mixed which is lovely. Definitely spend a few weekends here to see how you feel. It's not as diverse as London but since London is the most diverse city in the world it's going to be very difficult to match but I hope you get a good vibe when you come and test it out.

I think you need to visit and spend some time there . I am a Londoner and I know exactly what you mean . I live in a leafy west London burb but it’s massively mixed here . I still am in awe of my back friend that moved to the deepest West Country . I’d feel the same as you

Chelmsford is 35 minutes from Liverpool Street, you could visit for a day, view some houses and get a feel for the area.