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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think that if it's meant to be it will happen no matter what?

6 replies

Meant2beAIBU · 09/06/2019 13:27

So I have a friend who’s been with her DP for 2 years, they don’t live together but see each other few times a week. It’s great when they’re together, she’s happy. But the problem is when they’re apart, she will text him on WhatsApp and he won’t open her messages or will sometimes read them and not reply for hours, even though he’s always online. He’s not at work when doing this, he’s the type of person who’s always glued to his phone. When he doesn’t reply after 4-6 hours, she will sometimes phone him and he will decline her call or not pick up. He will then tell her he was at home busy doing something, his argument is that if he doesn’t reply he’s busy, her argument is that if he’s busy why can’t he just say he’s doing XYZ and will get back to her later, and she would just leave him alone. She doesn’t understand why he’s always on WhatsApp but will claim he’s busy. And everyone knows when you’re online on WhatsApp you’re literally clicked on the app and you’re online, unlike FB messenger which shows you’re online when you’re not really on.

She wants to lose weight and start a business, so I suggested she focus on herself for a bit and leave him alone. She’s scared he will think she’s lost interest and move on, but I said to her if he does move on it was never meant to be? AIBU? I just think he takes her for granted because she’s always the one initiating contact and he needs to see what life is like without her.

OP posts:
SheWhoShouldNotBeNamed · 09/06/2019 13:37

She needs to pull away from this chap.

It sounds like she is a bit needy, but similarly he seems disinterested. I wouldn't want to be with anyone who thinks it's a chore to communicate with me and wouldn't just text back and say 'I'm busy' or whatever.

Doesn't sound like a good match to me.

MadeForThis · 09/06/2019 13:55

He's either up to no good or playing games. She'd be better off without him.

StillCoughingandLaughing · 09/06/2019 13:57

Things being ‘meant to be’ is a myth. There’s no grand plan. If he moves on, it means he wasn’t that interested in the first place - which sounds like the case here.

Aquamarine1029 · 09/06/2019 14:03

Your friend is making herself look very desperate and needy. If anything will drive him away, that will. She needs to back off and let the relationship evolve naturally. If she's not satisfied with how they communicate, she need to end it.

Meant2beAIBU · 09/06/2019 14:12

She's not a needy person, but I agree it does make her look needy. She just needs to pull back a bit and let him make the effort. I'll sometimes read a message on WhatsApp and not reply until I'm online again a few hours later because I'm out or busy doing something. But he will read or not even open the message but will come online 10 times since she sent him that message and then claim he's busy, you can't be that busy if you're online 10 times within a few hours.

OP posts:
Meant2beAIBU · 09/06/2019 14:14

Things being ‘meant to be’ is a myth. There’s no grand plan. If he moves on, it means he wasn’t that interested in the first place - which sounds like the case here.

That what I mean by 'not meant to be'. If she takes a break, focuses on herself for a while and he then moves on, then it just means he wasn't interested in the first place. She wasn't meant to be with him.

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