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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

DM put a post of baby in hospital on FB

37 replies

BelulahBlanca · 09/06/2019 10:11

Hi all, my baby was in hospital Thursday night and had to have tests all day Friday. She is on the mend now and we were discharged on Friday. I didn’t put this on social media as quite frankly I find it annoying/inappropriate when people “check” in to hospital.
I’ve just got a text from a friend asking if DD is okay- turns out my mum has put a picture of DD in hospital on FB. It’s mainly a post to say how brilliant the NHS are but I’m not happy it’s on there. Am I overreacting?

OP posts:
CitadelsofScience · 09/06/2019 10:13

It really wouldn't bother me in the slightest but I'm fairly relaxed about who puts what on fb.

MatildaTheCat · 09/06/2019 10:13

No you aren’t. Ask her to remove it and that she checks with you in future when posting images of your child.

Glad DD is on the mend.

notlikelybyhalf · 09/06/2019 10:14

Ask her to take it down

Overmydeadbody456 · 09/06/2019 10:15

Out of order on your mum’s part. Does she usually attention-seek? Social media hospital posts are the worst

Sexnotgender · 09/06/2019 10:16

I’m sure your mum could have praised the NHS without needing to include pictures of your daughter! I’m not a fan of ‘checking in’ in hospitals either, it’s just attention seeking.

dreygrey · 09/06/2019 10:16

Report it to FB, there is an option for reporting stuff like that.

WorraLiberty · 09/06/2019 10:16

It really wouldn't bother me in the slightest but I'm fairly relaxed about who puts what on fb.

So you'd be fine if anyone put a photo of you on there, even if you hated it?

Original poster
BelulahBlanca · 09/06/2019 10:17

No she’s not an attention seeking person at all, and I know she wouldn’t have done it if she thought it would’ve upset me. I’m normally very relaxed about DD. I think it’s more my negative associations with people who post from hospital.

OP posts:
Everydayimhuffling · 09/06/2019 10:21

I think it's understandable, especially in the context of praising the NHS, but you could gently tell her what your thoughts are on social media posts with your DC in. I wouldn't ask her to take it down personally, but that also is fine if you feel strongly about it. I'm not sure what extra damage it could do now to leave it.

Queenofpi · 09/06/2019 10:23

Is it the fact that a) there's a pic of DD or b) it's highlighting the fact she's been in hospital that bothers you?

a) YANBU if you have decided that DD will not be on SM for whatever reasons you choose, your mother should know this and respect it.

b) either ask your mum to take the pic down or edit the post to make it clear that DD is now fine.

Either way, a classic case of posting on FB without thinking it through, something many of us are guilty of (me included).

Helendee · 09/06/2019 10:25

Unless you had already asked her not to do it I don’t see the problem.

Chickychoccyegg · 09/06/2019 10:25

At least she didn't check in/waited until dd was on the mend, so not as bad as some, i probably wouldn't be too bothered by this but if you are you should mention it to her

mimibunz · 09/06/2019 10:33

No one but you and your husband should be posting pictures of your children on social media.

CuriousaboutSamphire · 09/06/2019 10:34

Work out which it is that bothers you most, as Queenofpi said. The message or the picture. Tell her how much it/they bother you. Ask her not to do it again.

saraclara · 09/06/2019 10:36

Maybe tell her that you hadn't yet told people that DD was in hospital, so it's worried people?

toottootchuggachugga · 09/06/2019 10:37

Look it's bad etiquette to post any pic of a child on social media without explicit parental consent and your mum probably needs a bit of gentle educating in that area. It's taken a while for my parents to get it and we've been working on it for years! So YANBU, ask her politely to take it down and let her know you'd rather she didn't put baby pics online without asking you first.

LillithsFamiliar · 09/06/2019 10:37

If you were upset about an invasion of privacy, I'd have a different view but since you simply have a negative view of hospital check-ins, then I'd think you would be UR to mention it. Your DM couldn't have forseen you'd have this reaction so I don't think it's worth upsetting your DM to ask her to take it down.

Blondieg · 09/06/2019 10:38

I would hate for anyone to post pictures of my children, many people are "friends " with people I don't know and to be honest they probably don't know either, like my friend who has 1400 friends. I don't want them looking at my child

TanMateix · 09/06/2019 10:42

From your last post you are clear that she didn’t in purpose to annoy you, to attract attention to herself and would be mortified to hear it has upset you.

I would be tempted to say “mum, there have been people asking how DD is and what has happened and at this time I have no energy to deal with worried people, could you please remove the post from Facebook straight away? Thanks”

rollingpine · 09/06/2019 10:43
Shock

That's totally out of order.

Original poster
BelulahBlanca · 09/06/2019 10:45

Thanks everyone, I know it’s not out of malice and DD does have other pictures on SM. It just wasn’t something I wanted posted. I think I’m just going to leave it as no real harm has been done. Thanks everyone.

OP posts:
saraclara · 09/06/2019 10:45

I would be tempted to say “mum, there have been people asking how DD is and what has happened and at this time I have no energy to deal with worried people, could you please remove the post from Facebook straight away? Thanks

Yep.

TanMateix · 09/06/2019 10:50

And my sympathies...
I found it very intrusive to have to deal with worried friends and acquaintances asking a lot of questions or saying they will pop in to visit when DS ended up in hospital as a baby. I had not had any sleep as his oxygen level alarm was beeping constantly over 24 hours. One acquaintance, not even a friend, said she was coming to check on us... I know she wanted to be supportive but good grief, I don’t know how I found the strength to say “please do not worry, we are ok and visits are not allowed in this ward, we’ll catch up when we are out” when the only thing I felt like saying was “Visiting? Visiting? WTAF??? Just feck off, we have already enough in our plates!”

I hope your baby is feeling better very soon.

RonaldMcDonald · 09/06/2019 10:51

It sounds as though you both are sensible people especially around Facebook
Both of you were probably knocked sideways by the hospital stay and fear.
She wanted to say how great the NHS are and posted. It wasn’t a drama or look at me post. ( lots are mentioning the NHS atm I don’t know if it is fear of us losing it or simply a real thank God and medical staff for everything scenario)

We don’t all hold the same views on thing and I can see from your post that you are reasonable enough to get that. Personally, I’d leave it. Way, way down the line I might mention it but probably not.

notacooldad · 09/06/2019 10:52

In this case like the OP it wouldn't bother me. It wasn't done maliciously or for attention seeking reasons so not a big deal to me.

It really wouldn't bother me in the slightest but I'm fairly relaxed about who puts what on fb.

So you'd be fine if anyone put a photo of you on there, even if you hated it?
Again it doesn't bother me and there's plenty of rubbish pictures of me that I have first seen when they've been posted!

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