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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Housemate and water

75 replies

EnidBlytonFan01 · 09/06/2019 09:37

I realize this thread is very similar to the other one trending right now on a lady saying her DH was turning off the hot water.

For several weeks, I've noticed the water to be icy cold in the shower yet when my housemate (I'll call him Tom) has a shower, it's always working fine. Then, I realized yesterday, he'd turned off the boiler in the evening (usually it's on but error light is flashing) so I turned it on to use it.

I get a barrage of rude abusive texts from him calling me an idiot and him stating he turns it off because another housemate likes to have showers past midnight (which disturbs his sleep) - he claims the landlord allows just him to change the settings of the boiler whenever he likes as he's discussed this matter with them. Previously, he took and hid the landing light bulb in his room because that other housemate was leaving it on all night so every act of revenge he does affects me just as much as it does her and it's really not fair as I follow all the rules etc.

Even this morning, he's used the bathroom, then presumably messed with the boiler settings and then I heard him running the taps hard to get rid of any remaining hot water and now he's left. The boiler isn't turned off this time but as often, the red error light is flashing and I can't get it fixed (tried clicking to reset, switching it on and off, etc. as there aren't many settings that can be changed with the boiler dials).

I've got a cold and now I'm stuck with no hot water because of him. The downstairs loo does have hot water (different water system) but there's a lot of us in the house so I don't always want to be using the downstairs one when technically I should be using the upstairs one.

I've obviously notified the landlord about this but usually he's fairly on the fence even with extreme stuff like this. :/

Anything else I can do?

OP posts:
Lucked · 09/06/2019 10:19

I bet the landlord doesn’t know he is messing either boiler so much you have no hot water. You have been there longer and I imagine Tom annoys the landlord so let the landlord know that Toms is doing.

But you need to be more confrontational with both Tom and the landlord about this, he is doing it because he can and he is getting away with it.

MrsElijahMikaelson1 · 09/06/2019 10:23

Yep, LL every time-that will soon stop him being on the fence as he will get pissed off with being called all the time. Tom should grow the fuck up.

rollingpine · 09/06/2019 10:23

Do you have separate fridges?

And can you guess the way I'm thinking on this one?!

1moremum · 09/06/2019 10:24

report to landlord. talk to other housemates. start tracking his CF activity and your reports. the only way he is going is if the landlord fears everyone else will.

RosaWaiting · 09/06/2019 10:25

forward on the rude texts to the landlord so he knows exactly what you're dealing with.

Original poster
EnidBlytonFan01 · 09/06/2019 10:27

Thanks a lot everyone - I feel loads better reading all of your replies.

Ironically, him messing with the water affects me more than it does the other girl (who he is in fact targeting) as he is at home 90% of the time and she is a student so comes and goes at random times so can shower whenever the water happens to be on so it's literally just me affected as I work full time with set hours.

OP posts:
PotatoesDieInHotCars · 09/06/2019 10:28

Just keep reporting it back to the landlord. "HM dicked with the hot water again and now it wont come on. Again."

Or be petty and the get the person to leave last in the morning turn of the heating/WiFi/electricity to upstairs.

Fivebyfivesq · 09/06/2019 10:30

I would ask your landlord to put a lock on the boiler cupboard. It’s his property and getting a replacement if it broke would be very costly.

mumwon · 09/06/2019 10:35

red light -low pressure? google boiler & check about low pressure? if guy goes into shower turn taps on in kitchen or use washing machine or dishwasher...

Apolloanddaphne · 09/06/2019 10:35

He sounds batshit. I agree you need to speak tot he landlord about this. He is going to break the system with his constant meddling with it.

PeoniesarePink · 09/06/2019 10:36

Ring the LL each and every time. It's actually really dangerous to mess about with boilers.

And get the other housemate to sit down with him and you and explain that you all pay equal bills therefore it's not anyone's role to dictate who can have hot water and when. Otherwise you both stop contributing seeing as he's in charge of it.

MuchTooTired · 09/06/2019 10:39

Another for letting the landlord know every single time. Tom potentially could be damaging the boiler by constantly playing with it, and that’s a cost that the landlord will have to pay out for which wouldn’t thrill most of them!

Why can’t the boiler just be set to provide hot water during an agreed period of time?

Eggshellnutmeg · 09/06/2019 10:43

In the short term I would use the downstairs bathroom, there is hot water there. I would contact both Tom and your landlord every time he messes with the boiler and advise your LL that you are using the downstairs bathroom as there is no hot water in your allocated bathroom.

Lexilooo · 09/06/2019 10:51

I agree about contacting the landlord but in the short term can you bug the hell out of Tom every time he turns the boiler off and you want to use the shower. Go knock on his door and ask him to fix it, do it repeatedly for as long as it takes until he fixes it. Or unplug the wifi and hide the router until he fixes it, or throw the circuit breaker for the electric in his room. Or play baby shark outside his room loudly until he fixes it. Anyone else complains tell them that you will stop as soon as Tom resets the boiler.

CuriousaboutSamphire · 09/06/2019 10:55

Why can’t the boiler just be set to provide hot water during an agreed period of time? Because loopy housemate objects tot he times the other housemate has a shower! Remember, he isn't doing it to save money, he is doing it to disrupt other users use of the shower.

elfycat · 09/06/2019 11:00

When he's having a shower flick the fuse switch that powers the boiler? But flick it back on before he gets to see the power is off?

And yes to contacting the landlord. You pay for normal facilities and he's interfering with your ability to use the house as per your contract.

TORDEVAN · 09/06/2019 11:03

I would contact the landlord every time he does it and state you'll be using the downstairs bathroom as the error light is on (even if you're not actually going to). Eventually with the messages from you (and potential messages from downstairs bathroom users) he'll get the message.

Darkcloudsandsunnydays · 09/06/2019 11:03

Shower Boy is the resident psycho, make sure the shower room door is locked and jam a chair against it whenever you are having a shower in case things take a serious turn for the worse.

bananasonfire · 09/06/2019 11:10

Forward the texts to the Landlord so he is aware that bully boy is messing with the boiler. Hopefully he will also clock their abusive nature.
Is there anything in your rental agreement about behaviour towards other housemates?

Original poster
EnidBlytonFan01 · 09/06/2019 11:11

Thanks a lot lovelies :)

Update on this - landlord just texted me back that he absolutely did NOT give Tom permission to change the boiler settings and he will talk to him.

OP posts:
Mummyoflittledragon · 09/06/2019 11:19

I agree to badger the ll and emphasise the cost / danger element. This idiot does sound like bit of a psycho. If he wants peace he should use earplugs and an eye mask. It’s not as though you or the housemate he’s objecting to is pumping out music at 100 decibels.

Boysey45 · 09/06/2019 11:22

I'd tell the landlord that he has to sort the matter out like now and speak to Tom. You cant be having that your going to be poorly with cold.If I didn't get sorted I'd just move out I couldn't be bothered with the aggro of living with someone like this.

darjeelingisrank · 09/06/2019 11:22

Contact LL every time that red light is on. Log every time Tom fucks with the boiler (preferably on your phone). EVERY time. 'Tom, I need the hot water to shower, what'd you do it?' every time!

SlothMama · 09/06/2019 11:24

Your flatmate sounds like a pyscho! Every time he messes with the boiler id contact your landlord. Particularly as he hasn’t given him permission to mess with the boiler! People like him shouldn’t live in a house share, if the activities of other people bother him so much. He should be living alone.

MitziK · 09/06/2019 11:25

He's targeting a female for abuse? Deliberately putting her at risk of injury using the stairs at night? Deliberately taking away her access to hot water? Sends you abusive texts? Claims he has a special arrangement with the landlord?

Alarm bells are ringing here. Loud ones.

Contact your LL again. and possibly have a bit of a snoop around on social media to see if there are any worrying incel-type comments.

If you've got separate tenancy agreements, he can be evicted without it affecting anybody else. But the LL needs to know it's not standard 'so and so doesn't wash up', but what sounds the start of a targeted harassment campaign directed at women.

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