To ask what are the essentials for a baby?

[justtheessentials]

I've name changed as I could be identified by other posts. I'm posting here for traffic.

My husband and I are in the middle of the adoption process, it is likely we will adopt a very young baby (less than a month old) due to the type of adoption we are likely to pursue (early permanency). As we are adopting, we don't get to experience NCT groups etc and don't have any friends who are parents. We are finding it quite overwhelming trying to figure out exactly what we need for a baby.

So far we are thinking;

Buggy (silver cross horizon go as it's parent facing and doesn't need a separate bassinet...thoughts?)
Car seat (no idea which one, seems like a total minefield)
Cot bed
Some sort of crib for our bedroom (again, no idea what)
Tommee Tippee machine
Both normal and cloth nappies (again, total minefield)
Baby bouncer thing (Baby Bjorn?!)

I have tried looking on all the specific chats for these things but they aren't particularly active. So can you recommend your absolute essentials and particular types/brands of things I've mentioned? Thanks in advance!

I used reusable nappies (Bambino Mio ones which grow with the baby). I am convinced this is why he potty trained so young, just whipped his own nappy off at 19 months and shook his head when i tried to put it back on! They can feel the wee and poo next to the skin you see.

I would also appreciate recommendations for formula as well. I think Hipp Organic is one of the more ethical brands?!

Uppababy vista push chair
Maxi cosi pebble car seat

For car seats they work in stages you wont get one from birth to child- you can but in my opinion they're not as safe, they get wrecked over time so you end up replacing them anyway, they're generally not isofix which is then a pain in the arse.

NCT do postnatal groups. You might be able to join one after adopting.

Good luck with your baby when he/she arrives!

For reusable nappies get in touch with your local nappy library - they will have loads to show you. Once you have an idea of what you want try the Facebook groups - no need to buy new. I used pocket nappies such as bumgenius and totsbots but my youngest is 5 and this market has grown significantly.

Towels and flannels second hand ones or cheap supermarket ones are just fine. Can be used as wipes, and mop ups of the vast quantity of spills!

I'd also have a supply of quick wash /dry tops that you are not bothered about. Baby sick staines and you may not have ti e for alot of washing!

The other thing I would recommend is getting your freezer set up with "remove from freezer and aim at oven" type meals for you both. Baby when it comes will hit you like a wall and finding the time to eat can be challenging let alone cooking and shopping. Stock up on biscuits and other energy boosting quick grab food too.

How exciting for you!

We found this absolutely invaluable, I really don't know what we would have done without it

www.tinylove.com/uk_en/3-in-1-rocker-napper-red?gclid=Cj0KCQjw3PLnBRCpARIsAKaUbgtFfHCmvNnSkEGaAB0AoaWyb14re6piQyvhqRy-8D2lYpXtwYVipvcaAvySEALw_wcB

Plus a nappy-changing caddy - you can get them from Amazon for about £10. Keeps everything tidy and handy and is easy to move around.

Make sure you test drive the pram/travel system! We ordered ours online and it was the worst buy, despite it being one of Which's 'best buys'. I hate the bloody thing and I'm wondering if we should have just got a pram and then a cheaper pushchair. We don't use the car seat that came with it anyway (you can buy adapters so most car seats can fit onto different travel systems).
We should have waited before buying lots of things as we found we didn't actually need or use many of them. We also needn't have bought any blankets as we were kindly gifted so many!

Our baby monitor is pretty shite, despite it being another Which recommendation. I think I'd have preferred a video one but maybe I'm just a bit too much of a worried!

Tommee Tippee perfect prep is an absolute must. It really is a game-changer.

I would say hold off on buying bulky, expensive items (e.g. baby swing) as you might find you just don't use it and it just takes up a lot of room!

With many supermarkets being open 24 hours and Amazon prime etc now you are very unlikely to be caught short or in desperate need of something and I think waiting and seeing could save you money and space.
Very best of luck with your new family x

Regarding Formula, it depends where you live! Honestly if you live in a large town or city with 24 hours supermarkets, then you can choose whatever you like. If, like me, you live in a rural village with the local ton being a small local market town you have to plan more carefully. I would advise looking to see what your local shop stocks first and then your local supermarket/chemist.

I found SMA made my newborn constipated so used Cow & Gate after that with both. I could get it anywhere as it wasn't "specialised". My boys grew up fine on it. (I couldn't breastfeed for medical reasons).

I used Hipp Organic. A lot of people rate the Aldi formula.

I agree with advice above not to bulk buy consumables until you know what your baby gets on with, ie formula/nappies.

How much say do birth parents have? If they want to choose bottles/formula, then you probably want to be consistent with this.

If you have free rein over bottles, I liked the MAM ones that can self sterilise.

Are you open to having second hand things? If so, before buying talk to friends/colleagues who’ve had children for their recommendations. You may find they offer stuff as well as advice. I am a high earner but inherited a load of stuff from friends and was pleased not to have to buy new. I’m out of babies now and am pleased to hand on things.

If you know roughly what month you expect to adopt, consider going to the ante-natal board and asking on the thread for that month if you can join their pregnancy Facebook group. You're becoming a mum just the same as everyone else, so while late stage pregnancy pains and labour panics don't apply to you, everything else will. You can also go to NCT coffee mornings, local children's centre and baby groups locally to get to know new mums / late stage pregnancy; just explain you're adopting and you should be able to make friends the same as everyone else. If you can say what area you live in then people might be able to recommend somewhere specific to go to meet other prospective/ new mums.

In things to buy, consider vests that wrap-over with studs, like vertbaudet sell. We basically didn't use any over-the-head vests until DS was 2 months old because it was so much easier with a little baby to use the wrap ones.
Silver cross - I do like the pioneer, but the car seat was crap and he grew out of it quickly, I wished I'd bought a better car seat from the beginning even though the small seats are useful for clipping to the pushchair on occasion. Get one that suits your car, but 0+ to 3 sizes do exist e.g. Joie. John Lewis should be able to help.
Close caboo sling is lovely for being close to the baby.
Don't over-invest in bottles until tio know what the baby likes, they all vary. If you go to baby shows then you'll end up with a random assortment of MAM, Lansinoh, Tommee Tippee etc so that you can try them out on the baby.

Nappies - Aldi and ASDA were both good for our boy, again don't over-invest until you know what works; skinny legs work in some and fat legs in others! Water wipes are fantastic and cheap if you buy.them in bulk. We never used more than a couple of the cotton wool balls / pads nor other types of nappy wipe.
Bibs, muslins and cheeky wipes are all helpful at various stages of milk spitting.

You've got more than enough listed above, if you wonder whether you'll need something or not then I suggest just leaving it. Get Amazon Prime for next day deliveries. Also get netflix for sitting around feeding your new baby, you'll stare at the baby for hours but sometimes you'll just want to watch TV too!

Sling (for day naps and walks)
Reusable wipes (flannels and a couple of Tupperwares, basically - one for clean one for dirty, with a net bag so you can just drawstring that and chuck it in with the normal wash)
Loads of muslins (for sick, emergency changing mat cover, draping over the baby to catch biscuit crumbs)
Your Baby & Child by Penelope Leach
Bouncer (pop the baby in while you shower/eat/do a task)
Reusable changing mat for out and about
IKEA inflatable changing mat - we just put it on the bed and change DD there, no need for dedicated table/station
Hooded towels to keep the baby's head warm after the bath
White noise app on your phone
Lots of frozen dinners stocked up/batch cooked in advance
Sidecar crib - we have a Snuzpod but anything that goes next to you will do, saves getting up at night if you can find a way to pre-prep bottles and keep them in bed with you?
Crossover bodysuits and vests! A game changer; no need to pull clothes over the baby's head, just put the baby on top, do the arms, then do up the poppers
Sleeping bags - grobags come with room thermometers so no need to buy separate
Blanket(s) for pram and sofa snuggling
Metanium nappy cream (yellow tube)
Snooze shade for the pram
Blackout blinds if your bedroom gets a lot of light
Baby bath - read lots of advice beforehand not to bother and just use the sink, but kitchen sink too grotty and bathroom too shallow!
Baby thermometer, nasal aspirator; calpol
Thermos mug for tea
Lots of biscuits, Netflix subscription

Muslins are great for wiping up vomit but I never seem to have any to bloody hand so we own about 150 and they’re never around when I need them .

Cloth nappies are great. Check the nappy lady website for lots of helpful tips. Great brands to try are Bambino Mio, Tots Bots, little lamb and Bumgenius.

No idea regarding bottles and formula as I’ve always BF but feeding cushions are great for the early days when they feed a lot. They’re also great for tummy time. DS is seven months and we still use ours now. Basically just a U shaped pillow .

Moses baskets are fine for the first couple of months but most babies outgrow them after that. I co-sleep using the sleepyhead deluxe.

Pram sounds fine. Maxi cosi do fab car seats, I like them because they’re compatible with my pram of choice (bugaboo).

Clothes wise I’d get lots and lots of sleepsuits, they pee/poop and sick on them in the early days so can go through 3-5 outfits a day easily. Get 0-3 months and some in 3-6 months too.

Good luck, hope all goes well .

A network of other new parents will be essential, so I suggest you contact your children centre, ours ran a special group for pregnant or new mums, I'm sure NCT would be open to working something out with you too, most people join the groups for the social side rather than the ante natal advice

Essentials are moses basket, bouncer (check as not all are suitable from birth), cellular blankets (the ones with little holes in the weave), blanket for or can buy little sleeping bag type blankets for the pushchair, short sleeve vests which they wear under babygro (also known as sleepsuits), cardigan, coat or snow suit depending on what time of year you expect your baby to be placed with you, Tomme Tippee Perfect Prep machine is perfect for formula, a couple of bottles (don't buy too many in case your baby doesn't like the brand you choose and need to change them).

Car seats vary depending on what car you have, and sometimes what is compatible with your buggy if you're going for a travel system. Buy the best quality, safest you can afford. Many people start with one that last until baby about 9-12 months that can be clipped into an Isofix base or your buggy, then buy another to last until they're big enough for high back booster seat (normally around 4-5 years old). Look into 'extended rear facing' (ERF) seats as it's safest. Don't try to buy an all stages one, most have an expiry date and you don't know what you/child will be like at travelling and what weight/height they will be as they grow up.
Good luck

@SpanglyPop my Joie stages goes from Birth to Booster seat, so that isn't true.

Just wanted to say I had no idea about this type of adoption and think you’re very brave and it must add even more emotion to an even more emotional time in your life!

Ps. Aldi nappies are the bomb ☺️

Thank you again everyone for your recommendations. One kind member sent me her spreadsheet of baby things so I will edit it with all your suggestions.

I'm not hugely convinced about approaching NCT, don't really fancy being surrounded by pregnant women, but as we get closer to panel and if we are likely to be matched I may have to put on my big girl pants and contact them. I definitely want to go to a baby show though!

My health visitor ran a weekly coffee morning/weigh in clinic for new babies for about 12 weeks. This allowed me to find local mums to spend time with. Might be worth finding out from your GP surgery/health visitor whether they offer any similar services for new babies.

My (not particularly well informed) perception is that NCT is quite cliquey and birth focussed. A friend told me that only one session was about looking after babies. I think it might be difficult to break into a group.

Perfect prep is a must, we love ours! We had a moses basket but DS grew out of it and we had a massive cot in our room for 3 months. In hindslight, i would have got a crib, eg next to me or similar, not to co sleep but because they are bigger and would have defo lasted the 6 months that baby should be in same room for.
Bottles: highly recommend MAM because they are anti colic and sterelise on their own in the microwave but even more than these, i recommend buying one or 2 of a few bottle brands and seeing what works. We wasted a lot of money on tommie tippie bottles.
Car seat: get one that clips onto your buggy if you can. So easy for shopping, coffee shop trips etc.
When baby grows out of that i highly recommend the joie 360spin. Its pricey but my back is so thankful i spent the money.
Good luck with everything

Congratulations! Please don’t fall into the trap many people do with their first baby (me included) and think that using more ‘stuff’ makes you better prepared.

Babies need milk, nappies, somewhere safe to sleep, a car seat, sling and weather-appropriate clothes. All the rest can be got as and when needed (and hint, most of it is not needed!)

In my experience supporting new parents, adoptive babies have a great need for closeness and bonding to their new parents so I’d consider using a sling as main mode of transport rather than buggy to help enable that.

Everyone comes to parenthood a different way. Just because adopting is not as common as pregnancy, please don’t feel a fraud. I am sure most of the people who support new parents would be just as excited to hear about your adoption plans as hearing about someone’s pregnancy.

Congratulations again!

Congratulations. What a wonderful thing you’re doing.
-Nappies
-Cheeky Wipes (reusable wipes system)
-Yellow metanium cream to deal with inevitable nappy rash at some point
-Caboo sling
-Buggy- we live in the woods so needed all-terrain wheels. Rarely drive so didn’t worry about car-seat compatibility. Those kind of considerations are important. We didn’t bother with a bassinet, as the buggy laid flat anyway and we mainly used the sling initially.
-Maxi-Cosi Cabriofix car seat is the lightest of that brand and very easy to use
-Sleepsuits and vests
-Chicco Next to Me cot was great
-Angelcare bath support really useful
-A decent thermal flask for you!
-Sock-ons were really handy for the first 6 months altho perhaps not necessary over the summer!