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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To dump this guy?

21 replies

BittaBanter · 09/06/2019 06:42

Silently fuming here but I think I’ve had enough with this guy and need reassurance. Dated 20 years ago then reconnected. Both in our 40’s. Seeing each other 6 months but he still hasn’t told his family about me. Contraceptive mishap and I end up pregnant. Miscarriage followed shortly after and o found myself devastated. It drained me emotionally and physically but I got no support, was constantly asking him if he was ok because no matter how I was feeling he always seemed to be feeling worse. Only now am I starting to feel myself again and I just can’t stand him being around me. I’ve spent the last three weeks making excuses not to see him. I just don’t know what to do

OP posts:
Aquamarine1029 · 09/06/2019 06:43

You don't know what to do? You dump him. As soon as humanly possible. Don't waste another day.

MarthasGinYard · 09/06/2019 06:44

Call it a day

UnicornBrexit · 09/06/2019 06:48

Ex's are Ex's for a reason. The past is rarely worth visiting and almost never lives up to expectations.

Time to shut that book, for good.

FionasWineShow · 09/06/2019 06:51

You really have to ask??

Sorry about your miscarriage. Thanks

AlwaysCheddar · 09/06/2019 07:44

Get rid!

Sayyestothecake · 09/06/2019 07:47

“You just don’t know what to do” ?
Why on earth don’t you just finish things with him.

oneforthepain · 09/06/2019 08:03

Ditch him so you have space in your life for somebody who treats you right - with care and consideration.

mollpop · 09/06/2019 08:05

Bite the bullet and finish the relationship. I hope you find someone who treats you properly

SandyY2K · 09/06/2019 08:05

Time to end it. Tell him it's not working for you and wish him well for the future. No fuss, no drama.

jelly79 · 09/06/2019 08:07

Walk away. Everyone deserves better and you haven't put any reasons to stay in your post.

So sorry for your loss

FrankT · 09/06/2019 08:12

I don't understand the dilemma? Why would you stay with him if you can't stand to be around him?

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 09/06/2019 08:14

You’re not bound to him- I don’t even understand why this is a question

Ohyesiam · 09/06/2019 08:17

How do you mean you don’t know what to do?
Sexual relationships are optional extras , they are there to enhance your life. As you can’t bear to be around him I think you know the answer.
Really sorry for your lossFlowers.

Illberidingshotgun · 09/06/2019 08:19

You had a miscarriage but had to support him through it??

He's shown you who he is, and you owe him nothing.

pictish · 09/06/2019 08:20

It’s over already.
Besides, you don’t have to justify ending a relationship anyway. He doesn’t suit you as a long-term prospect and that’s all there is. You didn’t sign a contract did you?
Just end it.

ginghamtablecloths · 09/06/2019 08:38

Yes, you do need to dump him. He sounds like a 'mind fucker' if you'll excuse my language. He's making you unhappy and he's got to go. You really are better off without him.

Smelborp · 09/06/2019 08:42

Even if he was the most amazing man ever, he repulses you. No better reason to dump than that!

SammySamSam09 · 09/06/2019 09:20

I am hoping OP, that you are composing a text to dump this idiot. My suggestion is "Welcome to dumpsville, population YOU".

MrsAJ27 · 09/06/2019 09:41

Why is this even a question??

4legsandawaggytail · 09/06/2019 09:51

You know already. That's why your asking. You've probably had fed flags before now but wanted to think the best. YOU DESERVE BETTER.

BittaBanter · 13/06/2019 01:39

Only getting back online now. You were all right and I don’t know why I was even asking the question. Job done now anyway. Thanks all

OP posts:
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