AIBU to be concerned about the way keyworker is talking about ddd?

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My daughter attends nursery. Over the last few months or so her key worker has been referring to her as a ‘diva’ and a ‘princess’, in a negative way, when telling me about her day.

My dd is three years old and at times she can be strong willed, stubborn and need reminders to follow instructions. But she is given clear boundaries at home and is not spoilt or over indulged. The nursery have not previously raised any concerns regarding her behaviour and I don’t have any concerns about her behaviour at home. From what I can tell she seems to act like a pretty regular 3 year old.

I am growing more concerned about the negative way her key worker is talking about her and this is often in front of her. Am I being unreasonable to be annoyed, upset and concerned by this? Any advice would be very much appreciated.

I would absolutely hate that kind of language being used to describe my daughter. It’s sexist and should not be used by a childcare professional. I would say to the keyworker to please not talk about your daughter using those terms, especially not in front of her, and if necessary speak to the manager about it.

The language doesn't sound ideal, but I'd rather know the truth about my dc, if they are doing a hand over each day.

Yanbu. I think I would be inclined to raise it next time you speak to them,
" I've noticed you are using words like diva and princess to refer to DD. I am not sure if you realise the negative and sexist connotations? If you have concerns about dd I would very much like to know. I would prefer you not to use those words to describe her though"

I didn't realise the term diva was sexist. I've heard it used to describe males too.

I refer to my youngest as a rough and tumble princess. That's personality wise. But I'd be less impressed if she was described as acting like a princess. That's what I call our old male dog when he's being precious. Princess Bob.

didn't realise the term diva was sexist. I've heard it used to describe males too.

diva is the feminine form, divo is the masculine. people you have heard use diva for men are reinforcing the idea that whatever this negative behavior is, it is associated with women so much they don't even realize there is a word specifically for men that act like that.

why don't you call him Prince Bob when he's behaving whatever way prompts the name? because Princess, the feminine, is a negative term and Prince is neutral or positive?

oh, what's that flying over my head? the point of the original post?

I understand your irritation about the vocabulary being used about your DD, but I would try to read between the lines. Do you think the worker has concerns about your DD's behaviour or development?

Nursery nurses don't get paid much, but they do see your child with other children and observe how they behave with their peers.

My nephew was described as a diva too. He tends to domineer social interactions and needs to be the centre of attention; if he doesn’t get his way (or attention) he makes a really big show of it, fake tears, fake tantrums the works etc. He also tends to act a lot - really bad acting. Fake gasps of joy, fake shrieks of surprise. He’s basically posing for a selfie 24-7.

If you ask my brother and sil, like Op, they would say he also has ‘strong boundaries’ at home but he doesn’t. Not at all.

Unprofessional. I'd say something like "When you say Princess do you mean she's strong-willed?"

Thank you all for your responses they’ve really helped. Next week when I get a chance to talk to her keyworker I’m going to find out more about the behaviours the nursery are seeing behind these words.
Thank you for all for your advice and insight.