AIBU at airport security asking me to remove cardigan

[Saavhi]

Yesterday I went through security at Stanstead and was asked by a staff member to take off my cardigan in order for him to check me. I have never been asked this or seen anyone have to remove an item of clothing. I was wearing a very strappy form-fitting top with a cardigan on top. I felt extremely exposed when stood there as my tits/side boob were basically on show (had used top buttons for modesty). I'm not sure why this was necessary as I had not set off the machine and in no way could it look like I was concealing anything.

I have disproportionately large breasts which I have always been very self-conscious of so I accept that I may have been oversensitive. AIBU to think it was odd? I wasn't pat down or anything!

Flabbergasted at the flak you are getting, OP, for a totally conventional outfit - it's hardly abnormal to wear a vest with a light fitted cardi as the top with no expectation of having to take it off.

However, if security do ask you to remove it next time then by all means say you're not wearing much underneath/ask for a private room.

At airports in the Middle East/Asia I've had security guards gesture to me to remove a cardigan/blazer and then when they saw that my shoulders would be exposed they said never mind.

You might look great, you might look awful, either way people judging what you were wearing can wind their necks in.

I’m a 32H and have been asked to remove my cardigan, and lift my top up for my tummy to be swiped to trace for drugs. I’ve never given it a second thought until now🤷🏻‍♀️ They are only doing their job.

Sounds like it's just lesson learned OP. I'm not surprised you had to take a cardi off although I've rarely seen that myself. I usually make sure I wear shoes that are easy to remove and socks without darns in them. I've been frisked a few times and it's unpleasant but I figure it's just one more body to pat down to the people doing their jobs so I try not to let it bother me.

On one occasion I set off a security alarm and it took a while to work out what it was. Guards had me removing various things until we worked out what did it. I was starting to wonder if they had some switch they could operate to set the things off so you had to remove something else. We all treated it like it was quite funny really, which it sort of was, and I found it more empowering to laugh about it than to feel self conscious. That was at a small regional French airport a few years ago when you were still allowed to have a bit of a laugh.

I understand how people are getting more and more bewildered by this sort of thing. I travel a lot, and over the last few years there have been tighter and tighter checks, and yes, I've had to remove more and more pieces of clothing!

It does vary between airports, even within the same country, but yes, even light cardigans have to be removed quite often.

Were you in America? Their security is the worst.

I once had to take formula on the plane, and Heathrow basically didn't care. San Francisco TSA told me I had to have a pat down in order to take it which turned in to a public grope session. I didn't really care because we were flying with twins and I wasn't going to let them go hungry.

I think the main thing is OP wants sympathy for her embarrassment and I think she merits it. She went to a hot country and came back wearing not the best clothes with hindsight. How many of us come in that bracket? The number of holey socks I've seen at airport control - baggy men's trousers after pulling out belts - long boots determined not to come off then a bitch to pull back on. I always feel really, really sorry for what are just ordinary people going about their day faced with humourless security. (I do feel for security too mind). It seems anything is permissible if it's in the name of security.

I have huge boobs.
Always get asked to take cardis off.
Sometimes get patted down too.
My 76yr old DGM once had to strip down to her undies mind you she was carrying some odd items.....a couple of white puddings and a foil wrapped shamrock plant among them

I’m really surprised that some people are annoyed or frustrated by being searched or patted down at airport security. Especially in places like America, I’d rather they spend 30 minutes patting me down than end up in a 9/11 situation. They are just keeping us safe.

Maybe he suspected you had concealed items in your bra and your breasts were not genuine?
But you need to work on your discomfort, what would make you feel better about your oversized breasts? Do you need a reduction? Why live like this, life is too short.

Bananallama858

Sometimes it's just ridiculous though. If I am taking two babies, wouldn't it make sense I have formula? And how does a pat down change anything when it comes to the formula? It's just security for show.

As i posted earlier , i am an ex airport security officer. The man was doing his job. A high percentage of people plus their belongings are searched randomly, you don't need to alarm.
The guard must satisfy themselves 100% that you are not concealing anything b4 letting you through. It is a stressful job due to the sheer volume of people and belongings you are processing daily. You are constantly under surveilance yourself for compliance and audited. You are 100% accountable in this job. Due to the volume of people being scanned and the pressure of the job, it is highly unlikely that the guard pulled you aside to cop a look at your breasts!
You have to be thorough in that job and often it is as uncomfortable for the guard as it is for the passenger. In future ask for a female officer or a private search if you are that uncomfortable.

what would make you feel better about your oversized breasts? Do you need a reduction? Why live like this, life is too short.

Oh FFS!

Frequently travel with family and can report that we have encountered most if not all of these situations.

We are always ready before security but there is always a change from week to week. One week remove shoes, second week keep them on. I just prep for the whole lot and remove shoes, coats, watches, jewellery etc.

Worst had to be at my local airport where the staff put her hand inside my trousers and knickers front to back. Full pat down (happens 90% of the time) and yes I am large chested (30HH bravissimo) and practising Muslim wearing headscarf. I felt exposed and uncomfortable and raised it immediately with her and the supervisor. I was matter of factly told that you can complain, here are the forms and procedure details.

My point was that they could have offered to use the room instead of in the middle of security hall. They disagreed . This was only 2 years ago!!
I fully sympathise with the OP that the feeling of being exposed or uncomfortable is with the person themselved and is totally valid regardless what anyone else says.

Moomoo1975, I asked earlier about my adult well endowed child, who has SNs, maybe you could advise. She has always been treated with kindness by security staff, but if she had to be searched, what would be standard practice under those circumstances? Would I be permitted to stay with her in the private room? She would be terrified, but due to past abuse would mask it very well, until it got too much.

I got a patting down by a female security guard which involved her putting her hands on the inside of my knickers

I can’t believe no one has noticed this!

Someone put their hands in your knickers? What the hell?

I had to remove my flip flips once. They were cheap thin ones, wasn’t sure what I could hide in them. Got to keep my cardi on though.

S1naidsucks, hi there. Absolutely you can request a private search and accompany your daughter to a side room. Any guard that I worked with has always treated people with special needs as compasionately as possible. If her SN's are not obvious to an outsider, by all means mention it to the guard. There should be no problem. Usually 2 guards are present for a private search, 1 to do the search and the 2nd to observe and fill in paperwork. Please don't stress about travelling with your daughter. Avoid tops with metal beads etc as these can all set off alarms.

Thank you so much, Moomoo1975. That has really given me peace of mind. We travel between NI and England regularly, but I’d love to take her somewhere warm this winter, but have some concerns about the security after reading this thread. I wonder if there’s something I can get to ‘prove’ that she has SNs. I must look into that, though we do go through special assistance, so I imagine that might be enough. She just looks like a young girl, rather than a woman, except for the obvious.

I know we only read about the bad experiences, but I can genuinely say she has been treated really well. So I thank you, as you’re part of the security system.

I have disproportionately large breasts

That is enough to warrant checking they are breasts and nothing else surely?

What if a man had an evidently disproportionately large penis? I would want him checked to ensure that was a pork sword and not a real sword down there.

You are assuming that as you have big tits he obviously wanted to have an ogle. They’re not attractive to everyone you know... and not everyone is that shallow... or unprofessional!

They’re not attractive to everyone you know - I have recognised that point in an earlier post.

From what I gleaned from watching various border security TV programmes, the fact that you have disproportionately large breasts makes you more likely to be stopped. Nothing pervy, just that it is a common place for things to be concealed.

By vest I mean a vest as underwear with a bra underneath. Vests are not supposed to be seen in public.

Says who?

I’m not being obtuse, really, I just can’t get my head around this (unless in a place of worship or a Muslim country, obviously). Otherwise all strappy/vest tops would be in the lingerie department instead of with t shirts.

@BrendasUmbrella

Shock horror, you ran into a member of airport security doing his job - outrageous stuff. Whether your child needed the toilet or not there are protocols in place for very good reasons, sadly these can't be waived because your child didn't go to the toilet earlier

There are a lot of jobsworths with no common sense in airport security. Many times they don't even know their own rules. I always dress with the security check in mind to minimise hassle but it's getting worse none the less.
'security' is not an excuse to embarrass or belittle people, otherwise what are we defending ourselves against?