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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU at airport security asking me to remove cardigan

347 replies

Saavhi · 08/06/2019 12:03

Yesterday I went through security at Stanstead and was asked by a staff member to take off my cardigan in order for him to check me. I have never been asked this or seen anyone have to remove an item of clothing. I was wearing a very strappy form-fitting top with a cardigan on top. I felt extremely exposed when stood there as my tits/side boob were basically on show (had used top buttons for modesty). I'm not sure why this was necessary as I had not set off the machine and in no way could it look like I was concealing anything.

I have disproportionately large breasts which I have always been very self-conscious of so I accept that I may have been oversensitive. AIBU to think it was odd? I wasn't pat down or anything!

OP posts:
MardAsSnails · 08/06/2019 13:58

surely looking for ‘longer than necessary’ would be to establish that it is ‘boob not bomb’? (Love that phrase to the PP who said it!) rather than a proper hands on examination? Kind of a yes, they’re boobs, rather than anything excess added.

I fly a lot (currently sitting in an airport actually) and the rule everywhere is if it’s removable, be prepared to remove it if asked. I’ve once been asked and told them
That I was just wearing a bra underneath, they said ok and a female staff member gave me a pat down.

I’d much rather too much checking than not enough.

PCohle · 08/06/2019 14:00

Being asked to remove outer layers of clothing is perfectly normal. You can ask to do so in a private room with a female member of staff if you prefer.

I also think it's a bit weird that you didn't mention the staff member looking at you inappropriately until several posts in but now apparently that's your main issue.

Original poster
Saavhi · 08/06/2019 14:06

PCohle - I've explained why. I have my answer.

I was likely unreasonable/probably paranoid due to being uncomfortable re my clothing. Thanks, I accept that. For whatever reason, I have never seen a person wearing a cardigan like mine being asked to remove it for whatever reason despite travelling fairly frequently.

OP posts:
Yabbers · 08/06/2019 14:06

yabbers I once asked for a female agent and got told no, I could only request that for pat downs.
That is not correct procedure. And in the OPs situation where she was being asked to strip to what she appears to be suggesting is underwear, you absolutely could request it.

LolaSmiles · 08/06/2019 14:07

As with other posters, it's not wrong you personally felt a bit awkward but they're doing their job. Part of that is people removing outer clothing and the security staff looking at you.

To the poster who used this thread as a quick dig at Muslim women (Hmm), anyone can request a private room if they wish. Just most don't and some like to trot out 'yeah but Muslims...'

musicposy · 08/06/2019 14:13

You're overthinking this. I can't see anything in your list that was inappropriate. They follow strict guidelines. They have fake threats and "fake terrorists" come through constantly to check they are doing their job. Those are people like you, paid in their job to try to sneak stuff through, look innocent, look scared, not want to take outer layers off etc, all to check that security is doing their job. They are constantly monitored, constantly assessed and they work in teams. They also see literally thousands and thousands of passengers a day. Every single part of the airport is on constant CCTV and there's a team leader watching staff all the time.

All this doesn't make it absolutely impossible for someone to behave inappropriately but it makes it very very unlikely. You can lose your job in airport security for the tiniest thing and everyone knows that.

Next time, if you feel uncomfortable taking your cardigan off, ask for a private room or wear more clothes in the first place.

Also your OP made it sound as if the man patted you down. My first thought was "that isn't right, they can't do that, it has to be a woman". I was about to say yes, complain, then later you quietly admit it was a woman and all the man asked was for you to take your cardigan off. Massive drip feed which puts it all in a much worse light than it was.

jennymanara · 08/06/2019 14:13

Yabbers So what do you do if you are told no? It was presented very much as a take or leave it situation and I had to get through security to get a flight.

Tawdrylocalbrouhaha · 08/06/2019 14:14

I've had to take off the cardigan before, and my breasts are not much to boast of. If you can't take something off they just call a female guard to pat you down - it's not a problem to do this.

JinglingHellsBells · 08/06/2019 14:16

Don't wear tops that expose your large breasts then if you interpret everything as someone wanting to oggle them. Dress appropriately for travelling in public.

Frenchcroissant · 08/06/2019 14:17

I'm a 32a and have been asked to remove cardigans at airport lots of times. Are you implying security guy was a perv?

jennymanara · 08/06/2019 14:18

FFS surely as a woman you can tell whether a man is looking at your pervily or not? Why the casual dismissal of the OP saying this?

JinglingHellsBells · 08/06/2019 14:19

I have disproportionately large breasts which I have always been very self-conscious of so I accept that I may have been oversensitive.

But you are happy to wear a strappy form-fitting top which shows them off ? And which will reveal your ample assets when removed (sometime.)

Why not wear looser clothes and cover more of your assets?

AngelsWithSilverWings · 08/06/2019 14:19

Before my breast reduction I would often wear a smart close fitting cardi over a strappy vest top. Cardi always buttoned up. I considered the vest to be underwear and would never ever have worn it without something over the top of it. I was also very embarrassed about my boobs.

I'd have asked to be taken somewhere private if asked to remove the cardi.

I was once really embarrassed at airport security when I was stopped for a random pat down. The women doing it completely lifted my top up to feel around under my bra. My whole bare mid section was briefly on display. I was too shocked to complain.

Original poster
Saavhi · 08/06/2019 14:20

musicposy - I quite clearly stated in my op I was not patted down.

OP posts:
S1naidSucks · 08/06/2019 14:22

Dress appropriately for travelling in public.

Women can dress however the fuck they like and shouldn’t expect to be oggled. The OP was dressed in a way that she found comfortable and was asked to remove part of her clothing. She was asking if this was normal, not for a misogynistic comment on WHAT she should wear.

BrendasUmbrella · 08/06/2019 14:23

It's absolutely possible he saw a well endowed woman walking by and asked her to take her cardigan off for a quick thrill/power buzz. She knows what his demeanor was like better than any of us.

I had a knobhead stop me for questioning once while my toddler DS was asking for the toilet. He was clearly desperate, and the guy just stood there asking me who I was visiting, if I was staying with them. how long for, what I was going to do during my time there. Really dragging it out. And smirking. He knew he was messing me about when my toddler needed to use the loo, but I just had to wait there and answer his questions until he got bored. And it's not my only run in with that type at an airport. In fact I think you find a high concentration of that type at airports...

orangeshoebox · 08/06/2019 14:23

yabu
it is pretty common (as you can see from this thread)

Original poster
Saavhi · 08/06/2019 14:24

*But you are happy to wear a strappy form-fitting top which shows them off ? And which will reveal your ample assets when removed (sometime.)

Why not wear looser clothes and cover more of your assets?*

I wear a form-fitting tops but use cardigans as a cover-up. Would never wear that kind of top on its own in public/not on holiday. We were holidaying in a very warm country,

OP posts:
orangeshoebox · 08/06/2019 14:24

I always wonder how many people lose their trousers at security

Original poster
Saavhi · 08/06/2019 14:25

Also, I can wear what I like how misogynistic.

OP posts:
thirdfiddle · 08/06/2019 14:26

You could just say "I'd rather not, I've only got a vest on underneath". If they actually need to look inside it, they can offer you a private room and a female security person. They aren't to know you didn't have a full top on underneath the cardi though so you'd need to explain.

IHateUncleJamie · 08/06/2019 14:29

I have large boobs and cami/strappy tops don’t have to “expose” your boobs and sideboobs. What would you have done if you felt too hot on the plane? Sat there and boiled or taken your cardi off?

If the latter then what’s the difference between other passengers/flight crew seeing your bust and a security guard seeing it?

If you’d sit there and get hot then you need to go to Bravissimo and get fitted for a strappy top.

I would rather a security guard checked me and others to see if my boobs are boobs as opposed to bombs. Grin

Bananallama858 · 08/06/2019 14:32

Completely normal - they’re just doing their job! Lesson learnt for the way home I guess, wear something you’re comfortable in, as they have every right to ask you to remove items as part of their security checks.

jennymanara · 08/06/2019 14:33

Ihateunclejamie OP was wearing the strappy top as a vest. Of course she would not wear just a vest on the plane. And she bravamisso is not as great as some claim on here.

Original poster
Saavhi · 08/06/2019 14:41

IHateUncleJamie - of course cami tops don't have to expose side boobs but I put that particular top on with no intention taking off my cardigan. We left our hotel in the morning when it was cooler and returned to a damp country.

Lesson learned anyway.

I am a 32 f despite being slim and wearing size 10 jeans.

OP posts: