Bad omen

[UncertainMam]

I feel terrible but just found out my sisters have planned a big surprise baby shower for me tomorrow. I'm still not meant to know, I found out by accident and I'm really upset. I know they mean well but when I first told them I was pregnant they got excited about a shower and I said I don't think I'd be comfortable, after previous losses I'm a very nervous and see it as a bad omen. I'm almost scared that it's going to jinx the rest of my pregnancy. I'm 35 weeks. I could cry at the thought of it all

Oh OP!!!
They should not have done that. My friends wanted to throw one and I explained my feelings, similar to yours but I have not even suffered losses so I can't even begin to imagine.
You don't have to attend OP. ❤️❤️❤️

Can’t you just tell them? You have a very good reason to not want one, and they disrespected your feelings. You’re perfectly entitled to be cross and tell them as much - ‘I found out you have planned a surprise party, and I appreciate you’re excited but I really don’t want it. I won’t be coming and I suggest you cancel it immediately.’.

If you don’t want it, you have to find your backbone to tell them now.

Oh bless you op! It's really unfair that they've done this to you, did you say that you don't want it?

If it helps I don't want one, truly don't see the point in them, but a few of my friends wouldn't let up, in the end I said fine do it.
That's happening next weekend.

Here's a hand to hold and I hope it's as fun as it can be for you xx

Thanks all. Can it actually jinx it? They're trying to do a nice thing and have made a big effort, we all live hours apart so it's rare to all get together and I feel awful for ruining it because of superstitions. I've just finally made it this far and I don't want anything to go wrong now

Don't force yourself to go. I also think of baby showers as a bad omen and I haven't even suffered miscarriages!

Maybe just tell them that you're so touched they want to celebrate but you don't feel comfortable doing that until after the baby is born safe and healthy.

For the record, though, they have behaved badly here. I doubt they've done it on purpose but you have every right to be upset about this.

Just had another look at your OP - it's a surprise... So can't you just not go? If they try and get you to go somewhere just refuse. Be busy all day or shut yourself away at home because you're feeling unwell. Heavily pregnant women are allowed to have a day off because they're not feeling well, no one could blame you.

Hi OP, for you.

Can I ask how far along you were when your previous losses occurred? Because chances are that at 35 weeks your current pregnancy will continue to be absolutely fine, and even if it wasn't, there is no way a baby shower could influence that.

Can I gently suggest that maybe your sisters are trying to show you that it's time to stop worrying and start looking forward to arrival of your baby.

You’re not ‘ruining it’, they should have listened! Don’t force yourself to go to please other (but just for clarity, no you can’t jinx a pregnancy, there’s no such thing as jinxing but it’s completely understandable why you feel that way).

Of course it won't jinx it, but if you don't want one, that's prefectly OK.

Can you avoid it by being in the wrong place at the wrong time?

You won’t jinx your pregnancy, but I can understand why you’re upset and if you don’t want a shower they should respect that.

Stop worrying about ‘ruining’ it and talk to your sisters. Tell them you’ve got wind of the shower but that you don’t want one, explain your reasons.

Your sisters are throwing this shower because they want to do a kind/ loving thing for you. If they truly are kind and loving then they’ll understand and be happy to cancel because they’ll want to do what’s best for you.

Oh op. I understand, I've had losses and I've spent my pregnancy trying not to be excited in case something happens. But please know, the baby shower can't jinx your baby. There is no connection.

Bad Omen? You mean like a 'tempting fate' kind of thing?

I think you just have to tell them, TBH.

If they rebranded itas something slightly different, would that feel any better? A pamper day? A sisters' get together?