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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Sexual attraction

3 replies

JjKin · 08/06/2019 10:31

Can you ever get it back and if not, how important is it in a successful marriage/long term relationship?

Been married to DH only a year but together for 5 years. DH is my best friend and pretty much perfect in every way, can’t fault him at all and I love him to bits. He’s kind, honest, makes me laugh and I know he adores me. The only issue is, whilst I can see that he is very physically attractive and I know I’m lucky to have him, I just don’t feel particularly sexually attracted to him anymore.

For the first three years or so we couldn’t keep our hands off each other. Nothing has changed in that he still feels that way for me and he still takes very good care of himself, has a good body etc... I just don’t feel as though I want to rip his clothes off anymore. Sex is enjoyable when we do eventually DTD, but getting there feels a bit forced on my part as I just don’t really feel that way about him anymore. We are affectionate in other ways but the sexual excitement for him on my part has gone.

We’re youngish (v early 30s) have no DC yet so it’s not been caused by sleepless nights or any other issues in our marriage or age related. So I’m wondering....Is it normal to feel this way over a period of time and how important is sexual attraction in a long term relationship/marriage?

OP posts:
Villanelle6 · 08/06/2019 11:05

Place marking as I’m interested too

Galaxy88 · 08/06/2019 11:38

From my experience it happens. I've been with my dp for 11 years, married for 1 (also early thirties) however, we both know it's something we need to work on and were trying to get that spark back. We both want to, but I think we've got a case of lazy!
I would say, if you still love your dh and want to make it work, just take some time and effort to fill in the gaps

MrsNK · 09/06/2019 13:44

It can definitely happen in any long term relationship. Maintaining a successful relationship (and sex life) requires effort from both of you and it sounds as though things may have become a bit stagnant for you. You need to look at mixing things up and finding something which excites you both again. Does your DH know how you feel?

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